What to do when he says he cares about you but you don’t believe him: 15 important tips

You may have sensed that there is something not right in your relationship. 

You might even know what it is. 

But, if you are not ready to end the relationship and your partner keeps insisting that he cares about you.

There are 15 important tips to do when he says he cares about you but you don’t believe him.

1) Don’t act needy

When your partner says that he cares about you, do not overreact. 

Do not start acting all needy. 

He might be saying this to win you back or to get something from you. So just trust this person and only believe him when he acts in a manner that matches his words. 

So why?

He might be saying this simply to say what he did not say before. 

Or, he might have not told his “real” feelings to you because he knew that they will not be accepted or endorsed. 

If you keep acting the way that your partner wants you to, then he will keep doing the same thing and you won’t find out what is really in his heart. 

You never keep something from him because it shows you act needy. 

Don’t keep the things that he says from him. 

If you do so, then he will not feel that you care about him. 

And that will make your relationship even worse than it is today. 

2) Don’t compare

Do not compare him with other people including his friends. 

It will only make your relationship worse. If he says he cares about you, believe him . 

I know your feeling is that he is not good for you or someone likes him. 

So you are trying to push the unwanted person away through comparison and saying that the person who is liked by your partner is better than you. 

Trust me:

It will only make things worse for you. 

Your feelings are stronger than your mind and trust me that the person who is liked by him is not a good person. 

He might have been there for you every single time when you needed him. 

And that is what he will continue doing as a friend. 

The best way to know whether he loves you or not is when his friends start saying that he loves you so much and when they are talking bad about you behind your back. 

When he stops being nice to you and being on the same page with you. 

That means that he has lost your love and the only way he can get it back is by getting back with his ex. 

If he starts being with you, then forget all your friends because they stopped caring about you. 

3) Don’t ask too much

You may not want to hurt his feelings or who knows he might get angry if you are not taken care of properly although you don’t really mean that. 

You may just want to test him but the truth is something else. 

The point here is:

  • Ask things that you really want to know and don’t ask too much. 

Because if you force him to find answers for questions that he is not sure about, he might lie to you. 

And then you will have no trust in him again. 

To make your relationship better, just ask the questions that are vital for the relationship like how much your partner loves you and if he can ever stop loving you. 

Wanna know more:

While this article explores the main tips when he says he cares about you but you don’t believe him, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next. 

I’ve always been sceptical about getting outside help, until I actually tried it out. 

Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like tips when he says he cares about you but you don’t believe him.

Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions. 

My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

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4) Don’t force him to do something he doesn’t like or have time for

If he says that he loves you, then try not to force him to do things that he doesn’t like or have time for.

He might be saying this to get something from you or because he is simply trying to tell you that he cares about you. 

So don’t force him to do things that are not in his interests and wants. 

That will only increase the distance between you and him. 

You may also end up acting like a boss which will make him feel even more like a slave than he is right now.

And if you are causing him to feel like a slave then I suggest that you get yourself a job and start thinking about him doing things for you. 

A word of advice:

Don’t make him feel forced

Your relationship ended because of your own actions. 

It was not like he pushed you out of his life. 

So when he tells you that he cares about you, do not make him feel forced to do things in the relationship. 

You have to live your life for yourself and he has to live his life for himself. 

5) Don’t dream about him too much

You may think that you can make him love you again if you will keep thinking about what he did in the past. 

Let’s face it:

Your past won’t come back although it can be brought up in your daily conversations.

But only if one of you brings it up or really needs to know something specific regarding the same.

We all have a past, we can’t run from it. 

If he “was” a person who loved you, then why do you want to change it with the fact that he doesn’t anymore? 

It’s not like you imagined him to love you again because one time he did. 

You have to accept the truth and move on with your life. 

Remember that time is the biggest healer

If he doesn’t love you then there is a reason for that. 

And that reason has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. 

So just live your life, understand the truth and try not to dream about him too much. 

6) Don’t lie to him

If he says that he loves you, then don’t lie to him. 

So many people lie to their partners because they want them to get something from them in return.

That makes their partners feel that they truly care about them. 

But if you want your partner to change his mind, then be honest with him.

The fact is:

  • Lying is not the right thing to do in any relationship.
  • Trust is something that takes time to build-up.
  • Breaking it will take a lot of work to get it back again. 

If you don’t be honest with him, you will lose the respect and trust he has on you.

So just tell him what you really want from him.

If you tell the truth, then the whole situation becomes totally different. 

You don’t need to lie because he already knows that you love him anyways. 

Be yourself with your actions, words, and feelings.

It will be helpful for both of you and it will definitely make your relationship better. 

7) Don’t beg or demand things from him

If he is saying that he cares about you, then don’t beg him to not leave you because he will leave anyway. 

And do not ask him to change his ways or start loving you again because he will not change. 

If you continue to do that, then you will end up acting like a person who has lost all her self-respect and is ready to beg him to come back. 

If he is not willing to change, that means that he doesn’t have the same feelings as you have for him. 

So what does it mean?

If he really cared about you or if he loved you, then he wouldn’t leave in the first place. 

So don’t beg him or demand things from him because it will only make it worse. 

You may be thinking that your actions are making him see the truth and realize his mistakes. 

But trust me, if he doesn’t love you, then all your begging will only make you feel bad in the long run. 

8) Don’t blame him when things fail between you two again

You should know by now that a relationship between two people is not created in a day. 

It takes a lot of time, effort and feelings. 

And all of these actions are taken by you two, not just him. 

That’s why you should stop blaming him when things don’t go as planned or sometimes when they do. 

If he says that he loves you, then there is something else happening between the two of you. 

Not because he doesn’t want to be with you or doesn’t love you anymore.

But sometimes because that person is your friend and not your boyfriend.

So if you say those things to him, he will feel confused. 

And if he is confused about your feelings for him, then things won’t get better between you two.

You should remember that both of you are responsible for the relationship and that he doesn’t need to prove anything to you. 

You also shouldn’t say negative things like “you don’t love me anymore” or “you’re just with me because I am your friend” because it will always make matters worse.

You may be thinking that you are making him realize his mistakes so that he comes back to you. 

9) Don’t consider him your friend-only if he doesn’t want to be with you

Don’t consider him your friend if he doesn’t want to be with you because it will put a lot of pressure on both of you.

If you are constantly thinking about him and he is not willing to love you, then that’s unfair for both of you.

You will definitely feel trapped and that he wants to ruin your life. 

And if he feels trapped by his emotions towards you, then things won’t get better. 

The relationship at this point will start fading away and it’s the most difficult stage in the whole process. 

But there is a way out of this situation but it won’t be easy…

Just think about it as a friendship or a sign that you are better off with someone else who truly loves you and wants to be with you.

If he says that he loves you, then there is a reason for that. 

And that reason has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. 

So just live your life, understand the truth and try not to dream about him too much.

10) Don’t let him change your attitude towards yourself

If he says that he loves you and wants to be with you, then don’t change your attitude towards yourself because of him. 

You are a beautiful, smart and loyal person. 

And why would someone who loves you change that? 

No one would want to lose someone who cares about them and treats them well..

He just likes you because you are different from other girls..

Don’t change this about yourself because of him. 

You need to keep your values and beliefs in order to keep your self-respect and make it better. 

If he doesn’t like that then don’t worry, there is someone else who will love you as much as he does! 

11) Give him the space to find himself

If he is saying that he loves you, then stop trying to make him love you. 

Just give him his space because he needs it. 

He needs to figure out who he is and what he wants. 

And if he really cares about you, then don’t get in there and change things in his life. 

Give him time to find out who he is and what’s important for him. 

Also never take things from him to make him feel better. 

Just let him breathe and figure things out on his own because he needs it.

If he is saying that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, then don’t make him feel bad about it like you are the one who doesn’t care about him. 

Because that’s not true. 

You are having a tough time but you are coping with it because you care about him and what’s better for both of you.

So don’t make him feel like all your love is gone because that’s not true.

12) Don’t go through all this drama for nothing

If he says that he loves you, then don’t go through all this drama to make him love you or stay with you. 

Just leave things as they are because you have done enough. 

You have done whatever possible to make your relationship better..

And at some point, it was not meant to be, it was never meant to be. 

And you know that so just accept that and leave things as they are. 

But if he says that he wants to be with you and love you, then do it and be happy! 

Love can change a lot of things in a relationship, so give it a try! 

And if you love him then you know that he loves you.

13) Don’t make him feel bad about himself

If he says that he can’t live without you, then don’t make him feel like a loser. 

Because that’s not true. 

And if for some reason, he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, then let him go and move on. 

Because it was never meant to be between the two of you. 

And, also, if he says that he loves you, then there is nothing more to say about it. 

You should stop thinking about what you could have done in your relationship with him to make things better because there are always two sides of a coin. 

You should know by now that it’s not possible for both of you to be happy all the time and certain things just don’t work out between the two of you.

And you can’t change it and he can’t change it so just accept things the way they are.

14) Don’t turn your life upside down for the sake of love

It is not worth it!

If he says that he loves you, then there is a good chance that you love him too but this doesn’t mean that your love is worth it.

Because even if he doesn’t love you anymore, then you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Love only gives you a reason to create drama, so don’t let it get to you.

Instead, turn off your feelings for him and try to forget about him because the more you keep thinking about him, the more pain and suffering you will experience in return.

And if he says that he loves you, then don’t compromise your self-respect for him.

When you love someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to do everything for them even if they don’t like it.

And if he says that he wants to be with you and wants to make things better between the two of you, then just try and let him be. 

Because you shouldn’t give up on love just because of a small betrayal from your loved one. 

You have to keep faith in love at all times, because it’s the only thing that can make us better.

15) Don’t worry about him

If he says that he loves you, then there is a good chance that he does, and even if he doesn’t you should be okay with it because of the things he has done for you. 

He knows how much you love him and how much you care about him. 

And if he is not willing to compromise for love and your happiness, then you should be okay with that. 

Because there are better things in life than just one love. 

In fact, there are several loves out there and you can find it if you want.. 

Just stop thinking about him and move on!

Final thoughts 

We all know that there are many guys out there who would say the words to their girlfriend or wife, but will they do the same thing to you? 

Sometimes they do mean everything that they are saying. 

But sometimes they don’t and just want to feel better about themselves. 

So if you are reading this and feel that the guy you are in love with is saying this to you, then stop worrying. 

Just don’t take it personally and hug him on the side for once before he runs away from your life forever. 

Because there is always someone who will take his place. 

And I know that all of us would want to be with our boyfriends or husbands forever.