15 undeniable signs he is pretending not to care (even though he really does!)

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Have you ever felt confused if a man cares about you or not?

You don’t know what’s going on because he gives you vague signals?

You know, there are men who will be frank and let you know how they feel about you.

However, many do not like this expression and sometimes their actions can become extremely confusing and mysterious.

When a person pretends not to care about something, it can mean all kinds of things.

It could be that they are trying to hide their true feelings from you.

Or that they truly do not know what they are feeling.

To help you make it clear, here is a list of 15 undeniable signs that someone really cares about you, but is always trying to pretend not to show that.

In case he and you haven’t been in a relationship:

1) He acts hot and cold towards you

Being treated by someone when it’s hot, when it’s cold – maybe this is something we’ve all gone through, right?

There are moments when they will text you all day and then, they will completely ignore you, disappearing without any sign.

There are some days he tries to talk to you, but some days he keeps quiet.

This action will definitely make you wonder if they care about you or if you’re just thinking too much.

If they show these signs, it’s usually because they feel uncertain about what they want and feel about you.

Therefore, sometimes he shows it with his true feelings.

He wants to text you, he texts. He wants to talk to you, he talks.

But sometimes, he tries to hide these feelings and keep them to himself.

This way they won’t need to explain their actions as well as when they “miss” to show too much affection.

2) He does things for you that he doesn’t want anyone to know about

If he didn’t care about you, there would be no reason for him to do these things.

He may not tell you himself, but he may be doing it behind your back while you don’t even realize it.

When someone is doing something nice for you behind your back, that can mean a few different things.

It could mean that they have feelings for you and want to get closer to you without having to come right out and say it.

It could also mean that they don’t want people to know about it, because they don’t want other people thinking about what they do.

3) His eyes for you

Eye contact is the most recognizable and genuine sign for you to realize if he cares about you or has any feelings with you.

Normally, he is usually very confident and comfortable with everyone around him.

However, his eyes look shy or confused and turn away when he talks to you.

Here are the details:

When anyone talks to you, he listens very carefully and then looks at you for a long time.

And when you meet that gaze, he will avoid, be embarrassed and find some action to pretend to look the other way.

There are times when you will feel him staring at you, but every time you turn around, he tends to avoid it.

If you deliberately look him in the eye, he will pretend to be doing something and won’t dare look at you.

When you turn your gaze, he turns his gaze back to you.

This is an undeniable sign that he cares about you discreetly and tenderly!

4) He says nothing but listens to what you say

When you talk he listens carefully.

He gives you his undivided attention.

He cares about your feelings and is willing to listen to you without interrupting.

So, what can this sign mean?

It shows that he is interested in what you have to say. It shows that he wants to make sure you feel heard.

He wants you to be more inclined to share your thoughts and feelings with him, while he tries to not look at you directly.

All of these are good things!

If you feel like he’s really listening to what you have to say even though he is pretending to not listen at all, take advantage of this opportunity.

After all, why would he want to waste his time with you if he doesn’t like you?

The simple truth is he really likes and cares about you.

5) He lends a helping hand whenever you need it

A guy who offers to help you is an attractive quality.

He may be shy or awkward at first, but then he’s willing to help out with good intentions.

He’s usually there when you need help and does not expect anything in return.

By helping you out, he feels validated and important.

He feels a sense of responsibility toward you and wants to make sure that you have everything that you need.

It’s funny that he will do all of this with a “don’t care” looking face.

So take notice!!!

You should keep in mind that only if he likes you, he will be more likely to help you because he cares about you.

In other words, the more he cares about you, the more likely he is to be willing to help you out.

Whatever the case, he will do everything in his power to make sure that you have a great time.

So, be sure to show him that you appreciate his kindness by saying “Thank You” often.

And if possible, please return his kindness sincerely!

Who knows, he might be the one you’re looking for.

But how can you know for sure you’ve met your soulmate, “the one” you’re supposed to be with?

The truth is:

Unless you know for sure, you could end up wasting emotions and time on a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you.

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6) You see his appearance more often than before.

Seeing that person you care about every day can be very reassuring and can help you to feel more comfortable with the diagnosis.

It can also help to remind you that there is something that is being done to help you feel better.

The more someone cares about you, the easier it is for that person to make time for you.

This can be especially true if the person has a busy schedule and doesn’t have time to stop by often.

His appearance may just be a flash in front of your eyes and you accidentally see him.

Or it could be the times he met you and asked you a question or two and then left.

These may be accidental.

But if it happens often in an unusual way, there’s a good chance he’s doing it on purpose.

In order that he can see you and you notice him too.

So, if you are in this situation, don’t think too much about whether he notices you or not.

Because there’s a very high possibility that the answer is yes, and he’s just pretending not to care.

7) He gets on with your friends and family

You can be sure that he is just pretending not to care about you when you see he gets on with your friends and family.

He might be embarrassed about the fact that he likes you, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.

Either way, he feels unsure of whether or not you like them back.

It’s probably because he is trying to hide his true feelings.

More likely than not, though, he’s just being a gentleman and trying to keep the relationship platonic.

But if you feel like something more is going on, it’s probably right.

When he cares about someone close to you, there is always a chance that he might have feelings for you.

People who care about you will want to get on with those you are close to.

Therefore, they won’t mind getting on well with your friends and family.

8) He often asks questions about your friend or things around you instead of you

When a man really cares about you but he doesn’t want you to know this, he will try to pretend not to care by not asking too much about you.

Instead, in the conversation between you and him, he will ask a lot of questions about your friend, your colleagues, your brother/sister, or anyone around you that he’s known about.

It sounds strange, isn’t it?

Let me explain.

He likes you but at this time he feels uncertain about his feelings. On one hand, he wants to see you and talk to you.

On the other hand, he doesn’t want you to feel that he cares about you or has any special feelings with you.

So, he pretends not to care about you but about people around you although deep in his heart he wants to ask a thousand questions about only you.

He may ask some questions such as:

– Will Ms.X (your friend) join the party this weekend?

– How is your little brother’s studies? Does he study harder? Are your parents still worried about him?

– Has Mr.Y (your coworker) returned to work? Is everything going well?

That’s it.

By asking about other people like that, he can let you feel he doesn’t care about you directly.

9) His behavior changes when he’s with you or around you.

Have you noticed that when a guy realizes they like or love you, they become different, not as natural as before.

Some guys who are shy or introverted try to hide it by being cold, rude, or doing something different to your liking to get their attention.

I will show you some of these different behaviors:

First, if he smiles more than everyone else when you talk to him, there’s a solid chance that he’s into you. You can simply make him happy, and he feels it.

Second, if a guy has a hot temper but when facing you, he is very quiet and gentle, that is exactly a sign of a secret crush.

Third, if a guy likes you, he will show signs of fluttering or heart palpitations when he’s around you.

In addition, some people also show signs such as a forced smile, sweaty palms, always fidgeting, stammering when alone with you, it’s because he is stressed.

Don’t make him shy when you see him with these expressions.

You may wonder why the guy won’t tell you he likes you.

Maybe it’s the fear that you don’t like him.

That’s why he hesitated.

He may pretend that they don’t like you verbally, but in the end his body language will reflect all the truth.

In case he and you have some arguments when you are in relationship:

10) He did something for you without being asked

When two of you have a conflict, he doesn’t say a word as if he does care about you.

However, he did something for you in silence.

He didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make you feel bad.

So he did what he thought was best, and kept things simple.

He does small things for you, like making coffee and packing your lunch.

He sent you a note, or left a voicemail.

He didn’t try to overdo it, and let you come to him when you were ready.

He showed his love in small ways – by caring for your needs, by bringing food when you were hungry, etc.

And when those small gestures are combined with a sense of respect and patience, they can have a huge impact in the long run.

So when he does something nice for you, even if it isn’t spoken out loud, know that he gets used to caring about your well-being and thinks that it’s his responsibility.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

11) He invites you to hang out with his friends

Because you two are mad at each other, he can’t directly make it up with you.

Therefore, he plans to invite you to hang out with his friends, or maybe your friends.

Having them will make it less awkward for him to try to talk to you or care about you.

“He just wants your friends to see that your relationship is fine and progressing very well.”

He wants you to think so instead of thinking that he wants to make up with you.

He thinks it’s going to be hard to talk to you himself when you’re mad at each other.

He just wants to show you that he doesn’t care about you anymore because you upset him.

But really in his heart he really wants to take care of you, so he needs friends to help him be more natural.

By that way, during that hanging out, two of you can more easily talk to each other and possibly make up afterwards.

But remember!

You two also need to talk about the past conflict in order that it will not happen in the future

12) He wants to know everything about you through your friends

Because of being annoyed with the partner, you two don’t meet or talk with each other.

However, some of your friends often ask you about your situation.

How was your day?

Which cafe are you going to today?

What will you do this weekend?

In this case, you can be sure that these are not your friend’s questions, but his.

Maybe because you upset him, he doesn’t want to show you he cares about you.

So he can’t ask you directly but needs your friend’s help.

13) He makes excuses to talk to or text you constantly

He makes excuses to talk to or text you constantly when you two are in a cold war, and it’s obvious he doesn’t want the relationship to end.

He’ll say anything like he wants to return something you forgot or you forgot something.

And when you contact him, he may tell you that he can’t talk because of work, but really he’s just trying to keep the conversation going longer.

This behavior shows that he is uncomfortable being alone but he doesn’t want you to know it as well.

So believe me, don’t think too much about whether he really cares about you.

He does really!

He’s just pretending not.

In case he and you have broken up.

14) He still keeps in touch with people around you

When you get into a relationship with someone, it’s normal to want to introduce them to your friends and family.

But after a breakup, it can be hard to keep the lines of communication open.

However, you see your ex act like that while he doesn’t care about you anymore.

You must be feeling confused, right?

There are a lot of reasons.

The most common is that he still cares about you and wants to stay in contact with you but he’s pretending not.

If this is the case, he probably will not intentionally break your heart by ignoring you or doing anything else that would hurt your feelings.

So if you notice that he keeps in touch with people around you, but not with you, it’s probably because he cares about you and wants to protect your feelings.

15) He is present everywhere you go

If you meet your ex wherever you go, it’s definitely not by accident, it’s his intention to meet you.

You two had a good time together, so he’ll know the places you often drop by.

You see him everywhere from social networking sites to coffee shops.

His presence creates familiarity like when you two were still in love.

The fact that he appears in your life shows that your ex still loves you and wants to get back.

Because, if he no longer loves you, he will definitely avoid meeting you and never try to meet you so much.


When a person pretends not to care about something, it can mean all kinds of things.

It could be that he is trying to hide their true feelings from you or that they truly do not know what they are feeling.

And they will do anything they can to hide their true feelings.

When they are alone, they might think a lot about you: “You’re great”, “You’re so sweet”, “It’s good to have you”, or something similar.

But once you realize what’s going on, they’ll try to pretend like everything is normal.

Now, after reading 15 signs in 3 cases above, I hope you can tell if they’re really not interested in you or just pretending.