There are many different ways people can hide their true feelings, and one of them is over text.
So how do you tell if someone likes you but is hiding it over text?
While there’s no foolproof way to figure out whether or not someone genuinely feels for you, there are 17 things you can look for.
1) They let you initiate the first contact in the first few days after you stop talking
OK, I know what you’re thinking:
“Isn’t this the opposite of what I should be looking for? Isn’t initiating contact the first sign that someone likes you?”
I get it. I really do. But hear me out.
There’s a reason behind this that many people never consider: They’re trying to hide how much they like you.
In the first few days after talking to someone new, they may be too nervous to initiate contact with you. That’s why they depend on you to do it first. That way, they won’t seem too forward or desperate when they start talking to them.
And that’s the point with this tip:
You need to make them look too forward and desperate in their first few days of talking about a specific topic (like seeing a movie) or asking for help on something (like asking if you want anything from the cafeteria).
If you do that enough times, then eventually, they’ll have no choice but to start initiating things themselves. They’ll have no choice but to stop hiding how much they like you behind the text. And chances are good that they’re totally into it!!
2) They find excuses to message you
It’s hard to hide your feelings for someone over text, but there are ways.
One of them is to find excuses to contact you without making it seem too obvious that they’re into you.
For example, they might text you to ask you a question and then continue talking long after the question is answered.
They might find excuses to message you like “Oh by the way, did I tell you about my sister’s wedding? Oh yeah, I guess I have to finish up this essay for class. I’ll talk to you later.”
It may sound unconvincing at times and a little dishonest. But sometimes that’s what it takes to make someone act like it’s not obvious that they’re into you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t bother doing all that stuff in the first place.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be with you; it just means that they don’t trust themselves enough yet. And until they do, they’re afraid of looking desperate or overeager.
3) Check their social media behavior
Oftentimes, the thing that makes most people act like they don’t want to be with you over text is because they’re scared of showing their true feelings to you over text.
This is the reason why they hide in person or behind social media like Facebook and Twitter; so that they won’t have to seem too eager and desperate if they do something clumsy or embarrassing because of how much they like you.
For example, say you’ve been talking to them for a few days over text and they haven’t made a single move. So you go to check their Facebook or Twitter to see if they’ve posted anything lately.
And guess what you find?
You might find that they’ve been posting a lot more than usual lately. Or maybe they have been posting strange content and behaving strangely recently. Or maybe you find something completely related to the topic of your conversation.
That’s because they’re so into you that they want to talk about it, but don’t want to come across as too forward when they do. That’s why they’ll only talk about it on social media.
4) They are very careful to make sure they do not misspell words or use grammar incorrectly when texting you
Now, this is something that some people overlook.
You may not notice it at first, but if someone really likes you then they will be very careful not to misspell words or use grammar incorrectly when texting you.
They’ll be very careful about what they say and watch the way that they say it. They’ll try to make sure that everything they do doesn’t seem too eager and desperate.
Sometimes, this could turn into an obsession where people become very self-conscious about their mistakes. They might want to correct each and every letter and use these little gestures to make sure everything is perfect.
5) Their conversations with you always feel very stilted and formal
You might be wondering:
“Why would someone who likes me be so formal with me?”
It might seem like a strange thing to ask yourself. But believe it or not, this is a very common reason why someone is trying so hard to look like they don’t like you over text.
When you talk to someone that you’re interested in, chances are that their conversation will seem very filled with foreshadowing and tension. They’ll want to appear perfect in front of you, so they might try to be formal and polite.
Sometimes, this is what it takes to make someone act like they’re not interested in you over text. Because if you ask them a personal question then they want them to sound like they’re not into the idea at all.
6) They constantly have excuses to not hang out
Another way to hide the fact that they’re into you is to constantly have excuses not to hang out with you.
“I don’t have time for that. I’m too busy.” Or “I can’t hang out because I’ve got plans.”
It sounds like an excuse, but it’s actually a good thing! They’re trying their best to hide their feelings. They don’t want to seem too forward, so they’ll frequently have excuses not to hang out.
But that’s not all of it. They’re also trying to build a wall around themselves:
Usually, this is because they don’t trust themselves that much yet. They want to make sure that they’re doing the right thing before they take the next step.
This can be a little frustrating.
But if you keep talking to them, then they’ll eventually let their guard down. They won’t have the strength to keep pushing you away like this.
7) Their behavior doesn’t match their words
This is an easy one to miss, but if someone likes you but doesn’t want you to know that they like you over text then they’ll probably be a lot more emotional and a lot less subtle than they normally are.
That’s because they’re trying their hardest to act cool and distant when they’re not feeling it. And that can make them seem like a completely different person in front of you than how they appear in front of other people.
It might seem a little shallow, but it’s the cold hard truth. When you’re trying to be something that you’re not, then you will have to act differently.
8) They take a lot of time to put together a response
Sometimes, someone who likes you will take a lot of time to put together a response.
It might even take them longer than it would take for most other people. And that’s because they’re being very careful about what they say. They’re trying their best not to seem too eager and needy or come across as too forward.
Pay attention to the amount of time that it takes for them to respond back. If the amount of time it takes for them to respond back seems abnormal, then they might be trying their best to act distant and uninterested in you over text.
But don’t worry, in most cases, this is just because they’re a little shy and they want to see if you’ll be willing to take the next step. If they do seem a little distant, then try to progress things along a bit faster by asking them questions or talking about the things they want to talk about.
9) They only contact you when it’s absolutely necessary
Maybe their intentions aren’t so pure? Maybe they’re trying to hide how much they like you?
Or maybe they’re just a little unorganized when it comes to texting?
The reason for this is simple:
They probably want things to progress as fast as possible. They don’t want things to drag on. They don’t want things to be too gradual. They don’t want anything to slow down the momentum.
So because they don’t want to set any expectations or build up any false hopes in you, they only contact you when it’s absolutely necessary.
But when things are going well for them, then that’s when their true intentions come out.
They want to show you how much they like you and how much they want to be with you by being your friend and spending time with you.
10) They go out of their way to make sure you know they are busy
Sometimes, the most obvious thing is to do something that makes you look incredibly busy over text.
That’s because a lot of people assume that if someone is interested in them, then they’ll always be free to hang out with them.
And when someone takes the time to let you know how busy they are, then it can make it seem like they’re not interested in you anymore.
But if you see that the person is always very busy, then you should probably take that into consideration. Because it might be a sign that they may not be interested in getting to know you.
11) They reply with more detail
When someone is trying to hide their true feelings, then they might need to add a lot of unnecessary and redundant detail.
Think about it:
They probably feel like the person they’re talking to won’t understand them if they seem too forward. So for this reason, they have to make sure that the person knows everything about them. They have to make sure that there aren’t any gaps in their knowledge of them.
But there’s no need to worry because it’s not always necessary for you to know everything about the person. You can just know enough to get by.
So when a person sends you more details than they probably would in real life, then it’s a good indication that they’re interested in you over text. Because that means that they want you to get to know them better and closer, which is exactly what you want!
12) Check for hidden meanings in their words
This is a little more advanced. But there’s a good chance that someone who likes you will drop some hints here and there especially when they’re trying to hide their feelings over text.
Now, they may be very subtle, so you might have to read between the lines. Or they might be more direct, so you can catch what they’re saying right away.
Either way, if you keep your eyes peeled for everything that they say to you over text then it shouldn’t be too hard for you to figure out their true intentions.
13) They constantly drop hints about other people they like
This is something that most people don’t bother to pick up on because they feel like it’s too obvious.
But if a person keeps mentioning that other people are attractive or attractive to them, then it’s a good sign that they’re trying their best not to make it obvious that they like you over text.
And if you see this over and over again, then you should definitely pay attention to the clues that they’re dropping about the other people. Because once you know what’s going on, then it all makes sense.
14) Check their behavior when you meet in person
They may hide their feelings over text but they can’t hide their feelings when they’re face-to-face with you.
So when you get a chance to meet up in person, pay attention to how they act towards you and if there’s anything that they do that makes it seem like they like you more than before the meetup.
Even if they’re trying not to show it, there’s a good chance that their feelings will come out over the course of your meetup.
Here are some signs that you should be on the lookout for when you meet in person:
- They show you signs of nervousness or anxiety.
- They show signs of excitement and energy when they’re around you.
- They look at you more than the other people around them. (They might even seem to be ignoring the other people that are with them.)
- They give you more compliments about yourself than they do to the other people near them.
15) Their vocabulary is strictly business; no nicknames or casual talk
Again, we may be jumping to conclusions here. But if you see that someone is being very formal every time they talk to you and they’re using buzzwords and other tech jargon, then it’s a clear sign that they’re never going to show their feelings for you over text.
This is because formal language is best for when people are in a serious mode. And the more formal their speech is, the better chance there is that these people are trying to hide how much they like you.
If you keep a close eye on their language, then you’ll see a pattern that you can use to figure out what’s really going on between them and you.
16) They are very careful to not use emojis and abbreviations when texting you
If a person is trying to hide their feelings, then they will definitely avoid certain words and symbols that could be read as emotional.
This is why when people are over text, they will only use words that have a specific meaning and avoid using any word anytime you try to chat with them.
This also goes for all of their past conversations about you, because if you do see any of those, then there’s a good chance that they’re trying not to show anything.
So if you do see that they are avoiding using certain words and symbols, then they might be hiding their feelings over text.
17) They ask clarifying questions to make sure you’ve understood them correctly
This is probably the best tip for figuring out if someone’s hiding their true feelings over text.
This is because when someone cares about you, they will often ask you if you understand what they’re saying. They don’t want to come off as being too blunt by telling you what they mean.
So for this reason, a person who likes you might ask you if you understand what they’re saying or if there’s anything that they want to clarify.
They do this because they don’t want to come off as being too direct or mean. And they want to make sure that they’re not being misunderstood. So it seems like the best option is to be vaguer and let the person understand them better.
Hopefully, you’re now able to figure out whether or not someone’s hiding their feelings over text.
Trust us; it’s not as hard as it seems because you won’t be the first person who’s tried to figure out if the person they like likes them back. Many people have done this before and they’ve gotten the results that they wanted.
Now it’s your turn to give these tips a shot and see if you can get what you want!