15 definite signs he knows he messed up and regrets hurting you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.
| Last Updated: August 17, 2022

When someone hurts you, it’s normal to want to stay away from them as much as possible so you don’t have to deal with the pain they’ve caused you. 

But what if the person who hurt you wants to repair your relationship? 

How do you know if he really means it and is not just trying to get back into your good graces? 

Here are 15 definite signs he knows he messed up and regrets hurting you

1) He will become more reserved and quiet

When he becomes reserved and quiet around you, it means that he’s really thinking about how to apologize to you. 

But sometimes, this would be because he wants to take it slow and give you time to warm up to him again. 

He would also be extra careful about what he says around you or in front of your family because he wants to avoid hurting them again.

In fact, we always see that some men might think that being quiet around you is a sign of disrespect or an insult, but when the guy really apologizes, he will try his best not to make any mistakes or say anything wrong in front of you or with your family members.

2) He doesn’t say any nasty comments

When your partner does something wrong, he might lash out at you or say nasty things to you.

But if your partner truly wants to repair the relationship, then they won’t say mean things to you even if they’re angry.

Instead, they will talk about what’s going on in their life and how they feel about it.

They will talk about how they messed up, how they feel about it, and if there is anything they can do to make things better.

And what is the most important thing you need to realize here?

Kind men will always think calmly and behave respectfully in front of their other half, they will not see harsh words as a weapon to respond to the opponent.

3) He gets it!

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this statement: “He doesn’t get it!”

What does “getting it” mean?

At its core, “getting it” is listening and understanding what other people are trying to say. 

Hearing without listening is not being understood. Listening without hearing is ignoring.

And if you want to know whether or not your partner gets it, it’s easy to tell.

If you talk about something and they completely ignore you, that means they don’t care. 

Or if they don’t engage or even listen to what you’re trying to say, that is a sign that they don’t get it.


If your partner truly cares and wants to repair the relationship, then they will listen.

And maybe even try to understand your point of view.

Trust me, because they really do care, they care about your feelings.

And they want to know, “What happened? How can I make it right?”

It shows that they are not just there to tell you what they want.

They’re trying to understand your side of the story and see if they can find out the solution for their mistake.

4) He tries to make you laugh

If he knows he hurt you, he will do many things to make you smile again, so you know that he is sorry and be understanding about everything he has done.

He will try to make you laugh, and not just laugh but have a genuinely good time with him by doing something to make sure you don’t have to worry or stress too much until you forget why you were upset in the first place.

5) He seeks your forgiveness and doesn’t try to hide things from you

There might be times that your partner won’t tell you everything about what’s going on in their life.  

And when they do, they might not want to tell you because they could think that it might make you feel bad.

But if your partner truly wants to repair the relationship, they will seek forgiveness and apologize without any excuses.

Consequently, they won’t try to hide things from you and withhold information from you because they know you have a right to know.

And if your partner does tell you, then it’s a sign that they really want to repair the relationship and don’t want to hide anything from you.

6) He knows that you need space and doesn’t pressure you

When your partner does something that upsets you, they might bother you during your healing phase.

They may ask what you’re feeling and how long it’s been going on. 

But if your partner is sensitive to your feelings and only wants to repair the relationship so it won’t be broken anymore, then they will leave you alone during this time.

They would try to respect your space and heal on your own terms, and express some small concern for you by finding some ways that can help you feel better. Such as an incredible free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê. 

With a focus on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace, it was hard to resist giving it a go.

What made this breathwork video so effective?

Well, it comes down to the man behind it all. Rudá created these unique flows using a combination of ancient shamanic techniques and healing breathwork sequences.

He’s spent years developing them to help people find their inner peace.

So, if you feel stressed and uncomfortable after being hurted, I’d recommend checking out Rudá’s free breathwork video.

He’ll give you the tools to start injecting peace and confidence back into your life, from the very first breathwork exercise.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

7) He is more sensitive to your feelings and wants to avoid hurting you in any way

If he really wants to apologize and make things right, he will be very aware of your emotions.

He will check in with you more often, and more sincerely, learn how to empathize with your feelings, especially if it is something that has never happened in the past.

Not only that, he will be more eager to know how you’re feeling and need him to be a part of that and avoid saying anything or doing anything that might make you uncomfortable or upset.

Even if you are the one who has been hurt before and he’s apologizing for something else, he will not want to do it again.

He will know how to avoid doing it in the first place so you don’t end up feeling hurt again.

8) He tries to make amends by initiating small gestures like buying you a flower or cooking your favorite meal

If your partner wants to repair the relationship, then he will go out of his way to do small things that can make you feel better.

For example :

  • If you’re upset and he knows your favorite flowers are white roses, he will buy you a dozen of them with one blooming rose kind of thing.
  • Cooking for you your favorite stir-fried rice noodles with veggies because he knows that you are a vegetarian and don’t eat meat for religious reasons.
  • Wearing the shirt you bought him when he has a chance to see you again.
  • Or he will find ways to help you develop yourself more and more perfectly like recommending Life Journal. Which is created by a teacher and life coach Jeanette Brown, this was the ultimate wake-up call I needed to stop dreaming and start taking action.

Click here to find out more about Life Journal.

So what makes Jeanette’s guidance more effective than other self-development programs? 

It’s simple:

Jeanette’s created a unique way of putting YOU in control of your life. 

She’s not interested in telling you how to live your life. Instead, she’ll give you lifelong tools that’ll help you achieve all your goals, keeping the focus on what you’re passionate about. 

And that’s what makes Life Journal so powerful.

All of these prove that he knows that these small gestures are ways to say sorry and make up for what he did and if your partner truly cares about you, they will do everything they can to keep the relationship up and want to repair it.

9) He makes time for you no matter what and is willing to cancel his plans with friends

If your partner wants to repair the relationship, then he will try to spend more time with you than he normally would.

And even if they have plans in the evening that are so crucial, they will still try to make it work and are not afraid to interrupt their plans with their friends.

They don’t want to disrupt their plans with you because they actually want to spend time with you.

At this time, they will not hesitate to cancel other plans and make sacrifices like this in order for you and them to have time together.

10) He no longer tries to control every aspect of your life

If he doesn’t want you to feel hurt or get angry again, he will stop trying to control every aspect of your life.

He will be more open to suggestions and will allow you to make your own decisions because he probably realizes that it’s not worth losing you over.

11)  He will always be by your side and help you when you need him

When you’re hurting, you might feel isolated and alone.

You need someone who knows when to be there for you and will always be there for you regardless of what happens. 

Instead of pushing you away, he will make sure that you don’t feel alone.

If he sees you upset, he will be there to give you comfort and support like a cute kitten.

If he really wants to apologize and make things right, he will know that being by your side means making time for anything you need, even if it’s just being there without saying a word.

He will never leave you alone or go off with someone else unless that’s what you want and always be in your corner, defend you no matter what.

All of which proves that he wants to help out as often as he can, both physically and emotionally by being there for you.

12) He sincerely apologizes to you without any excuses

Apologizing is a part of life, especially when you’re in a relationship.

People make mistakes and missteps every day, and that includes your partner.

In fact, not all sincere apology, stemming from true remorse.

It can be said because you want it.

If your partner truly does care about you and wants to repair the relationship, they will apologize without any excuses.

They might be apologetic for what they did and don’t try to justify how they behaved.

Moreover, they would understand what they did wrong and there is no excuse for it.

It’s those simple apologies with no excuses that are a sign that your partner wants to repair your relationship and genuinely cares.

But if you get an apology with a bunch of justifications, then it’s a sign your partner might not be up to no good.

In these cases, they start to apologize for what they did and immediately try to justify their behavior.

When you tell them that it was wrong, they would say things like:

  • “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  • “It wasn’t as bad as you think.”
  • “I’m not sure why you had that impression.”

You would think they genuinely apologize and move on, but they don’t.  

They keep trying to justify their actions and make excuses for what they did.

This might be a sign that your partner is just trying to get you back into their good graces and eventually, it could be a never-ending spiral of bad behavior.

13) He voluntarily gives up bad habits

If he’s ready to apologize and make things right, he will be willing to give up bad habits that have been causing a rift between you.

He will also be more open to improving certain aspects of his personality and lifestyle and try to make positive changes because he understands that he needs them in order to be with you.

And do you know?

This is the most obvious sign that will happen if he knows that he really is wrong.

If he doesn’t make any efforts to change himself then he will definitely hurt you again in the future for the same reason.

14) He shows that he appreciates you more than before

When you’re together, he finds more opportunities to show you his appreciation. 

Different from before, his actions and words are really sincere.

He is more easygoing and you’ll see him smile and laugh more often, which is quite an improvement from before.

Not only that, he will even be a little less strict with you, at least in public. 

He’s also very considerate of your feelings and sometimes takes it upon himself to do the little things that make you happy, such as bringing you a cup of coffee in the morning, but without expecting anything in return.

When he wants to re-establish a connection with you, he will ask about your daily activities, friends, or family, and sometimes, he might even ask you what makes you happy or sad lately.

15) His social media says it all

In social media, you might see that he’s constantly updating his status or posting on his friend’s wall.

He might even come up with a video apologizing and expressing how sorry he is for hurting you.

He might take the initiative to reply to your comments, messages, or videos even though you told him not to do so anymore.

If he really feels bad about what he did, then this is how he will express it through his social media.

Trust me, this man is not planning to do this just for the sake of it.


It’s a new beginning and he’s more willing to make changes again.

He is actually really sorry and even feels bad about everything that has happened between you.

If everything I mentioned above is the case, then he wants to be with you and wants things to go back to how it was before.

So, I hope this article helped you to take the initiative to let him know how much you care about him and that he can be a better man.

Finally, I am so glad that he apologized and changed, and that we now have a chance to start over.