What it means when a guy keeps asking what you are doing (and how to respond)

“He won’t stop asking me what I’m doing.”

If this has ever happened to you, it’s likely not just a one-time thing. 

It might seem like he’s just trying to be polite and care about what you’re up to, but if it happens every day, there might be an underlying reason for why he’s asking. 

Here are 12 things it means when a guy keeps asking what you are doing.

1) He is trying to figure out if you’re into him before trying his luck

If he repeatedly asks about what you’re doing, he might be trying to figure out if you are interested.

He’s not just trying to be polite, it might just be that he’s hoping to make a connection before asking for more.

And that can be a polite way of saying “Hey, I’m into you, but I don’t want to scare you off.” 

You can pay attention to his messages or physical contact and see if he seems to be more try-hard or more relaxed. 

If you notice he’s trying too hard, it might be a sign that he just needs some reassurance that you’re interested before asking for a date.

2) He’s bored and doesn’t have anything better to do

Have you wondered why he’s asking you what you are up to every day, even though it’s obvious that you’re just sitting at home?

He might be trying to have a conversation with someone because he’s bored and doesn’t have anything better to do. 

So even though he knows that you’re not busy, he’ll still ask the same question just because he is hoping to get a response. 

I know what you’re thinking:

“Why can’t he just find something to do instead of bothering me?”

But remember, men are simple creatures and when they’re bored, they’ll be more likely to ask girls out because it gives them something to do. 

3) He’s a player and is interested in dating as many girls as possible

He’s not just trying to be polite and caring, it might be a sign that he’s a bit of a player and is interested in dating as many girls as possible.

Instead of trying to figure out if you’re into him, he’ll go for the easy way out by asking you what you’re up to before making his move.

So to save you from falling into his trap, here are several signs that indicate he is a player and wants to date as many girls as possible.

– He never spends time with you alone

– He doesn’t initiate any physical contact with you.

– He rarely calls or texts you.

– He has a bunch of female friends who hang around him.

– He’s the only male in his group of friends.

4) He’s just being polite

He might have asked you politely because he doesn’t want to come off as rude.

There are still many old-fashioned men who believe in being polite to women and treating them with respect, so asking you what you are up to can be a common sign of politeness.

But don’t let that fool you. 

He might be just trying to be polite, but if his question is coming off as a bit too “nice” like he’s a bit too sensitive, it might be a red flag.

5) He might have feelings for you, but he is afraid of getting hurt again

Think about this for a moment:

Is this guy afraid of getting hurt again or does he just want to play it safe?

He might have feelings for you, but he’s afraid of getting hurt and doesn’t want to try.

So instead of being brave and asking you out, he’ll try his luck by first asking about what you’re up to.

He knows if you’re trying to find a new man, it’s much easier for him to get lucky because then you’ll at least give him a chance. 

You can also dig deeper into his past relationships and find out if he has been hurt before.

If he has been hurt, it might be why he is afraid of getting heartbroken again. 

Don’t forget, men also have feelings, so pay attention to what he says and how he speaks and you’ll be able to tell if his question is coming off as a bit too much like “I’m shy and I’m afraid of getting hurt again.”

6) He is a social reject who doesn’t know how to approach people

Another reason why he might be asking you what you’re doing is that he doesn’t know how to approach people.

He might feel like an outcast and be rejected by his own friends and family, so this is why he’s trying to make a connection with you.

If this guy won’t stop asking about what you’re up to, it might be that he is just a typical social reject who doesn’t have any friends or anyone who likes him. 

Instead of going for a big risk and asking you out, he’ll instead first try to make a connection with you by asking about what you’re doing. 

7) He is needy and clingy

Trust me, hearing those questions all day long can be annoying, but if his questions are coming off as too clingy and needy, it might be because he needs some affection.

You can also look for signs that he is needy and clingy like constantly texting you or calling you, but not doing what you ask him to do.

If you’re noticing this behavior from him, it might be because he really cares about you, but needs some affection in return.

For example, he keeps asking you what you’re up to and starts to get worried and starts to text you, but then you don’t text back because you are busy.

So he texts you again asking what’s wrong and the cycle continues. 

Again, I know it can be annoying, but if he is not acting like a jerk or being pushy, it might be that he is just needy and looking for some affection.

8) He’s not into commitment and is looking for a fling

He might have asked you what you’re doing because he doesn’t want a girlfriend who will get restless and want to be with him all the time.

He wants a fling, but not a relationship.

So instead of working on your relationship, he’ll just ask about what you’re up to every day because he’s trying to avoid commitment and not take it too slow so that he can play around more.

You should also notice if his behavior is normal or if it’s unusual for him.

If he is normally very talkative, lovey-dovey, and sweet, but after asking you out on a date, suddenly starts to act like a jerk or starts to come off as pushy or weird, it might be that he’s not into commitment and is just looking for a fling.

9) It’s his defense mechanism when it comes to responding to women who don’t want his attention 

Maybe you have ignored him in real life because you didn’t like him or because you don’t even know him or don’t have anything in common with him.

So what does he do?

The obvious thing is that he’ll try to get you to like him. 

He’ll try to make you like him by asking you what you’re up to every day because he’s trying to be friendly, but also avoid getting rejected in real life.

He might also assume that you’re thinking about him because you didn’t text back, so he’ll think that maybe you’re interested in him and then he’ll try to get your attention.

If he keeps asking about what you’re up to even after trying to get your attention, it might be because he doesn’t get rejected easily and just wants to keep trying. 

He might think that if he asks enough times, you will respond and he’ll ask if you want to hang out with him.

10) He needs help with something 

Remember:

He can’t just ask you to help him directly, so he’ll try to make sure you help him by asking about what you’re up to. 

If a guy asks about what you’re doing or what your plans are, he might be asking because he needs some help. 

Don’t get too ahead of yourself and assume that the guy is just trying to figure out a way to get his hands on your body.

Instead of assuming the worst, keep your guard up and pay attention to what he says.

11) He’s trying to lead you on

This might be a red flag if it seems like he is trying to keep you around because he wants something in return.

Is he really asking about what you’re up to or just being nice? 

If you have noticed that his questions are starting to get a bit cheesy and weird, it might just mean that he is trying to lead you on. 

Again, don’t forget that men have feelings too.

Just because you might see him as a jerk, that doesn’t mean he’s a jerk.

He might be shy and afraid of getting hurt again or he might feel like an outcast and wants to make a connection with you. 

12) He’s showing you that he wants to take things slow

Rather than asking you for a date, he might want to go for the “we’ll see where it goes” route.

This kind of guy usually is afraid of commitment and isn’t used to going very slow in dating. 

He knows that if he asks you out on a date, he’ll risk getting rejected and then have to deal with the emotions of rejection. 

So instead of getting rejected by you, he’ll just go for the “we’ll see where it goes” route.

But it’s also a good sign because he considers as his potential partner and he doesn’t want to screw it up by asking you out on a date.

How to respond when a guy keeps asking what you are doing?

If you’ve ever wondered how to respond to a guy who keeps asking what you are doing, here are 10 ways to respond:

1) Be mysterious 

If you’re not interested in him, don’t be so nice. 

Instead of answering his question, give him a mysterious response because he’ll also want to keep trying to get your attention.

You can also be polite and say something like, “I’m not ready to tell you yet”, “I still don’t even know you yet,” or “I’m too tired to think about that right now.”

Don’t be so upfront and just try to give him a playful response.

2) Be honest and tell him how you feel 

No matter how much you’d like to see him again, if he’s breaking your heart or driving you nuts, tell him exactly what you feel.

Just be as honest and as direct with him as possible. 

You can even be blunt and tell him that you haven’t been feeling good because he’s been asking about your plans every day.

It’s better to be honest and to let him know that you’ve been upset about his actions rather than just being nice and keeping it a secret.

3) Use reverse psychology on him

Based on what your gut is telling you, you can also try using reverse psychology and see if he reacts that way.

Here’s an example of using reverse psychology:

If you’ve noticed that he has been ignoring you, try using reverse psychology and send him a text saying:

“Hey, I think I’m falling in love with you” or “I want to be with you forever”. 

If he has been giving you the cold shoulder, it might be that he’s trying to avoid commitment, but if his actions are starting to get a bit more friendly, it might mean that he’s interested in seeing you again.

This way you can also test if whatever you’re doing is working and get a better understanding of his feelings towards you.

But be careful when you’re using reverse psychology to test his feelings because he might think that you’re already into him and then things could become awkward later on.

4) Play hard to get

Another way to respond is to play hard to get and act like you’re not interested in being nice to him.

If you’ve already told him that you’re not ready to tell him what your plans are, or if he keeps asking about what your plans are, then just ignore his question.

Don’t try to make up some story. 

Just ignore it completely and pay attention to the conversation. 

By ignoring him, you’re letting him know that you don’t want to talk to him, but not being so blunt that it gets awkward or that you get offended. 

5) Just be casual and don’t let it bother you

You can just be casual and don’t let it bother you if he keeps asking about what you’re doing.

It might be awkward if he keeps asking you what you’re doing all the time, but try to keep it casual and simple.

You can start off by saying “I have plans” or “I don’t have enough time to talk right now”. 

If he keeps pushing, just say that you’ll message him later and that you still need some time. The key is to still be nice and not say something rude or offensive.

Try to stay on the positive side and just say that you don’t have time right now. 

In the end, if you’ve tried all these ways of responding to a guy who keeps asking what you’re doing, and he still doesn’t get the hint, then it might be time to take a break from him.

6) Give him a chance if you like him 

Maybe you can tell that he’s really into you, but you can tell that he’s afraid of commitment or he’s afraid of getting hurt. 

In that case, just give him a chance and try to be confident in the relationship. 

If you still like him, then it might be worth giving it a go and seeing where things go. Just make sure that you do yourself a favor and aren’t going to regret it later.

7) Let him down gently

If you feel like things aren’t working out and that you need a break from him, then just let him down gently.

Just tell him that you need some space and that you’re feeling a bit worn out. 

Make sure to be honest with him and let him know how you feel. 

It might be hard to do, but it’s better than being with someone who is emotionally draining or emotionally unstable.

8) Get clarification about his intentions

Do you feel like he likes you, but he’s also trying to be casual about it? 

In that case, you might want to get some clarification about his intentions

Maybe he’s just trying to get a drink with you so that he can ask for your phone number or maybe it’s a different kind of date. 

Or maybe he wants to hang out with you, but he’s just not sure if he can ask you out on a date.

You may need clarification on his intentions so that you can decide whether or not this is going anywhere. 

Here’s the step-by-step process to help you get a better understanding of his intentions:

– Ask him how he feels about you.

– Ask him why he’s trying to be so casual about the two of you.

– Ask him if it’s a date and then try to clarify with him exactly what that means. 

– Let him know that you’re also feeling a bit insecure about the relationship and ask him to be clear about what he wants from the two of you.

If all else fails, then just tell him that you’re not ready for a relationship right now. And if he seems like he’s really into you, then it might be worth giving it a shot. 

Just make sure that if you can tell that he’s trying not to get too serious. Be honest with him and let him know how you feel.

9) Be patient

Sometimes it’s not the right time to respond to someone or to give a relationship a chance. 

Maybe you’re in the middle of an intense situation and things are going too fast and you just need some space. 

In that case, be patient and see what happens in the future. You might just need some time to recharge your batteries before you can let someone into your life again.

And you need to give him time to figure out if you’re the right person for him to be in a relationship with.

He might have been pushing for a relationship because he likes you, but if he hasn’t been asking you out on a date or anything like that, then give him some time.

10) Set clear boundaries

One of the effective ways to respond to a guy who keeps asking what you’re doing is to set clear boundaries

If he seems to be pushing for more than you’re willing to give, then just say that you like him and that you want him in your life, but not in a romantic way. 

It’s better to communicate this way than to get too emotional and end up in a relationship that you didn’t want. 

Plus, if his feelings are starting to run deep, then he’ll realize that you’re not ready for anything serious.

Final thoughts

We have covered a couple of different meanings and methods on how to respond to a guy who keeps asking you out. 

Some of them might seem like they’re not very good, but there are some hidden gems in there. 

Even though it’s not always easy, you can still be nice, understanding, and honest with someone who likes you.

All of these examples show that under the right circumstance, you can still be kind and helpful even if your intentions aren’t that clear. 

Overall, what we’re saying is always be kind and honest. It’s better to be honest with a guy you like than to let him figure out that he’s not being real. 

And more than anything, remember that it’s never the wrong time to take a break from someone or cut it off if you’re not into them anymore.