Girls use the phrase “I need time to think” for a variety of possible reasons, but unfortunately we often don’t understand what on Earth that means.
This article aims to break down the various ways she might be using this phrase and provide a general guideline of what it could mean.
The following are 14 possible interpretations of the phrase.
1) She wants to make sure the relationship is going in the right direction before committing to it
Regardless of just how strong your relationship is, women are generally more cautious in committing to things.
If a girl likes you and wants to be with you but is worried about getting hurt or just doesn’t feel like she’s ready, she might ask for some time to think as an excuse.
Alternatively, if you’re both having a good time but aren’t necessarily moving towards anything serious, it could simply mean that she wants to make sure she enjoys the second date before deciding anything longer-term.
So if you think she’s going to say yes and she suddenly says “I need time to think” then don’t worry, it could just be that she needs more time before making a commitment.
2) She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying no outright
You might be wondering:
Why would a girl have to pretend to need time when she’s just not that interested?
And you’d be right to wonder. Girls don’t generally use this phrase if they’re not interested or have no interest in starting a new relationship.
The reason why she might pretend that she needs time is that there’s no easy way for her to say “I’m not interested” and end it without hurting your feelings. Getting rejected is never fun, but the least fun way of doing so is by blatantly saying “No thanks”.
So what are the signs that she’s not interested? Signs include:
- She’s not responding to your messages/calls/texts/Facebook messages
- She keeps canceling on you and gives excuses when you ask her out (i.e. “I feel overwhelmed” / “I don’t have time” / “I’m too busy”)
- She’s getting sick of you and flirting with other guys (jealous)
- She says she wants to be friends but things have been going on for too long and she’s starting to miss her single time
- She’s keeping a lot of secrets from you (i.e. she’s keeping her new boyfriend a secret)
If any of these signs ring true in one way or another, you should reconsider a relationship with this girl because she doesn’t want it.
3) She’s scared of getting hurt
In relationships, it’s always a gamble. It’s just a matter of how much you trust the girl and how willing she is to take that risk with you.
If a girl is cautious about getting hurt, it might be because she’s scared of being vulnerable to your feelings and getting hurt.
Infidelity can happen to anyone at any time for any number of reasons and “I need time” is no exception.
In the same vein, she may be worried about oversмating her feelings for you and risking that she could get too attached.
Therefore, you need to let her know that you’re not interested in anything more than a casual relationship. Let her know that you’re willing to take a risk with her if she’s willing to take one with you.
4) She’s in denial about how much she cares about you
This one is a bit of a cruel joke. If you really want to make someone laugh, tell them they’re in denial about something.
The phrase “I need time to think” could be an example of this because most girls are afraid to admit that they want you as much as you want them.
If she’s not ready to say “I like you” because she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, then she may say this in order to buy some time. Alternately, if you’ve already said it and she hasn’t reciprocated by saying it back, then this could be a sign that she just needs some time to think.
Either way, the best thing you can do is wait patiently and try not to put her on the spot.
5) She’s going through something personal which requires her to focus on herself instead of you at that moment
This is one of the most common reasons for a girl to ask for time to think.
In her mind, she could be thinking:
“I’m not ready for a relationship right now because I’m too busy with work or school. During this time I’ll be thinking about myself and focusing on my own problems and I don’t want to bring you into that.”
She’s perfectly entitled to take some time to think because sometimes people need to take care of themselves first and foremost.
So if she asks for time, give her space and respect it. Just don’t take it personally or assume it’s always the case.
6) She may be overwhelmed by the situation
Some relationships can be overwhelming for girls because they’re not used to such an intense connection or have a hard time handling the emotionality involved.
Relationships are exciting and can be great, but they also involve a lot of risks, and risks always involve taking the time to think about them.
So if you’re overbearing or are pressuring her, she might say this as an excuse to get some time away from you.
If she’s overwhelmed, then chances are that she just needs some space to recuperate. You should respect that and give it to her.
One of the tips I often give here is to let her know that you’re willing to wait for her as long as she needs. Gently but firmly tell her you’re not going anywhere and won’t pressure her into making a decision.
If you do this, then it’s more likely that she’ll come around to your point of view.
7) She’s not even sure what she wants
It’s perfectly healthy to have a girl who asks for time because she’s not sure what she wants.
Sometimes you’re so excited about a new relationship that you don’t stop to think about what you actually want in one.
So she might be asking for some time to think about whether or not a relationship with you is what she wants or not.
When someone doesn’t know what they want, they usually know it’s not good or bad at the same time. It’s just something unknown that can’t be described with words so she might just ask for some time to think about it.
Here’s another tip to deal with this situation:
Suggest spending time doing a mutually enjoyable activity together (i.e. going out to lunch, playing a game, etc.) so you both can spend time with each other and get to know each other better.
If she agrees to this, it’s a good sign that she likes you and is just trying to figure it all out.
8) She just got out of a serious relationship and needs some space before jumping into a new one
Here’s the thing:
Sometimes people who’ve been recently broken up actually need time to give themselves a chance to heal before getting back into another relationship.
Chances are that she just needs some space in order for her to heal and become a whole person again rather than just a damaged, empty shell of her former self.
You should respect her wishes and give her space.
If you try to push her into giving you an answer (i.e. “I need time to think about this” or “I need time to myself”), it may trigger a panic attack that makes things worse. It’s better to back off if you’re not sure what she’s actually thinking.
Don’t take it personally and don’t try to force her into saying she likes you back or anything if she doesn’t feel comfortable saying that at the moment because it might make her feel pressured and uncomfortable.
And also keep in mind:
Don’t make her in a rebound relationship because she’s vulnerable and might agree to it because she feels like she doesn’t have a choice.
If you do that, then you’re an insecure, emotionless jerk and should feel bad about yourself for not respecting her feelings. She deserves better than this so don’t force yourself on her if you’re not 100% sure that it’s what she wants.
9) She’s just not that into you and doesn’t want to lead you on
This is, of course, the worst part about asking for time. She might just not like you back and doesn’t want to lead you on.
Sometimes you remember all of the good things that happened between you in the past and all of the good things that could happen in the future, but she doesn’t see it the same way.
If this is the case, sorry bro.
The way to get over this is to accept that you’re not going to get the answer you want, but instead of feeling hurt or discouraged, just ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”
Here are some things you should consider:
You’re a cool guy and girls like that. So instinctively put your value first. If she doesn’t like you back, it’s because her emotions aren’t in line with her reasoning and that means she can’t see beyond herself at the moment.
You just need to be patient and wait for the right girl to come along eventually.
In the meantime, ask yourself if you’re going to wallow in self-pity or let it motivate you to be a better man and improve yourself.
It’s always easy to take a bad situation and let it make you bitter or resentful, but don’t do that. Instead, try to see what good can come from this.
10) She’s not sure if she sees you as a friend or as more
Maybe you both go out or are friends, but she’s not quite sure if you’re looking for a relationship.
Here’s the thing:
Many guys have the wrong idea about what girls want from a relationship and think that she wants more than she actually does.
Of course, it’s natural to want to be in love, but what she really wants is just some fun and comfort. She just doesn’t want anything serious right now.
So if you give her the impression that you’re looking for something more serious than what you actually are, then she’ll most likely not feel comfortable opening up to you.
If you’re not sure if you’re friends with a girl, ask her if she wants more than that. She might just say yes and then if you don’t want something serious then it’s best to just give her the impression that it’s more casual than what it is.
11) She’s just looking for a date
Another thing it might mean when a girl says she needs time to think about or needs to focus on herself is that she’s looking for a date.
This isn’t bad at all and in fact, it’s completely normal.
She might just be looking for a nice guy to spend her time with.
You should think about how you can attract more women and make yourself more attractive to them so you can get a girlfriend.
Just hang out with some more women and get their perspective on what it takes to attract a girl who has the kind of qualities that you’re looking for in a girlfriend.
12) She might be a lesbian
This is not uncommon in the world today and girls are opening up more to being comfortable with who they are and having open relationships with other girls.
So sometimes what a girl says when she needs time to think means that she’s just waiting for the right moment to speak with you again.
You should respect her wishes and give her the time that she needs.
This is a sensitive issue and you shouldn’t judge or make fun of anybody who’s different from you.
There’s nothing wrong with being gay so if she wants time to think about it, then give her time. Of course, you may have to deal with some awkwardness in your interaction like making sure not to put too much pressure on her if you’re still interested after that because that could make things even worse.
13) She might have a crush on someone else
Sometimes a girl says she needs time to think about the future because she has a crush on someone else.
So if this is the case, then it means you need to just be patient and give her some time to see what happens.
If she doesn’t want to be with you but does want to hang out with you a little bit, that’s okay too because at least she wants to spend some more time with you even if it won’t be in a relationship.
Just try not to pressure her into being with you because that’ll just make things more awkward.
But wait, there’s more!
This is also your chance to show her just how awesome you are and how cool being with you would be than being with another guy.
By doing this, she might just realize that you are the better guy and that’s why she’ll eventually choose you in the end.
14) She knows the relationship is going nowhere
I know it might feel scary when a girl says she needs time to think about if she wants to be with you.
But don’t lose your cool or get too frustrated because it means that the relationship isn’t going anywhere. She just needs some time to see how things will work out between the two of you.
So here are some ways to prove yourself to her:
- Tell her you don’t want to rush into it and that you just want to see what happens.
- Be optimistic and stay healthy so that if she does end up being with you, she’s attracted to you.
- Set small goals for yourself every day, but try not to take them too seriously. It’s best if you don’t set any expectations because that way, there will be no disappointment if things don’t work out between the two of you.
- Practice emotional maturity so that you don’t need her too much and can enjoy her presence even if nothing happens.
So this has been what it means when a girl says she needs time to think about something.
Hopefully, you will be able to understand what this means and how to relate to her better so that you can get her back in your life.
Just remember that it’s normal to need time to think about things, just like it’s normal for you and other people to need time to think about things in your life.
Therefore, just don’t take things personally if the situation gets awkward because she’s not hurting you on purpose.
Instead, just keep being yourself because, in the end, that’s what will make you more attractive to women in the long run.