17 warning signs your husband doesn’t value you

Do you feel like there’s something off with your husband? Is he so self-absorbed and uninterested in you, his wife, that he might not even value you as a person? 

Become aware of the things that aren’t adding up in your marriage and see if any red flags are popping up. 

Sometimes, it takes two people to make it work or one person genuinely wanting to keep things stable for the sake of their child or family member who depends on them. 

Let’s dive into 17 warning signs your husband doesn’t value you.

1) He doesn’t appreciate your opinion.

It’s inevitable that people will have different opinions in a relationship since a relationship is established between two people who are not identical. 

Your partner is not going to always appreciate your thoughts and feelings. It’s natural that they might disagree with you at times. 

However, if your partner constantly disagrees with you, it could be a sign that they’re not respecting your point of view. 

If you notice this behavior consistently, it might be time to discuss the issue. 

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that everyone has their unique perspective on things. 

Each spouse must appreciate the other’s viewpoint and truly listen to them to hear them out completely when there are disagreements. 

That is the foundation of what love is.

2) He always puts you at the bottom of his list. 

If he repeatedly reneges on the pledges he has made to you or makes you feel like you are his least significant concern, he does not value you or respect you enough. 

Do you think he consistently puts other people’s ideas and opinions above your own?

Or does he always make exceptions for other people but never for you?

If you are not the one that your partner prioritizes in his life, he will find reasons to put you last. 

This is because he knows that in a relationship it is essential to prioritize the person you are with and you should be able to take care of yourself first before taking care of him

It could also mean that he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs more time to develop his feelings before making this commitment.

3) It is impossible to communicate honestly.

Could it be you?

Do you feel as though you simply cannot speak with him any longer? Does he dismiss you out of hand or does he only tell you that you are making a big deal out of nothing?

Constantly feeling drained and mentally exhausted after attempting to communicate with him is one of the greatest indicators that he doesn’t care about you. 

This is an indication of toxic communication. 

If you’ve been unable to communicate with your partner for some time now, your relationship is most likely unhealthy, and you must do something about it. 

Let me take a wild guess:

By making an honest attempt at communicating backfire, you are likely to end up in the situation like this:

The other person grows frustrated and angry because they feel like they are being treated unfairly. You respond by getting mad or defensive yourself, which only adds fuel to the fire.

While this article explores the main signs your husband doesn’t value you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like how you can communicate to your husband. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) Support does not work in two ways.

In relationships, there is a certain expectation that one partner will be the “supporter” and the other will be the “receiver”. 

Support is defined as assistance for someone in a situation, especially emotional support. Supporting a partner can be tricky when the dynamics of the relationship are different. 

If one person is more independent and needs a lot of support, it can be difficult for the other person to offer that. 

It can also be hard for people with different levels of support to communicate about their needs.

Your partner does not value your visions, aims, or work if he constantly looks to you for help but never pays it back.

And that is among the clearest indications that he doesn’t value you.

5) You are being compared with other people by your partner.

Your partner compares you to other people. 

He may compare their partner with a family member, friend, coworker, or even stranger. 

However, when your partner compares you to other people, you can feel insecure and begin to question your worth. 

When this happens, the relationship becomes weaker

So it’s important to talk about this issue so you can work together to improve your relationship.

One way to address this issue is by being honest with yourself. It’s okay to say “I’m the only one here.” or “I’m different from those others.” 

There is no right or wrong way to do this. The only thing that matters is that you are taking care of yourself in a healthy way.

Let’s get this straight.

Something is wrong in the relationship if you are striving for your partner’s attention all the time. Your relationship shouldn’t be a fight. 

This can be a sign that your partner may no longer respect or value you. 

6) He looks at other women lustfully. 

Do you notice your partner is more interested in other women than in you and constantly admires them? 

When someone loses interest in their partner, they become dissatisfied and temperamental with them, yet lavish attention on everyone else. 

Even when your partner is spending time with you, you may be able to detect that they are focusing more on other women in the room, than on you. 

This may come across as a lack of interest in you and your needs. 

While this can be a very difficult situation to be in. 

It is vital to remember that it is not necessarily a reflection of you, but instead of the situation, and your partner’s needs.

One of the biggest indicators that your spouse doesn’t respect or value you is if you frequently catch him watching porn or jerking off.

7) You are being blamed by him all the time. 

You are being blamed all the time. It’s not your fault, but he just wants to blame you for everything. He dumps all the blame on you. 

They want to blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life. It makes you feel awful. You feel like you don’t have any control over your own life at all. 

You feel like he just blames everything on you at first and then he takes off running as fast as they can. 

You get blamed for things that are out of your control, so why bother? 

Why bother trying to fix things when he just keeps blaming you for everything?

A man who constantly criticizes and corrects you for the tiniest things no longer respects you. 

This is one of the biggest signs he doesn’t value you.

When you’re dealing with his words it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love. 

I want to suggest doing something different. 

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe. 

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way because we’re not taught how to love ourselves first. 

So, if you want to solve your connection with your husband, I’d recommend starting with yourself first and taking Rudá’s incredible advice. 

Here’s a link to the free video once again

8) Your husband is rarely around you. 

Do you think your partner is pretty busy?

Does he frequently invent excuses for why he must leave home?

Or does he talk on the phone nonstop? Even in bed

If you’re in a relationship with someone who is rarely around, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate your situation. 

If you feel like the person you are dating is only around you when he wants something, then that may be a red flag. He might be using you.

You can always take some time to reflect before making any decisions. Take the opportunity to think things through, and consider all the facts. 

This will help you determine whether or not you want to continue with this person. 

If you do decide to continue, make sure that your husband is on the same page and agrees to stand by your side.

9) He has become apathetic. 

Apathy is the feeling of indifference towards things. It is a lack of motivation to act, or an unwillingness to act, on some or all activities in one’s life. 

It can be temporary or permanent. People with apathy may not care about their appearance, socialization, or activities they used to enjoy. 

They may feel like there is nothing to live for and that life is pointless.

When your husband becomes indifferent, it is because he has become nonchalant in his responses to you or because he makes it appear as if nothing has changed. 

Your gut instinct can tell you whether your partner has changed and no longer seems to be the man you once knew. 

A large red flag occurs when you notice that your partner who previously paid attention to you now ignores everything you say and makes you feel as if you must work for his attention. 

10) After having sex with him, you feel so awful.

There is a significant chance that your spouse doesn’t value or respect you if you feel like there is no emotional connection during sex. 

And you honestly feel horrible after sex like you’ve been used.

It may be an indication that your man is simply interested in a physical connection with you and doesn’t need anything else if he shows little interest in talking to you, listening to you, or even feeling the need to engage in foreplay.

Please comprehend that sex plays a crucial role in relationships.

However, if your entire relationship is predicated on having sex and you feel used, then something is unquestionably wrong.

Sexual activity is only one aspect of a relationship. Sex isn’t all!

11) It’s hard to understand what he does. 

It might appear as if he is right there with you at times, making you laugh and paying attention to you. 

However, most of the time, he is on his phone, always on his computer, or smiling at his device. You can’t grab his attention, and even if you do, it’s only for a short time.

You’re caught in the middle of a battle that has nothing to do with you. 

It’s a battle between his devices, social accounts, and you, and you feel worthless at that time. 

You’re not sure how he feels about you; he’s so unpredictable. You’ve tried to put things right, but you can’t seem to find a way to make it work.

His moods are unpredictable, and he might blow up at any moment or become upset about something that has nothing to do with you. 

You can’t predict his reactions, which is frightening. You have to worry about your safety and his sanity. 

No matter how hard you try, you will find no peace in the relationship and seek some closure and stability. 

12) He makes jokes about you with his friends and family. 

There are two reasons for his action. The first is that he does it because he genuinely likes you. 

The second is that he’s trying to build rapport and trust by making you feel included and accepted. 

When used in a positive way, this all-purpose flattery can be an effective tool in building trust and rapport with your partner.

The problem is when he uses it in a negative context or against your wishes. 

If you hear him bring up something you did wrong, or say something critical about you, then it’s not all-purpose flattery – it’s a negative remark about you. 

These types of comments will make you feel embarrassed and disrespected, even though they were never intended to hurt your feelings.

But if you cracked a joke, he’d be hurt. He would also complain that you didn’t respect him. 

You are not treated with respect when you are with someone who doesn’t value or appreciate you.

They don’t fear losing you because they genuinely don’t care; they believe that you will always be with them.

Consider how frequently your partner makes fun of you:

  • Your cooking or how you conduct yourself
  • Talking or acting in a certain way either your work or career
  • Your characteristics
  • Whatever passion you are striving

Rest assured that it is not your fault if you feel that nothing you do pleases your lover. Your partner is to blame for treating you with a lack of respect.

13) He challenges you to leave.

He challenges you to leave or casually uses the words “divorce” or “end this relationship” if you ever bring up a specific issue or try to talk to him about how he’s making you feel.

This is one of the biggest signs he doesn’t value you.

To be clear: 

Yes, we can talk about your relationship or separation sometimes. 

But you need to be aware that he will try to shut you down. 

He may make comments like “Why are you bringing that up?” or “Just leave it alone.” 

So when the conversation is already tense, it can be difficult to speak up. This can cause you to feel frustrated and angry.

The best way to handle this is to remain calm and always bring up the subject in a non-confrontational manner by saying something like:

“I am concerned about our relationship and want to work on this issue.”

Because of your worth, you should be in a relationship with someone who sees you as a prize to be won.

You shouldn’t have to tolerate mockery, agitation, or insults.

14) He rarely shows kindness to you. 

Nobody ever begins a relationship by being nasty and annoying.

When women fall in love, we are frequently initially enticed by particular characteristics a man possesses.

Many men are naturally charming and are adept at knowing how to speak and what to say to win a woman over.

But over time, a person’s true characteristics become apparent.

And we get into relationships with individuals who don’t deserve us when we rush into them or when we are too gullible to refuse them and walk away from something that isn’t quite true.

Please leave if you discover that your partner treats you terribly and occasionally even goes out of their way to be harsh.

You need to be getting far more than that. 

Everyone occasionally exhibits moodiness and irritability. Ones do experience depression, and occasionally they lash out at the people they care about.

However, if you discover that your partner consistently treats you rudely. Please just let him know who you truly are!

15) Your opinion doesn’t matter to him. 

You don’t hear wrong. Your opinion doesn’t matter to him. He doesn’t respect it or care about it one way or another. 

He might tell you what he thinks of your opinion, but he’s not going to stay listening just because you want him to. 

Even if he does listen, it’s only because he can use the information against you in some way later on. So don’t bother wasting your breath trying to convince him of anything. 

If you really want something done, do it yourself and be sure to follow through with whatever you promise.

But even if you have no idea how to go about getting it done, he probably won’t care anyway.

If he doesn’t feel the need to involve you in the decision-making, that is one of the key indicators that he doesn’t value you.

Think about it another way: 

He is not only disrespectful toward you but also quite pompous if you see that he always goes out of his way to show that he alone is capable of making all the decisions.

It’s also a narcissistic indicator.

Always keep in mind that a relationship is built on respect, loyalty, and trust.

16) There’s nothing you can count on him for. 

Though he’s an incredibly dedicated partner, he can’t be counted on for anything. He’ll complain about everything and never offer any solutions to your problems. 

Don’t fall for this trap. Instead, work hard to make up for his shortcomings and prove that you can be a reliable partner who is worth the effort.

People are more likely to forgive those who take initiative over those who wait for things to happen. 

Taking the lead on projects and tasks will give you more credibility with your partner. 

If you take the initiative, you will be seen as a reliable person who is capable of taking care of yourself and others. 

You might also earn the respect of your partner, which will increase his trust in you.

One of the earliest symptoms that your lover doesn’t appreciate you or feel the need to assist around the house is if you truly believe that he or she isn’t aiding you with the most of the housework. 

Your relationship is seriously toxic if you genuinely believe that you always shoulder all duties alone and cannot rely on your partner for anything.

17) He underestimates your successes

A husband who doesn’t appreciate you can be like a stone block. 

He acts like you’re a stranger he’s sitting next to on the bus who smells horrible while being unresponsive, heartless, and impersonal.

He undervalues your accomplishments at work and in life and seldom ever acknowledges them.

When you reach a significant milestone, he might use a semi-sarcastic nod of approval, a “yeah, terrific,” or other contemptuous remarks.

How should you be feeling?

There is nothing wrong with you if a simple helping hand is insufficient to make you feel supported by your partner.


To sum up, when your husband doesn’t value you as a person, it reflects in the way he treats you. 

He may say hurtful and demeaning things to you, or neglect to show you the appreciation and love that you deserve. It can hurt, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

You deserve better than what you’re getting from your spouse and there is a way to change things. You just need to know what the signs are and how to respond. 

If you’re interested in learning more about how to improve your relationships, we have an entire article dedicated to tips for making your marriage better.

It is important to know what these signs are so that you can work on them and improve your relationship with your husband. 

You will have a better chance of getting your husband to open up and take a stand for you.