It feels impossible to figure out whether you and your ex still have a chance to be together.
…or is it?
I’m here to tell you: It doesn’t have to be.
Here are 21 signs that your ex is actually waiting for you
1) They make you remember the good times
Let’s start off simple.
A huge sign your ex is waiting for you is when they make you remember the good times.
Good old nostalgia, eh?
In all seriousness, though, this means that they are definitely remembering all the fond memories they have of your relationship.
Reminding you of them is their attempt of getting you to reevaluate the break-up.
You see, sometimes this can be really subtle and vague, like saying “Yeah, I’ve been on some beautiful vacations in Vermont, as well.”, in a group, referencing numerous Ski trips you went on together.
But, of course, it can also be very direct.
In those cases, they might:
- Remind you of trips you went on together
- Bring updates you had
- Emphasize how much fun you had together
Trust me, if your ex keeps talking about these things, they are definitely waiting for you.
2) They make you wonder what could have been (if things had been different)
Now: what is another huge sign that your ex is secretly waiting for you?
They make you wonder what could have been.
I mean, it’s pretty obvious, but if your ex keeps talking about how happy you could be, buying a house together and getting a puppy, that doesn’t come out of nowhere.
Think about it: if they keep mentioning it, a part of them is still clinging onto the hope that potentially someday in the future, this will be a reality.
Little disclaimer here: make sure that you know what you want. Constantly hearing about what could have been can actually manipulate you into thinking breaking up was a mistake.
Your ex might not be doing it on purpose, but make sure that if you ever get back together, it’s for the right reasons, and not because they coerced you into feeling FOMO.
3) They are working on themselves
Not only is this a sign your ex might be waiting for you, but it is also a massive green flag for a potential future together when they are working on themselves.
You see, there is a reason a lot of relationships fail again when the people get back together.
Do you want to know why?
Because nothing changed. Neither one of them did any self-reflection or self-improvement, so how can they expect a different result?
The only time a relationship can be successful the second time around is when one of the factors that led to the break-up changes.
Sounds logical, right?
Because it is.
So, if your ex is working on themselves, that is a great sign. It means they are actively trying to improve.
This could be:
- Taking better care of their body by eating right, working out, sleeping enough, and drinking enough water
- Educating themselves by reading more books
- Taking a course
- Going to therapy / hiring a coach
- Starting a practice like meditation, journaling, or breathwork
…or really anything that helps with self-improvement.
My biggest tip for you?
Do the same.
No matter who will be in your future, be it your ex or someone new, the relationship will be better for it, believe me.
The healthier your relationship with yourself is, the healthier all your other relationships will be.
4) Their inner hero is triggered
Another sign your ex is waiting for you, is when their inner hero is triggered. Let me explain that a little bit:
You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
5) They don’t return your things / take theirs back
Alright, next up on the list of signs that your ex is waiting for you is a pretty obvious one:
They don’t return your things or take theirs back.
It’s true, sometimes people are just busy and don’t find the time to go pick up their stuff, and, frankly, sometimes, they just don’t want to see their ex.
However, if it’s been a while and you might have even already hinted at exchanging your things but they always avoid that topic, chances are, they are still waiting for you.
You see, while they still have your things, they know that you are not completely out of their life just yet.
At least once you will have to meet again, and they are clinging onto that thought.
Depending on what you have stashed at their house, that can be a bit impractical, but they don’t mean anything bad by it, they just can’t help it.
6) They reach out
With the next one, I don’t think there is much to say here.
When your ex keeps reaching out to you by calling or texting, they are definitely not over you and are probably still waiting for you to come back.
Turns out this proves especially true when there never seems to be a proper or valid reason for them reaching out.
You know, sometimes people actually need to reach out because of something important only you can answer, but if their reasons are trivial, like:
- Asking you how you’ve been
- Calling you to ask about something literally anyone else could have answered
- Finding excuses to talk
Chances are, they just want to hear your voice or stay in touch.
At this point, you probably already know that they are waiting for you.
Quite frankly, they couldn’t make it any more obvious. Unless…
7) They drunk-call you
Yes, they could make it more obvious. By calling or texting you when they’re drunk.
Why is that such a huge sign of them waiting for you?
You see, when somebody is drunk, their subconscious acts up. What is usually suppressed throughout the day by rational thought is now out in the open.
So, if they call you up when they are drunk, they really wanted to do that sober, as well.
Chances are, you even get to hear all their feelings blurted out. They are drunk, after all.
However, they don’t need to necessarily call you up and tell you they love you in order for you to know they are still waiting for you.
Turns out a simple “Hi, what’s up?” text at two in the morning does the trick, as well.
When you are on their mind while they are out partying and drinking, they still have deep feelings for you.
8) They take the blame for problems
Well, not this one.
You see, when your ex is waiting for you, they might take the blame for problems in the relationship.
Seeing someone take responsibility for where they might have gone wrong is great and the best foundation for a future together, trust me, however, there is one thing I want to mention:
If you want to be together again, ask yourself where you might have messed up a little bit, too.
I know, there are instances when we feel like we did nothing wrong.
I’m not saying you should blame yourself for your partner’s actions or certain problems.
But what if I tell you that we play a part in everything that happens, even the stuff we feel we have no control over?
This is not about feeling bad about yourself or taking the blame. On the contrary, it’s about taking your power back and resting assured that now you know how to avoid certain things in the future.
Let’s take cheating as an example.
Is it your fault if your partner cheated on you? By no means, it usually has nothing to do with you at all.
Is there something you CAN take responsibility for, though? Something you can avoid in the future? Something that could have protected your energy? This could be:
- Noticing less connection and not communicating about it
- Letting your needs slide in an attempt to “save the relationship”
- Having weak boundaries
You see, what your partner does is completely on them and not your fault. But seeing how you could have protected yourself and taking responsibility for that can be incredibly empowering.
9) They go where they know they’ll meet you
An ex is definitely waiting for you when they randomly pop up in places where you are, too.
Little disclaimer, if you always had the same go-to bars, cafés, or museums before dating, this might not apply to you as much.
However, if they show up at
- Your favorite bar
- The park you read in every day
- The coffee shop where you are a regular
Even though they usually don’t go there, chances are, they are trying to meet you “accidentally”.
Maybe they miss you, maybe they want you to think about them again.
Either way, they are definitely waiting for you to come back.
10) They always figure out new stuff to talk to you about
You know how when you break up with someone, you kinda don’t want to talk to each other?
When your ex is waiting for you, the opposite is the case.
You see, somehow, your ex will come up with new topics to talk to you about out of the blue.
The funny thing is, it can be so random, but they are happy as long as they get to speak with you.
I don’t think I have to mention that this is a huge sign of them waiting for you.
Probs to them, though, finding topics to talk about can be really hard!
11) They are always available
Sometimes, seeing an ex is inevitable. There might be an unresolved issue to talk about, or they finally decided to return your things.
At these encounters, you can also notice whether or not your ex is waiting for you.
Simply notice whether it is hard finding a time and place that works for both of you, or if they are always available.
Clearing their schedule out for you is a huge sign that you are really important to them and they want to make things work.
This also applies to calls and text messages, by the way.
You will notice them replying right away and picking up on the first ring.
This constant availability screams “I want you back!”.
12) They stalk your social media
The knowledge of whether or not an ex is waiting for you could be right at your fingertips.
I’m talking about your social media.
Do you notice them stalking your social media regularly?
A few signs you can watch out for are:
- Liking a photo from way back
- Being the first to view all your stories
- Being the first to like your new posts
- Commenting on posts
Of course, some people are more sneaky, but if right after the breakup a random person named @Fq7892!?jD starts viewing all of your stories, I don’t know, it might be them.
13) On their own socials, they seem sad
Speaking of social media, your ex’s social media can give a lot away when it comes to their feelings about you.
Now: what are a few examples of your ex waiting for you and showing it on social media?
- Posting a picture of the two of you
- Posting a picture that you took of them
- Writing a sad status about how life has been feeling empty lately
- Putting a song that means something to the two of you on their story
While this might sound cheesy and like a 7th grader would do it, you’d be surprised to find out how many people still use their Instagram as a public space to vent and complain about life.
Whether you like it or not, your ex’s social media can give you important clues as to whether or not they are waiting for you.
14) They talk to your friends about you
Now: when your ex is still talking to your friends and/or family, that says something in and of its own.
However, when they talk to them about YOU, it’s a whole other story.
Of course, it depends on what they are saying, but generally, talking to your friends and family about you can be a huge indicator that they want you back.
- Ask them about you
- Talk to them about memories
- Ask them how to get you back
With the latter, it’s pretty clear that they are still waiting for you, but even the former talking points indicate that they have not moved on in any way, shape or form.
15) Their friends tell you that your ex wants you back
Similar to the previous point, you can also figure out whether or not an ex is waiting for you by their friends.
To be honest, this one is pretty self-explanatory, and I probably don’t even need to mention this to you, but here it goes:
If your ex’s friends are telling you that your ex wants you back, believe them.
Think about it: there is literally no reason for them to be telling you this other than that it is true.
The best part?
If your ex is telling their friends about it, they must be feeling quite serious about it.
You see, many people miss their ex, but they often keep it to themselves.
Once they open up to their friends about wanting their ex back, they have usually thought about it quite a lot.
16) They aren’t dating anyone new
This probably doesn’t come as a huge surprise, but if your ex is not dating anyone new, chances are they are waiting for you.
Rebounds are a common strategy to move on from an ex faster.
Spoiler alert: that usually doesn’t work, like, at all. It just makes the pain worse once the rebound is over.
If a person refrains from using a rebound to drown out their feelings, they might still have hope that they can rekindle the flame.
However, I think it’s important to mention here that some people also use the time of separation to get to know themselves and work on self-improvement.
In that case, well, working on themselves was another sign that we mentioned here, so I guess you’re good either way!
17) They get jealous
Jealousy is a completely normal emotion and nothing to be ashamed of.
However, it does indicate one thing: having feelings for somebody.
You see, you don’t get jealous about someone you don’t have feelings for, so if your ex shows you that they are jealous, they are waiting for you and haven’t given up hope just yet.
What are some signs of jealousy?
- Flirting with someone if you are there with a new partner, too
- Passive-aggressive comments towards/about your new partner
- Calling for no apparent reason
- Undermining your new partner
- Finding out about your relationship from your friends
If your ex is showing any of those signs, chances are they might be jealous of your new boo.
But you don’t even need to be dating someone new in order for them to get jealous, a simple conversation at a party might suffice to make them feel like they need to get you back.
This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to not get jealous.
And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
18) They want to be friends
Now: let’s talk about this one a bit more.
You see, wanting to be friends with an ex doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything about them waiting for you.
Sometimes it’s just that, wanting to be friends.
However, if they also show a few of the other signs in this article, their wanting to be friends can be yet another giveaway of secretly still waiting for you.
Maybe they finally realized that it is time to shoot their shot again, but the only way they know how is by wanting to be your friend first.
They might be hoping that while being your friend and hanging out again, your feelings might spark again.
The good news?
It’s totally up to you!
You can be friends with them and keep it at that, making it clear to them right away that you don’t want anything else, or you can see if you two have another chance at being together.
19) They tell you they miss you
Okay, how obvious do they want to make it?
Jokes aside, when an ex tells you they miss you, it usually takes some guts to do so.
Chances are, they’ve been mulling this over for a long time and finally gathered the courage to tell you.
And the best part?
It means they are definitely waiting for you.
You see, missing someone is one thing, telling them, something completely different.
Turns out once they’re at that point, they are usually ready to go for it and just talk to you about it anyways.
Now all that’s left for you to do is decide what you want to do.
20) Their new partner looks like you
I know, I mentioned earlier that a sign of them waiting for you is refraining from dating anyone new, but that’s not always the case.
You see, some people know no other way of dealing with their emotions than finding a rebound.
Now: if their new partner looks freakishly similar to you (I’m talking same hair and eye color, similar hairstyle, almost identical clothing style), then something is up.
Your ex might be thinking they are moving on from you, but in reality, they are very much clinging to the idea of you.
The thing is, with all of these similarities they are trying to replace you in their life, but sooner or later that will backfire and they will miss you more than ever.
So, if your ex is dating someone who looks like you, chances are big they are still waiting for you, but they might not even know it, themselves.
21) They only say good things about you
Last but not least, someone who is waiting for you will not bad-mouth you.
Now: this sign alone doesn’t say a lot about whether your ex is waiting for you, it might just mean they are decent human beings who doesn’t believe in trash-talking their exes.
However, in addition to some of the other signs I mentioned here, only saying good things about you can be a huge green flag.
Think about it: would you ever consider going back to someone who was talking you down behind your back? Probably not.
That’s why when an ex talks with mutual friends and only says good things, it’s a very good sign!
Should you wait for your ex?
After hearing about all of those signs, you might feel like you and your ex still have a chance.
Let’s get real here for a minute.
Why are you so adamant about finding out whether they are waiting for you?
There is a good chance you are the one who still has feelings.
Now: there are two options for you here.
You can take action on your feelings and take the plunge
You can actively work on moving on.
Because the only alternative to those two is sitting around waiting for someone who might never come back.
You need to respect yourself more than that and choose one of the two options above.
It’s true, moving on can be incredibly hard, but do you know what’s even harder?
Having to do it 2 years down the line when you realize all that waiting was for nothing.
So, if you think you should get back together, give it a shot and initiate the conversation!
And if not, take your power back and move on.
There is someone out there who will respect you and treat you exactly how you need to be treated.
Whether that’s your ex or not is the big question, but you’ll never find out until you take action.
So the key now is getting through to them in a way that empowers both them and you.
I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.
And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.
With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, before sure to check out the video now.