10 reasons he is rude to you for no reason (and what to do about it)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

I want to start this article by first saying that I am not a psychologist, I’ve never worked in the mental health field, and I can’t tell you exactly why he is being rude to you.

All of this information is based on my observations and experience as a woman who has interacted with many men in her life.

In this article, we talk about 10 reasons why someone might be rude to you for no reason, what common behaviors are associated with these reasons, and of course what you should do about them!

1) He just doesn’t care about your feelings

I have learned that if someone is rude to you for no reason, there is a very good chance that they just don’t care about your feelings.

People who love you will want to make you happy. If the person you are with is not doing that, then something is wrong.

If your boyfriend does something hurtful or rude, and then deflects your concerns by telling you that it was just a joke, he doesn’t care about the impact of what he said on you.

And if he doesn’t care about how you feel, then there is no point in speaking to him about it — because if he is rude to you for no reason, it will only get worse.

2) He has trust issues and sees this behavior as a coping mechanism

If you are dating someone who is rude to you for no reason, it is highly likely that there is some deeper issue going on.

He may feel hurt, and this may be his way of dealing with things.

Or it could be a coping mechanism for him.

In many cases, the person you are dating has some underlying issue that is causing them to behave rudely.

Perhaps they are trying to get attention or to let off steam — and they think if they do something really hurtful, it will stop them feeling so sad or upset.

I had a friend who was rude to her boyfriend for no reason — she would be suddenly angry for seemingly no reason – and he just couldn’t understand it.

One day, he asked her why she always got annoyed when they were alone in the house. Her response shocked him: “Because if I am mean to you in private, I don’t have to be so nice to anyone else.”

3) He can’t communicate his feelings in any other way

Maybe he loves you, and wishes he could tell you but he is not very good at communicating his feelings, or he just doesn’t know how to tell you that he loves you.

If this is the case, it may be because he has had negative experiences when it comes to expressing his emotions.

Maybe he has been taught that it is shameful to express weakness, or that men shouldn’t show emotion.

In these cases, he might not know how to communicate his feelings in a healthy way and he may become rude in reaction.

Similarly, being angry may be a healthy emotional response, but if it is not expressed in the right way it can end up as anger gone wrong.

On the other hand, maybe his family has taught him that expressing emotions is bad  so maybe he has never learned to express himself fully verbally.

And if he hasn’t been able to do this, then he may use bad communication as a way to avoid speaking to you.

4) He’s jealous or possessive

It is normal for people to be possessive of the things they love, so this can also be an explanation as to why someone might be rude to you.

Don’t get me wrong — I am not saying that it is healthy for someone to experience jealousy or possessiveness.

I am just saying that this is a possible reason.

If your boyfriend or husband is behaving in a way that seems rude, he may well just be jealous of your time spent with other people.

Maybe he thinks that you are going to leave him for one of these people, and his feelings are making him act out.

If this is the case, the best thing you can do is to show him some love and reassure him that you are not going anywhere.

5) He is trying to manipulate you

If you are dating a man and he is rude for no reason, it may be because he is trying to manipulate you.

A person who manipulates someone in an abusive way will often be secretive and difficult to speak to. They will often deny their behavior and try to convince the other person that they are not being rude or controlling.

It is important to remember that manipulative people are rarely acting out of kindness.

And this makes it even more difficult for their victims to discern whether the problems they are experiencing are actually based on good intentions or bad.

This can make the situation between you and your man more dangerous.

Because if you do not know whether the behavior you are experiencing is a result of manipulation or genuine aggression, then it is difficult to know how to respond to him.

6) He is dealing with his own problems

I have dated men who have been rude to me for no reason, and I have often said: “why are you being so mean?”

They never answer — but if you could see inside their mind, you would probably find that there is something going on in their life that requires them to be rude.

Some men become nasty because they are dealing with issues of their own.

And if this is the case, it is important for you to realize that he will not magically stop being mean because you tell him how hurtful his behavior is.

He needs guidance from someone who can help him deal with the issues going on in his life.

7) He’s not in a good mood

If you have spoken to your boyfriend about your concerns about his rude behavior, and he responds by saying that he is just bad-tempered, then it is likely that maybe he just isn’t feeling too good.

Moodiness and a change in attitude can indicate a person who is struggling with their emotions.

Maybe something has gone wrong at work, or perhaps he is feeling stressed or anxious.

Maybe you have had an argument and he feels bad about how things went down between the two of you.

If he is feeling a little under the weather or something is bothering him, then his moodiness and rude behavior is just a sign that he needs some loving and affection from you.

8) He doesn’t want to be with you

Sometimes, people become rude “out of the blue” and you never see them like this before.

And, when I look back at my own experience of dating guys who were rude for no reason, it was almost always the case that I would start to notice changes in their behavior.

In most cases, these changes happened after we had been seeing each other for a while and there was usually something going on in his life that triggered it.

When we decide to be in a relationship with someone, it is important for both people to feel that they are being loved and wanted.

And if a man does not feel this way about you, then there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

Maybe there was someone in his life who he needed to get back with, or maybe there was a problem at work that frustrated him.

But whatever it was, I always found that after about six months of dating, something changed and he became rude.

9) He’s rude because you make him nervous and anxious

This is a very common reason why someone’s behavior might become rude — it is often due to the fact that you make them uncomfortable.

And if this is the case, it can cause him to act out in ways that seem rude to you.

Maybe he feels nervous and anxious around you, and as a result his behavior becomes mean and unkind.

I have heard men say: “I am just not very good with people, so when I am with my girlfriend I tend to get angry and nasty because she reminds me so much of my mother.”

You can help him by stating your concerns about his anger and getting him to talk rather than making him feel anxious on top of the fact that he feels angry with you.

10) He’s worried about the future

After someone has been in a loving relationship for a long time, there is nothing more scary than thinking of spending the rest of your life alone.

And if you are feeling nervous and anxious about where your relationship is going, it is not surprising that your man will end up being rude to you.

If he feels distant or disconnected from you, he might start to worry that one day you will leave him; this worrying can cause him to act out and be rude to you.

And if this is the case, then the best thing to do is just talk openly with him and reassure him that you are still committed to the relationship.

If he’s being rude to you, what to do about it?

Most people who are being cruel and rude to you are overwhelmed with their own emotions, and this makes it difficult for them to get the help they need.

One of the biggest ways to deal with a man being rude for no reason is to remember that none of us are perfect, and each situation is different.

Maybe your boyfriend did not intend on hurting you, but he was overwhelmed by his own emotions, and he ended up causing you pain instead.

His behavior might be rude or hurtful but it may not have been malicious in nature.

Hopefully he has realized that what he did was wrong and feels terrible about the fact that his behavior hurt you.

If your boyfriend has been rude to you and continues to do so, then it is important to take these steps.

Ignore his behavior and be supportive of him by asking him how he is feeling.

If he continues to be mean to you, then take a step back and distance yourself from him.

You should not be with a man who is being rude or aggressive towards you.

But if your boyfriend needs help because of his own problems, then consider seeking out

relationship coach.

Another good resource if you are struggling with a rude boyfriend is this website called Relationship Hero. It is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

Remember that we do not always see the best in ourselves, but you can help your boyfriend by being honest, open and supportive of him.

When he is dealing with his own issues then it is important to tell him that he needs to be taken care of too and help him out.

If he genuinely needs help himself, then don’t let yourself be hurt or upset by his behavior — instead take it as an opportunity to learn how to deal with his emotions.

And if this advice doesn’t seem to work, there is nothing stopping you from talking with a counselor in case of an emergency.

If he continues being rude to you, it means nothing good for the relationship department.

When I started dating my now-ex-boyfriend, everything was fine. I still don’t know when he started to change — but he did.

He began to make me feel like I was crazy and was always telling me that I was imagining things … but of course, it didn’t take long before my sanity caught up with him!

And when I looked back at our history, I found out that there was something wrong that had been going on for a long time.

When it came to men and women, we never saw eye-to-eye and got into an argument about it.

It all ended up with him storming out of the house in an angry mood and never wanting to speak to me again.

But after a while, he started acting mean again and became more aggressive towards me.

The good thing about this is that when we start dating someone it generally takes time to get to know each other.

And if you realize what is starting to happen, then there is a good chance you can talk with your boyfriend and try to talk him out of the anger and make him understand you are a better person than he thinks you are.

The next point that I want to clear up involves the fact that many people tend to forget how difficult it can be being in a relationship with someone who is difficult.

But if we approach our relationship as though it was going well, then we will always have something positive to look forward to every day.

Most of the time when a relationship is going good, there is never really a problem.

And if you are finding it hard to get through your boyfriend being mean to you and being rude, then the best thing to do is stop and take a step back and have a good think about what could be wrong.


I hope that I have helped you understand the many different reasons why he is rude to you for no reason.

And if you are suffering from being in a relationship with someone who is mean and rude to you, then hopefully this article will help you understand that sometimes it is not all your fault.

If your boyfriend is being mean and abusive to you, then it means nothing good for the relationship department.

Take time to consider what is happening before taking any action or getting any advice from others.

You cannot change anything about him, but try to find out why he behaves in this way if possible — and most importantly try not to let yourself be upset by it.