Why am I always tired around my girlfriend? (12 possible reasons)

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If you’re always feeling more tired around your girlfriend, it might not be a coincidence. 

There are a number of different reasons why this could happen – and some might be very serious. 

Keep reading! Here are 12 possible reasons why you might feel tired around your girlfriend. 

1) You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to live up to your girlfriend’s standards

Think about this for a moment:

Have you ever been in a relationship where you constantly feel anxious because you don’t want to disappoint the girl?

This is a massive energy drain.

I’m not saying that you should become a “yes man”, but it’s important to learn how to accept yourself and be comfortable enough with who you are. If you’re always striving for perfection, your stress levels will increase and your body will try to use as much energy as possible just to function normally. 

And this is why, in the end, you might feel more exhausted than usual.

For example, if your girlfriend has a very specific type of body, you might feel the need to exercise constantly and eat perfectly, just to be able to match her expectations.

But this isn’t sustainable. Your body will continue to demand more energy, and eventually, you’re going to collapse and burn out. 

Instead, become comfortable with yourself and learn how to accept yourself. 

2) The relationship is too physical, and it’s wearing you out

If you’re always being intimate with your girlfriend all the time, it can be draining.


Let’s look at it from an energy perspective. As we mentioned before, it’s not a coincidence that you feel more tired after sex because energy is being expended. 

The act of sex itself requires great physical and emotional effort made to satisfy the desires of another person and have a great time doing it. 

In other words, sex is a great deal of work, both emotionally and physically. 

This can lead to a depletion of energy and feelings of exhaustion in the long run. 

On the other hand, if you’re always trying to initiate sex, your girlfriend might feel like she’s being used for her body and will eventually cease to desire intimacy with you. If your relationship has become very physical in nature, it’s time to take a step back from each other.

3) You don’t get enough time to yourself

Maybe you don’t have enough time to do what you love anymore.

Maybe, in the beginning, you were really into your hobbies. But now that you’re in a relationship, you don’t get enough time to engage in them anymore.

This is another common situation that leads to a massive depletion of energy over time – both due to the lack of engagement and because of the great amount of stress associated with leaving something behind, like your hobbies, for someone else’s sake.

So how to fix this?

Well, you need to plan this around your girlfriend and make it an easy transition from one activity to another. Don’t have a monthly or even weekly schedule that’s incompatible with what you enjoy doing. 

And if you really want to do something, ask your girlfriend if it’s okay with her first. It’s always nice to know if you’re not going to be a disappointment in the future.

4) Your girlfriend is trying to control your life in some way

Another reason why your girlfriend is always making you tired might be because she wants to control your life in some way.

What do I mean by that? 

Well, maybe she’s interested in what you’re doing all the time. She wants to know where you are and who you’re talking to. She wants to call your phone frequently, hoping to catch you doing something wrong or out of place, just so she can get mad at you.

Or maybe she’s not allowing you to do things that you enjoy. She tells you what to do and what not to do, and if you disagree, she gets mad at you.

What’s worse is if she manipulates your emotions – maybe making it seem like all of the communication problems in your relationship are because of her when in reality, it’s really because of your own feelings.

You should never allow anyone to control your life this way. It’s not healthy – for you or your relationship. 

5) You’re not that into her

The truth is:

If you’re not that into your girlfriend, your relationship with her is going to feel like a giant burden.

You’ll feel tired all the time because it’s not a natural fit. You’re trying to force yourself into something you don’t actually enjoy.

If this is the case, I suggest that you spend some time evaluating the relationship and what you want out of it. Think about quality over quantity, and focus on finding someone who suits you better.

Don’t be afraid to go through the process of leaving your girlfriend if you don’t think you’re ready or it’s not a good match for you and your life. That might be how you find someone better, who is truly worthy of being in a relationship with.

6) She’s too needy and clingy 

If your girlfriend is needy and clingy, it might be a serious problem.

All of that attention she’s requiring is a great deal of emotional and physical effort – something you might not have the energy to give her. 

It’s also draining to constantly have to reassure her that everything is okay. 

To make matters worse, she may start crying and smothering you with hugs when you can’t give her what she wants at that moment.

The worst part is:

As soon as you give up on her and stop trying to fulfill her every need, she starts feeling resentful. Finally, someone is giving her what she wants and the attention she wants! 

So she starts to demand more and more of your time, energy, and attention – all while still not living up to her end of the relationship.

While it’s great to have someone who loves you and values your presence, there are limits. If she starts to go overboard, it’s time to put on the breaks.

7) Your girlfriend doesn’t respect your boundaries

A relationship is about respect.

You should never be afraid to communicate the boundaries of your relationship, nor should you be afraid to enforce them.

If your girlfriend is not respecting your boundaries, then that’s a big problem. Essentially, she’s telling you that she wants to dictate how you live your life and what you’re doing at every moment of every day.

There’s no space for a relationship to grow in this kind of environment, especially if you’re finding it difficult to be yourself. If your girlfriend doesn’t respect your boundaries, then she might not be the right person for you.

8) You’ve fallen victim to the “couple bubble”

The Couple Bubble is a term that describes an agreement to make your relationship a priority before and above anything else. It creates a safe zone where both partners feel secure and part of a team.

On the surface, this is a great development and a clear sign of commitment; however, it’s not uncommon for both people to fall into their role as the Couple Bubble and for their individuality to get lost.

Let me explain:

This means that both people become so committed to their partner that they begin to lose sight of the outside world. They don’t communicate with friends or family and they forget how to be alone themselves.

One of the partners usually becomes extremely dependent on the other, while the other becomes overly protective. In this space, both members of the couple have forgotten what it’s like to experience life by themselves.

This situation can, at times, be beneficial because it allows both partners to share the stress of juggling family, school, work, and other responsibilities. 

However, the relationship becomes toxic when one or both partners start to feel suffocated and overpowered by their partner’s ever-growing control over every aspect of their life.

What’s worse is that it happens gradually. You don’t even realize what’s happening until you wake up one day and realize your entire life is surrounded by this toxic bubble that breeds resentment and anger.

9) Your romantic partner is high-maintenance

High-maintenance people tend to have a lot of emotional needs, desires, and preferences. They require a lot of care and attention. They’re more interested in themselves than they are in their partner.

They can be demanding, manipulative, high-strung, and angry when things aren’t going their way.

This is the kind of person who always wants the best stuff – from food to clothing to trips to vacations. They have an inflated sense of what they deserve and will always let you know about it.

If you’re married to such a person, then it might be time for some self-reflection and honest communication.

10) There are some unresolved issues in the relationship 

Although you might have been aiming for a committed relationship, this isn’t always what you get.

It could be that you married someone who is already attached to someone else. It could be that there are issues with your partner’s family or friends. It could be because of a specific situation that is too difficult to resolve on your own.

Whatever the case, I think it’s important to address these issues as soon as possible.

You want to ensure that these problems don’t continue to fester, grow, and get worse. At this point, it might be time to consult a legal professional.

11) Your partner’s sleep patterns are irritating you

Some people are night owls, while others are early birds. If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t adhere to the same sleep patterns as you do, then that’s going to negatively affect your life.

To make it worse, they will frequently complain that they don’t feel rested or energized during the day…even though their sleep habits are entirely their own problem.

You could be doing everything possible to sleep well, but you can’t get a good night’s rest because your partner keeps you up with their incessant talking and their sleep schedule.

12) There’s more going on in your life than just the relationship 

Your relationship is going to be affected by a lot of other things besides your romantic relationship. Your career, home life, friends, family, etc. – all of these factors can affect your relationship.

For example, you might be at a point where you’re trying to pursue your education or build your career. This probably means that you’re not going to have enough time for your girlfriend.

You might also have been working late hours, investing a lot of your time in building something bigger, or dealing with family issues and other problems. This can also affect your relationship.

Sometimes you might not realize it until it’s too late. Other times, you’ll know that something has been going on in the background but you won’t know what to say or do about it.

This is where communication is key.

It is also useful to think about how much time you spend with your partner, as well as how much time you spend doing other things.

If there are things that are creating this imbalance, then you and your partner might want to discuss a possible solution.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, this article has given you some useful ideas about how to improve your relationship.

I think it’s important to remember that relationships are a two-way street, so it’s up to both people in the relationship to keep their own lives healthy, regardless of their partner’s behavior.

And remember that if you are struggling with a relationship, there are always professionals that can help you.

You might want to talk to a counselor, relationship coach, or perhaps a friend who’s gone through this process before.

Do what works for you and make sure that your partner is doing the same so that both of your hearts and minds are involved in building happy and healthy relationships.