14 reasons your ex updates you on her life

Do you ever find yourself wondering why your ex keeps texting you? 

Even though you’ve already moved on and are happily in a new relationship, it seems like your old flame won’t let go that easily. 

You might think that they’re just trying to be friendly after the breakup, but then again, maybe there’s something else going on.

Fortunately, we can help you figure out why they keep texting you after a breakup. In this article, we’re going to reveal the top 10 reasons why your ex keeps texting you and what you can do about it.

1) She wants closure.

What is closure? 

Closure after a breakup means that you and your ex meet to discuss what happened in the relationship, why it didn’t work out, and how both of you can go on with your lives independently. 

Closure is important because it helps you understand why the relationship ended and while doing so, it helps you let go of any emotional baggage left over from the past. 

If your ex keeps texting you after the breakup, it could mean that her feelings for you were never fully resolved. 

Sometimes, people who have a high level of feelings for another person don’t always get a chance to voice those feelings before a breakup occurs. 

If your ex was never able to let you know how she felt about you, she might be trying to work that out now by keeping in touch with you after the breakup

If her feelings for you have yet to be resolved, she might keep texting you because she’s hoping that you’ll take the hint and take the relationship to the next level. 

She might even want to get back together with you; however, that shouldn’t be your priority right now.

Right now, your priority should be getting closure and moving on with your life.

2) She wants you to know that she moved on (but she didn’t really).

If your ex keeps text messaging you, it means that she’s wanting to let you know that she’s moved on from you and that the relationship is over. 

However, it also means that she might be lying to herself about being in a happy relationship. 

She might keep texting you just so you feel jealous and uncomfortable knowing that she’s still around, but if that’s the case, then it means that she still has unresolved issues and she might not be ready to forget you yet.

3) She’s trying to make you jealous.

If your ex keeps texting you, it means that she wants you to know that she’s in a happy relationship and isn’t interested in anything else. 

The truth is that this might not be the case; however, it’s important that you avoid doing anything about it. 

If she’s trying to make you jealous, then don’t let her know that it worked. 

Instead, just don’t reply to any of her messages and then this problem will simply go away over time.

4) She believes that you still have feelings for each other (but you don’t).

If your ex keeps texting you, it means that she’s probably still in love with you and she’s hoping that the feeling is mutual (but it definitely isn’t). 

They might still be hoping that you’ll give the relationship another chance and that you’ll change your mind about the breakup. 

Exes who want to reconcile may keep in touch with you because they’re not quite ready to end the relationship just yet. 

They may want to stay in contact with you to buy themselves some more time to make the relationship work again.

They might also be keeping in touch with you because they want to make you miss them and long for the relationship that you had with them.

If she believes that you still have feelings for each other, then it might be a good idea to tell her the truth: that you are in a good place and absolutely not interested in her romantically.

In fact, if you don’t tell her the truth then it will only hurt her in the long run. 

She needs to hear that you’re not interested in anything more than friendship if you continue to keep communicating with each other. 

5) She still wants to be in control.

Are you still being contacted by an ex who keeps texting you after the breakup? 

If so, it could be that she wants to stay in control of the breakup process. 

Exes who want to stay in control of the breakup process may keep texting you because they don’t want to fully commit to the breakup yet. 

They might want to keep their options open and stay in touch with you to make sure that you don’t move on too quickly.

If you were the one who ended the relationship, your ex might be contacting you to see if you’re willing to take it back. 

Or perhaps she’s only contacting you because she’s trying to maintain control over the relationship.

6) She wants to get back together with you.

If your breakup was mutual and amicable, then it’s quite possible that she still wants to be with you. 

Take the time to talk to her about it and see if she’s still interested in rekindling the relationship

If she really is, then maybe you should consider giving it a shot again. 

However, if the breakup was a result of her cheating or some other form of abuse and you’ve made it clear that you want to be with someone else, then it’s time to move on.

7) She wants to make contact so she won’t feel lonely.

People often use texting as a means of avoiding loneliness, and if your ex keeps texting you after a breakup, she might just want to feel connected with someone else.

Whichever the reason is, it’s important to understand why she’s still texting you. 

Maybe you should take some time out and give her some space. 

If she texts you again, then tell her that you haven’t been receiving any messages from her or that you don’t have any plans to communicate with her. 

If she keeps sending messages, then don’t respond unless it’s necessary and definitely stop reading them at that point.

8) You’re still important to her.

If your ex keeps texting you after the breakup, there’s a good chance that you were a very important person in her life. 

Maybe you were even her first love, and she still wants to remain in contact with you even though the relationship is over. 

Exes who are still really interested in keeping in touch with you might be those who are just not ready to let go yet. 

They might have a hard time getting out of the relationship without feeling like their life is somehow incomplete. 

She might not be ready to break contact with you just yet because doing so would mean letting go of her first love.

 It would mean moving on from something that no longer exists in her life. 

This type of ex may be keeping in touch with you as a way of staying connected to her past.

Even if the relationship ended with some bad feelings, she may be keeping in touch with you to maintain the connection and avoid dealing with her grief.

9) She wants to see if you’re moving on too fast.

Your ex might be wondering if you’ve already moved on from the relationship, so she’s trying to make contact with you.

If that’s the case, then it would be a good idea to reply to her message and let her know that you’re doing fine. 

However, avoid getting back together or having any type of commitment with her at this point.

10) She’s dying to hear about your new relationship.

If you’re in a new relationship now, then your ex might want to get some inside information about the new woman in your life. 

If that’s the case, and you don’t really want her to know about your private life, then what you need to do is just ignore her messages and pretend like you never received them.

11) She wants to know if she’s over the relationship (but she isn’t).

During a breakup, it can be difficult to tell if you’re over your ex or not. 

It can be even more difficult to tell if she’s over you or not

In addition to that, there’s a possibility that she might be over you and just needs to know. 

If she keeps texting you and it’s not because she needs to tell you something, then cut her off. 

You won’t be missing anything if you read her message; however, it will only make things worse in the long run. 

12) Your ex is obsessed with you.

Ever since she started dating you, your ex has been in love with you. Their thoughts, feelings and emotions towards you are all positive.

They talk about you all the time. 

They couldn’t help but tell everybody and their brother how much they “love” you. 

They can’t help but show off their new found relationship to their friends.

And then your relationship ended. But your ex couldn’t let go and refuses to accept it.

She is still obsessed with you, and wants to keep checking for your status

13) Your ex loves attention.

Your ex wants to continue to receive attention from you, her friends and family. 

And by replying to other people’s inquiries about your breakup, she gets more attention. 

Instead of getting ignored, your ex will inform you about her dating life, in the hopes that you will finally respond to her and give her the attention she has been craving for.

14) She wants to hurt you.

Your ex doesn’t want to be friends with you. She wants to make your heart broken and jealous just like she is feeling now.

So by updating you on her new life, she thinks that you will feel bad and think about her more frequently.

She wants you to miss her and regret your relationship.

To make matters worse, she is also hoping that you won’t forget about her.

But you don’t have to worry about it.

Here are some tips to help you stop your ex from texting you.

  • Stop responding to her calls and messages. If she is really interested in contact, then she will do more than just text. If you don’t reply, then she will soon lose interest and move on without you.
  • If you can’t resist texting her back, then tell her that you can only reply once or twice and then stop.
  • Don’t give too much information about yourself, your life or your relationship. It is best if you don’t text them at all.
  • Don’t yell at them or ask them why they’re doing this to you. Instead, just ignore her texts and move on with your life.
  • Focus on your own happiness and well being.
  • Don’t pay attention to her messages and calls.
  • If you can’t avoid her, then politely tell her that you are not interested and wish her the best of luck with her dating life.


When it comes to why your ex keeps texting you, there are many possible explanations. 

Your ex may be trying to stay connected to their past, they may be trying to control the breakup, or they may be trying to make you jealous. 

Whatever the reason is, it will be hard for you to move on when she keeps contacting you, while you have to think of your well being and your mental state. 

While this article explores the main reasons why your ex keeps texting you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and the relationship’s problems that you are facing.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like how to deal with exes who keep texting you while you are in a new relationship. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.