15 signs he’s losing interest in you & how to deal with it

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It can be terrifying to see changes happening to your relationship.

You might wonder if it’s because your date, partner, or husband is losing his feelings for you, even when it’s not necessarily the case.

Don’t stress too much. Most of the time, a man distancing from you is totally normal and could even be a sign that your relationship is moving forward.

And if you find out that he’s really losing interest in you, the good news is that you can still turn things around.

In this article, I will give you the signs your partner is losing interest in you and tell you exactly what you can do about it.

1) He doesn’t give you compliments anymore.

Men don’t always show their appreciation verbally.

A lot actually prefer to show their affection for you through their actions. But if a man truly is interested in you, he will try to tell you about it anyways.

Did you get a new dress, or a new hairstyle? Him praising you would be his way to show you that he’s paying attention to you.

But while it’s only to be expected for him to be a bit more sparing with his praise as the relationship goes on, it shouldn’t dwindle down to nothing. This is especially the case if he always used to shower you with praise.

There are many reasons why this might happen. It could be that you have been taking his praises for granted, so he felt like you didn’t appreciate them.

But it’s also quite possible that he was simply love-bombing you, and found the constant affection hard to maintain.

It could also be that you have problems in his relationship that have killed his affection for you.

2) He starts ignoring you more and more.

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

We only have so much of it to spare, and yet it’s also one of the most important things in the relationship.

So when you find yourself feeling like he’s been ignoring you, you can’t help but feel unloved.

He might be taking longer to respond to your texts, if ever. And important dates like your birthday or anniversary might start getting neglected.

When you notice this happening, pay attention to what he’s doing.

If he’s facing depression or is burdened by huge problems, it might just be him withdrawing into his shell or trying to fight his own battles first.

But if he seems to be happy and attentive otherwise, it might be because his love for you had dwindled or that he had begun to take you for granted. It might hurt a lot, but this is not the end. There are still many things you can do to fix the situation.

3) He starts spending less and less time with you.

When a man spends less and less time for you, it’s natural to come to the conclusion that you’re no longer as important to him as you used to be.

After all, why won’t he try to spend time with the person he loves?

The reality is that it’s not always that straightforward.

It could be that he’s been finding himself incredibly busy with work, or maybe he’s just trying to enjoy his time with his friends. He still does have a life outside of you of course.

But it could also be because he’s trying to avoid hanging out with you.

Maybe the two of you had just gone through a massive argument that bruised his ego, or maybe there’s something he’s been keeping a secret from you. It could also be that he had just begun to find your company boring.

When in doubt, ask him what’s up but don’t pressure him. If he doesn’t have a valid reason to spend less time with you, then sadly he’s losing interest in you.

4) He doesn’t initiate sex anymore.

While not always the case, desire and sexuality are inherently linked in men.

There’s a reason why men are sometimes portrayed as sleazy or as skirt-chasers after all.

Your man probably isn’t a sleaze. But just because he manages his urges better doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. If he likes you, he’s going to show it to you by wanting to have sex with you whenever he could.

So when a man stops bothering to initiate sex, especially if it used to be the case that he’d always be the one to ask for it, it can be frustrating.

Think about what has been happening to the two of you lately.

Have you been arguing a lot over the past few months? When did he begin to stop initiating sex?

If your guy hasn’t been bothering to initiate sex with you lately, then it means that something is up, and that it’s most likely that he had begun to lose interest in you.

5) Date nights have become a thing of the past.

There are reasons why dates no longer happen like they used to.

You might find yourselves getting older or busy with life. Or it could be that you’ve just fallen into a comfortable period of your relationship where you no longer find a compelling need to go out on a date every other day.

But that doesn’t mean that it’s normal for them to disappear completely!

A man who is truly still interested in you will try to find ways to keep having dates with you, even if it means simply watching movies together once or twice a month in your living room instead of at the cinema.

When your man no longer puts in the effort to go on a date with you, however, then you have cause to worry. More so if he’s been consistently declining any offers you make.

When that happens, chances are that it’s because he had begun to fall out of love with you.

6) Communication has declined dramatically.

Back in the day, you used to call and text one another all the time. But now, the two of you could barely even hold a conversation together.

You’ve reached the point where he does his own thing, you do yours, and neither of you are talking about it.

This is not just a sign that things are beginning to fall apart—it is a sign that things HAVE fallen apart.

Communication is one of the foundations of a proper relationship and without it you might as well not stay together anymore.

If your relationship had gone to the point where neither of you are that eager to talk with each other, it’s probably already too far gone.

It’s not easy when this happens. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. But if you had caught it before it had gotten that far, then you can still fix it.

I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.

I learnt about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what makes us stop trying to connect with our partners when things get rough.

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.

We need to face the facts about a relationship going stale.

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty.

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to maintain a healthy relationship- and finally offered an actual, practical solution on handling a relationship that’s gone stale.

If you’re done with wasting your time worrying about how to get your man’s interest back, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities.

Click here to watch the free video.

7) He’s been picking fights with you.

For whatever reason, he had begun paying close attention to the things you do and say lately and would pick fights with you for the smallest things.

Did you perhaps wear your hair a bit too long?

Does he think it’s stupid of you to wear make-up when you go outside?

Does grumble about how the dishes weren’t done right when he knows you were the one who did them?

Be careful when you see your man acting like this. It’s a red flag warning you that something’s not quite right with him.

And when he’s been consistently treating you like this for a while now, it means he’s lost interest in you.

Any interest that lingers in him is not for you, but for the woman he imagines you to be—a woman that only exists in his mind.

It could also be that he found someone new, and is being especially mean to you since you’re now standing between him and his new girl, and this frustration shows in your little fights.

8) He doesn’t seem to miss you so much.

When you love someone, it’s only fair that you would care for them if they suddenly disappeared or if they were to return after being away for a while.

You would be worried about how they’re doing, or if they’re okay, and all the time miss their presence whether it be by your side or in your texts.

And it’s no different for men.

If anything, while men are often raised to be stoic, they are often strongly affected by emotions that they have a hard time processing. If he still cares for you, he will miss you and it’ll show in the way he acts.

So if your man had stopped showing just how much he misses you, then there’s probably something going on. Take the time to think about what’s been going on in your relationship.

Had you ever “disappeared” on him to make him miss you or to make him do what you want? Have you been arguing lately? Has he been spending more time away as well?

Maybe he no longer misses you because he had found someone else to give him the attention he wants, or maybe he had become “immune” of you ghosting him after every big argument.

Whatever it may be, if he doesn’t miss you, it’s a big sign he’s losing interest.

9) He’s been keeping your eyes off his phone.

While not all couples freely share their phones or passwords with one another, there are those that do. And if your relationship involves sharing, then it’s jarring if he suddenly decides to stop sharing his phone with you.

Maybe he’ll turn his phone away from you when you pass by, and even change the password so that you won’t be able to unlock it like you used to. Or maybe he’ll share it with you, but only after he logs his accounts out first.

An obvious reason why he might be doing this is because you breached his trust.

Maybe you picked a fight with someone while logged in to his social media accounts, or used it to message his exes.

But if you haven’t, then it’s probably because he’s trying to keep secrets from you, which is probably because he’s found someone new.

Of course, give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just realized that he prefers to keep some privacy. But if it happens all too suddenly, something’s up.

10) It’s all about the sex now.

Earlier, I mentioned that men are driven by their sexuality. And that your partner no longer initiating sex can be a big sign saying that his interest in you had dwindled.

But the other way around is also a warning.

If you’ve ever reached a point where you would see a message or a call from him and think “he wants sex again”, then you probably want to pay attention.

Maybe at this point he’s just using you for your body, and not your company. His interest in you has dwindled, but he’s still driven by his needs and since you two are partners anyways he might as well make use of you.

It will become evident in the sex as well, because when you sleep it won’t be about how you feel. Little attention will be paid to your needs. There will be less cuddles and kisses.

And if you don’t live together, he might even exit a few minutes after the deed is done.

11) He keeps coming home late.

You would remember when he would come home as soon as he could so that he could spend time with you. But those days are over. Now he stays out and doesn’t come home until he absolutely needs to.

While this is not necessarily a sign that he has lost interest in you—he might just be trying to avoid tensions at home if things haven’t been going well for you lately—it is certainly something to pay attention to.

What is he doing out of doors?

Does he try to avoid talking about it, or keep making excuses?

Try talking to him about it before it goes on for too long.

If it’s because he’s been having issues, then maybe you can help him out. If it’s because there’s been problems in your relationship, then you can talk it out.

12) He flirts with other people.

Flirting can be fun, but if you’re in a committed relationship together and he cares for you and your feelings, he’s not going to flirt with others. If anything, he’ll flirt with you and try to make you feel special instead.

If your man is flirting with other women, chances are that it’s deliberate. Maybe he wants you to feel jealous, or to threaten you with the thought that he can just replace you if he wants.

This means that he doesn’t care for you. He isn’t even doing it because he’s interested in you. He does it because he’s interested in himself, and having you under his control makes him feel good.

It could also be that he’s just careless, of course. In which case he will—should you point it out to him—try to keep himself in check for your sake. However, if nothing changes, maybe it’s just because he’s lost interest in you.

13) He gets irritable when you’re together.

When you offer him a treat, he’d either refuse or take it reluctantly.

Take a walk around town together, and you’d catch him grumbling about every little thing he comes across.

But you notice this only happens when you’re around. When he’s with his friends, or by himself, he’s much happier.

There are many implications this kind of behavior has on your relationship, and none of them are good.

It could be because there have been tensions between the two of you that you hadn’t resolved. It could also be because he’d rather be out there doing other things than hanging around with you.

14) He avoids talking about your future

When you’re together with someone—be they a date, partner, or husband—it’s only natural for you to want to talk about the future. Even the most “I live in the present” kind of guy will understand that having plans or aspirations for the days ahead helps your relationship thrive.

It’s important so make sure your goals are aligned, for one.

You might dream for five kids, but he thinks they’re too much of a bother and wants only one. He might want to move to California, while a house in Florida has always been your dream.

Try to ask him why he’s been avoiding the discussion and then give it some thought. Is it because you keep on getting into arguments if you do so? Is it because he thinks there’s no point?

If he has no good reason, chances are it’s because he simply doesn’t see a future with you.

He has lost interest in you and is only keeping you around so that he has someone to fall back to while looking for a replacement.

15) He doesn’t put in the effort to support you.

If a man is interested in you, he’s going to do his best to support you in whatever it is you want to do. If you want to pick up bodybuilding, skydiving, camping, or suddenly decide to run for president, he’s there for you.

But if you’re met with indifference, then it means he doesn’t care for you.

If he did, he would try to understand any possible risks you might be getting into so that he can help you out.

Worse still would be if he would outright tell you not to do what you want, and tell you to do what he wants instead. At that point he isn’t interested in who you are as a person. Rather, he’s more concerned about what you can give him.

Things you can still do to save your relationship

Talk it over with him

The most important part of a relationship is communication. Thus, it makes sense that the most important part to fixing a broken relationship is through communication.

Try to set aside time for you to sit down and discuss your issues.

Try to articulate your own feelings over your relationship as calmly as you can. Don’t accuse him outright of having lost interest in you, and instead say that it simply feels that way to you.

Understanding his situation and his motivations can unearth a lot of issues deserving of discussion, and even solve problems that have yet to show their face.

But of course, be prepared for the possibility that he might not cooperate.

Try to understand why he lost interest

Simply talking without trying to understand doesn’t do much.

When you have aired your concerns and he has shared his side in turn, sit back and try to understand why things are the way they are.

Did he start picking fights with you because his grandmother died and he’s stressed? Did he stop complimenting you because he feels like you’ve been ignoring them? Does he simply need some space?

Relationship troubles don’t exist in a vacuum, and by trying to understand the symptoms at hand, you might just learn a lot about yourself, your partner, and how you both operate.

And from there, you can make a judgment on whether you should keep trying, or break it off.

Ask help from a professional coach

You can try to do the DIY route once again, but if you’ve already talked to him about it and nothing has changed, then it’s time to get help from experts.

Last year my relationship reached a dead-end.

I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.

I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero helped me understand how my relationship decayed.

This coach was tough but fair, but he was able to help me identify what exactly went wrong and how I can still reverse the damage.

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you, too.

Try to settle on a compromise

After talking to an expert, I’m sure you’re not more sure of your next steps.

If you do decide to keep going with your relationship, then try to settle on a compromise and then do your best to make sure that both of you are following said compromise.

If he admits to cheating on you because you have been too busy to give him any attention, then if you can forgive him then perhaps you can start with trying to free time for him.

If he admits to staying away because you get too sensitive when he says something contrary to your own opinion, then maybe you can try to keep your temper in check.

Compromises have to be fair, and they can be incredibly restrictive sometimes.

If the compromise is too much, then you should consider breaking it off, because it’s no longer healthy at that point.

Don’t take it too personally

It’s easy to take it personally when a guy loses interest in you.

You might wonder what it is you did wrong, and what you could have done differently. It would hurt, and it would ruin how you see yourself.

But that’s exactly what you shouldn’t do.

Ultimately you have no power over his feelings, and you can do your best to be the “perfect girlfriend” but if he just isn’t interested in you, then there’s nothing you can do.

It’s not about you, it’s him. It’s life.

You might not be enough for him, but be everything another guy has ever dreamed of.

If he leaves, he leaves

While reconciliation is generally preferable, sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

Maybe he would simply refuse to talk over things with you, or your discussion unearthed some deep and fundamental differences that you just can’t negotiate over.

You can even love each other still, and be such a bad influence to the other that breaking up would be an act of love.

Sometimes the relationship just isn’t going to work out, and when both of you recognize that this is the case, there’s nothing to it but to accept it and move on. If you enjoyed your time together, then be happy that it happened.

Perhaps you can find someone who can offer you even better memories in the future. Or perhaps you can be together another time.

Love yourself more than ever

When someone loses interest in us, it can be quite tough on our self-esteem. We might wonder if it’s because we’re not cute enough or funny enough or sexy enough.

But instead of working harder to become the perfect girl that no man walks away from, become the best girl for yourself.

That way, you always have the love you need.

As pessimistic as it may sound, relationships come and go. People are complicated creatures and sometimes, there’s no point in trying to control how others feel for us. Instead, work on yourself.

Give yourself the love that no other person can give you, and you’re ready to take life’s hard knocks—love life included.


Relationships fall apart for many reasons.

When you notice that your guy has been losing interest in you, think of it not as the disease in your relationship, but the symptom.

There’s always something else causing him to act that way, and the key to saving your relationship lies in trying to find and understand that cause.

But even then, if a relationship just doesn’t work out, there’s little point in trying to save it. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together.

It might feel like a waste to break up with your husband of ten years simply because he had lost interest in you, but if you do that, you throw away the chance for both of you to find someone better.

Face your problem, solve what you can, but if things can’t be fixed, don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to win back someone’s love.