10 things it means when a guy says he wants to have a baby with you (and how to respond)

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Sure, it might seem flattering when a guy tells you he wants to have a baby with you — but is he really serious, or just joking around? 

It can be hard to tell. 

So we’re breaking down several things that it may mean when a guy says this and how to respond.

1) He is likely looking for a long-term relationship

In general, this is a good sign. 

When you’re searching for someone to share your life with, it makes a lot of sense to want to start by sharing the important things. 

And kids are definitely one of those things. 

It’s no surprise that most guys try to start out as serious about this as possible — and do so well before the hormones start kicking in

If you have dated for a while, then he has likely gotten a good sense of your family values. 

He’s gotten to know your family, and you’ve gotten to know his. 

2) He is not afraid of commitment

Another meaning — and this is a good one — is that he’s not afraid to commit. 

Sure, marriage is a bigger commitment than having a baby. 

But if he’s talking about starting off with a baby and then seeing how things go from there, chances are that he’ll also be ready for an even bigger commitment down the line. 

Don’t worry: 

Most guys aren’t out to get you pregnant and bring home their bundle of joy (and then leave) if you two aren’t in a relationship

The most likely scenario is that he thinks you’re the one — and he wants to start by doing something big and audacious to show that he’s serious. 

It also means that you’re looking at someone who’s not scared of ruffling some feathers when it comes to dating. He’s been known to come right out and say what he wants. 

3) He likes kids and wants to be a father

This is a hard one to interpret because it really could go either way. 

He could be telling you that because he has no desire to become a father — or he could be telling you because he wants nothing more than to have kids. 

But the overall point is the same: 

He’s thinking a lot about becoming a parent. 

It’s something that he’s thinking about, and it’s something that may come back up again soon after this initial conversation. 

So don’t be too quick to close the door on this person. 

He’s likely thinking about it, and he won’t be shy about saying so again once you’ve had some time to think about it. 

4) He wants to settle down with you and start a family together

As we just mentioned, the most common point of this statement is that he’s looking for a long-term relationship. 

There are tons of guys out there who want to get married and raise families. 

This is something that you should take into account when considering whether or not you want to be with him. 

His age probably isn’t a good indicator as to whether or not he wants to have kids. 

If he’s young, he could just be looking for someone to have some fun with before settling down. 

But if he’s older, chances are good that he wants a family and is thinking about you as the one. 

However, you also can dig deeper into his personality. 

If he’s the type of person who goes out and gets what he wants, then you can be sure that he would take on fatherhood with the same gusto.

5) He sees you as a potential wife

When a guy says that he wants to have a baby with you, he could mean a number of things. 

But in general, it’s better to see it as a compliment. 

If you think about the reason why he said it, then chances are good that he is thinking about you as someone who would make a great wife

He views you in that context and believes that having children is the next step for both of you. 

However, that’s not to say that the context is always positive. 

He could be assuming that you’d be a good mother because he sees you as some lady who is up for anything. 

It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with him wanting to settle down with you. 

So keep in mind that the exact meaning of his comment will come down to his tone and how he said it. 

6) He is a one-night guy

According to some, the only reason for a guy to say something like this — especially if you’ve only been on a few dates — is that he’s basically hoping to get into your pants

He’s hoping to have a fling with you and then have his child without having any of the other responsibilities. 

But you might be surprised to know that that isn’t always the case. 

Sometimes guys who say things like this are just telling you that they can’t get enough of you. 

They’re seeing all of your great qualities, and they’re hoping to date you more in the future.

And chances are good that once things get off and running, he would commit to having a child with you.

7) He likes the idea of being a male role model

A guy who says this is likely thinking that fatherhood is an important job. 

He’s looking at it as a chance to be a male role model and give his kid the best possible start in life. 

You can tell this by the fact that he’s using phrases like “having your baby” and “creating something special.” 

It implies that he’s talking about more than just having a child together — he’s talking about raising that child together as well. 

He’s thinking about the bigger picture: 

The more he talks about it, the more he wants to be involved. 

He’s not looking for just a fling with you — he wants to get in deep and keep things going for a long time. 

So don’t think this is just a one-dimensional comment: 

It’s coming from someone who is focused on the future, and that’s a great sign.

8) He is getting more serious about you

This is something that many folks overlook, especially when they say things like this to you. 

But the fact is that guys who say things like this are getting more serious about you

It’s usually because they’ve taken notice of your history and how you interact with other people as well. 

He’s talking about how great you are — and he’s looking for more than just a fling.

He’s looking to make things serious, and he knows that having a kid with you is part of that. 

But it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to have a child together.

He could also be saying it because he wants to grow old with you, or because he wants to put down roots with you. 

Whatever the case might be, it goes back to his desire for commitment and wanting to settle down. 

9) He is looking for a soulmate

OK, I know what you’re thinking: “Soulmate? How cheesy can you get? This guy is probably just playing me.” 

And while it might seem like he’s just playing you, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t listen to the words he’s saying. 

He might be using some cheesy pickup lines, but his heart is in the right place when he says things like this. 

And his heart is in the right place because he’s looking for a soulmate, and he believes that you’re that person. 

He’s hoping that you’ll be the one to match up with him.

And although you might not care — his intentions might not be sincere — it’s still a good idea to listen to what he has to say. 

It may very well be genuine, and it could lead to something amazing down the road. 

10) He is ready to accept responsibility

The phrase “having your baby” is typically used when a guy is ready to take on some responsibilities. 

He’s looking at it as a chance to show that he’s willing to do what’s right and make something of himself in the process. 

He wants to have a child, but he thinks that it’s also important that he be a father and a provider. 

He wants to show his little one that he’s somebody to look up to. 

But keep in mind that just because he says it doesn’t necessarily mean that he means it. 

So it’s best not to get excited about this too quickly, as the guy could be stringing you along. 

If you’re attracted to him, then you can dig a little deeper and figure out whether or not his comments are just hot air.

How to respond when a guy says he wants to have a baby with you 

You know that the guy wants to have a kid with you, but you don’t know exactly how to respond. 

He said it in a way that sounds nice, but it could be nothing else than an empty compliment. 

Then try 7 ways below to figure out:

Get clarification

When a guy says that he wants to have a child with you, it’s important to clarify the meaning of his comments. 

He could be using the phrase in an abstract sense and not really be serious. 

Or he could be being more direct and hoping to get serious about you and having a kid soon. 

So it’s important to know what he means by using this phrase, and the best way to do that is to ask him. 

If you want, you can also mention that you like hearing it — but don’t push him into saying it if he doesn’t want to. 

The most important thing is that the two of you are on the same page

Consider your stage in life (maybe you’re not ready to be a mom)

Maybe he’s really into the idea of having a child with you, but it’s not the right time for you. 

Maybe you’re still getting your degree, or maybe you’re still trying to figure out what you want to do in life. 

It could be that even though you really like him, he might not be the right person for you. 

While it doesn’t always work out that way — sometimes things are just meant to be — it’s important to think about your stage in life.

Don’t be afraid to say that you’re not sure about his idea, and don’t be afraid to ask him if he’s okay with waiting.

Because having a baby is not a decision that you can take lightly, and you’re going to have to wait until you’re ready.

And sometimes, if your life isn’t in order, it can be best to take a break until it is.

Acknowledge his feelings

While you might not be ready, you don’t have to shut the guy down entirely. 

You can acknowledge his feelings and how much he wants to have a kid with you, even though you’re not ready yet. 

You’re still dating, so you can let him know that he’s a great guy but that you’re still in the process of figuring things out. 

It’ll help him see that you appreciate his feelings for you and that he’s on your radar.

And at the same time, you’re not going to hurt his feelings or lead him on — it’s important that you manage his expectations.

Try to work out a compromise

While you might not be ready for a child, you could try to work out a compromise in which both of your needs are met. 

If the two of you agree to wait until you’re more financially secure, then it may be the best time to have a baby. 

It might also help if he’s willing to go at your pace and have a kid with you when the timing is right. 

But if you two can’t reach a compromise, then it may be best to go your separate ways. 

The last thing you want is to rush into something that’s not right for you — and even though he seems like a nice guy, he might not be right for you. 

Sometimes, it’s best to just end it before things get complicated.

Give him space to think

Just because he’s open to having a baby with you doesn’t mean that it’s the right time for you. 

Being with him can take some pressure off and help you focus on your own goals, which is better for you in the long run. 

So give him space to think by distracting him with work or school or other interests

Don’t try to be too pushy, though — remember that it’s not always about what he wants, but what YOU want. 

Don’t give negative feedback

Think about this for a moment: 

If a guy says that he wants to have a child, it’s because that’s all he thinks about. 

He might be stuck on it because he sees you as the woman of his dreams, or maybe he’s looking for someone who can take care of him. 

Either way, the guy is trying to make himself happy. So instead of giving negative feedback, give him positive feedback. 

Try to focus on the fact that he wants to be a father — not just a partner. 

It’s important that you don’t say something like “I don’t want kids” or “I’m not ready” — you’ll only stir up his emotions and do more harm than good. 

Instead, try to be as supportive as possible, and give him positive feedback whenever you have the chance. 

Respect his decision

Once he says he wants to have a kid, it’s best to respect his decision. 

But it’s also important that you don’t forget about the fact that you yourself want children. 

You might not be ready yet, but you don’t have to stop dating this guy because of it. 

So listen carefully to what he has to say and do your best to show him respect — even if his decisions aren’t yours. 

Final thoughts

We have covered 10 things it means when a guy says he wants to have a baby with you as well as how to respond when you hear it. 

We hope that you can use this information to give a positive spin to the phrase. 

And remember, every guy is different, so don’t be afraid to experiment with a few of these ideas before settling on one that works for both of you. 

You don’t want to be too pushy for fear of hurting his feelings.

You don’t want to give him negative feedback because it’s going to only make things worse.

So do your best to manage his expectations by taking it slow, listening carefully, and respecting his decision — no matter how crazy you think it is.