We all dream about Prince Charming…but what if Prince Charming wears a wedding band?
Married men are a mystery that can be quite hard to uncover.
This married man, in particular, is a puzzle that you can’t quite solve.
Does he care about you as a friend? Or does he actually see you as something more?
But he’s married! It would be crazy if he actually has feelings for you, right?
Rest easy, my friend; you’re not actually going crazy.
In this article, we will help you figure out if a married man is fighting his feelings for you—and what to do if you ever find yourself in this situation.
1) You catch him stealing glances at you
You know those sneaky glances.
Maybe you’re doing something—writing, drinking coffee, reading…
You look up, and there he is, looking at you; but he looks away as soon as you do.
This is typical behavior for men who are attracted to women.
Married men, of course, would try their best to hide it.
He likes looking at you, but he looks away when caught. This is because he feels ashamed of himself.
He’s married; how could he possibly want a woman other than his wife?
Even on social media, he probably tries to secretly flirt with you.
2) He constantly interacts with you on social media…but only directly.
A married man who likes you will:
- Like your selfies
- Reply to your stories, especially if they’re photos of yourself
- Send you many direct messages, usually complimenting you
As they say, flattery is the weapon that never misses.
But in this case, he’s trying to flatter you, but only secretly.
He will never reply to your tweets or leave a comment on your public posts.
After all, what would people think when they see a married man constantly interacting with another woman on social media?
Of course, he doesn’t want that shame.
But he keeps doing it when it’s only between the two of you because part of him still wants you to know he appreciates you.
3) He is oddly curious about your love life
You can feel that he is unusually interested in your love life—
He asks how many exes you have.
If you’re currently dating someone.
Maybe even how many men you’ve had sex with, if he’s that bold.
Married men have no business knowing about the love and sex lives of other women.
Him being curious about your love life is a sign that he’s interested in you.
He’s probably insecure, trying to find out who his competition is, and maybe even how to weed them out.
And you can feel his jealousy when you talk about them.
4) He gets jealous of other guys
“You think he’s cute? But he cares so much about his hair! He’s obviously really vain.”
“What’s the deal with you and that guy? You two seem close.”
Has he ever said any of these, or maybe something similar?
If yes, that is a clear indication that he’s jealous.
You may be wondering, “but why? We’re not actually together, and he’s married!”
To that I say—exactly.
Exhibiting jealousy is a tell-tale sign that he’s into you.
He’s insecure of the other guys around you—and he wants to be the only one that you pay attention to.
5) He’s sometimes rude to you
Have you ever tried talking to him, just to be rudely warded off?
Does he seem grumpy when you interact with him sometimes?
You haven’t even done anything to him, so why is he so needlessly rude?
This could mean that he’s trying to drive you away.
Obviously, he can’t say that he’s trying not to fall in love with you because that would give him away.
Try not to take it personally, though.
He’s probably just trying his best to do what is right.
6) He tries to relate to you
When you talk, he says he likes the things you like.
He expresses unusual interest in your hobbies, even if you never pegged him as the type to have these interests.
If he’s trying to relate to you, it means he’s interested in you and wants to form some type of connection.
Men do these when they’re attracted to you.
A married man especially knows how to, because he’s had experience.
Despite this, sometimes he still pulls away and gives you mixed signals, and you just don’t understand what he wants.
7) He gives mixed signals
One minute, he’s showering you with compliments as if you’re the love of his life…
Then the next, he’s rudely fending you off like you’re his mortal enemy.
One day, he’s constantly texting you…
Then the other, you hear absolutely nothing from him.
If he does any of these, it means he’s confused between pursuing you and staying away from you.
Should he act on his feelings and betray his wife and family, or should he stay away from you and do what is right?
He tries too hard to act like a friend, even when it’s so obvious that he’s hiding his feelings for you.
8) He tries to emphasize his ‘friendship’ with you.
Telling him he cares about you as a “friend” or as “family” is a sign that he’s trying to protect himself from his own feelings.
By constantly telling you this, he may also be trying to convince himself that his feelings for you are only there because he cares about you as a friend.
But no matter how much he tells you you’re “just friends,” the way he acts gives him away…
9) His body language gives him away
Do his ears and cheeks get red when you compliment him? He’s flustered.
Does he get a little jittery when you’re chatting? You make him nervous.
Does he try to touch your hand secretly when you’re talking? It means he wants you, but doesn’t want anyone else to know.
Try to observe his body language, because how he acts can give away his feelings for you.
Even if his words say otherwise, his body cannot lie.
10) He texts you all the time.
A few texts here and there about professional matters is OK. This is how ordinary colleagues interact.
However, if the texts come day and night and they’re mostly about personal rather than professional matters, that is not an ordinary interaction between platonic colleagues.
A man, especially a married man, should not be interested in texting you regularly, especially about intimate details of his life—he has a wife he should be doing that with.
He may even share some intimate details of his life with you in these texts.
11) He shares intimate details of his life with you.
Maybe he’s told you something he’s never told anybody else before.
Maybe he’s told you about his childhood traumas.
Maybe he’s told you about his past.
If he shares intimate details of his life with you, this is a surefire sign that he’s attracted to you, especially if these are things he’s never told anybody else.
Him doing this with you rather than with his wife could be a sign that you are able to make him feel something that his wife cannot—understanding and patience.
Which is why he also complains so much about his marriage.
12) He makes it clear that he is married…but complains to you about it.
You’ve heard him say he’s married in front of everyone. Maybe he even talks about his wife sometimes, with you and everybody else.
But he also complains—only with you—about how boring it is, about how much he misses the joys being single.
On the one hand, he tries to stay faithful to his wife by letting you know he’s married.
On the other, he constantly complains about his marriage—how his wife is driving him crazy, how there’s no passion in their relationship anymore…
He wants you to know he’s unavailable, but is also deeply unsatisfied in his marriage, which is probably the main reason he pays you so much attention.
13) He gives you more attention than he does with others
He says he’s just a friend, but he always seems interested in what you have to say.
He says he’s just a friend, but he remembers everything you tell him.
He says he’s just a friend, but he always says yes when you ask for help.
These are not things a married man does with a friend or a colleague.
If he does any of these with you, it means he sees you as more than just a friend.
A man who has feelings for you will treat you more specially than he treats everybody else, because he cares about you, even if he tries to hide it.
14) He tries to hide that he cares about you
Does he constantly tell you he cares about you as a friend?
Does he sometimes pull away, even if on other days he’s sweet and caring?
Does he ignore you when you’re in a room full of people, but acts otherwise when you’re alone?
If a married man has feelings for you, it is vital for him to act on his feelings in secret for two reasons:
- Because he’s ashamed of his feelings, and:
- Because he doesn’t want anyone else to know.
But no matter how much he tries to hide it, some people may still end up noticing what’s going on.
15) Your friends notice it.
With the time you spend together and how he acts around you, your friends could notice what’s going on.
If your friends have noticed, take this as validation—it means you’re not alone in thinking that this man might have feelings for you.
Be careful, though! If your friends notice it, it means other people might notice it, too.
In that case, it is probably best to stay away from him.
I think he has feelings for me…what now?
Research shows that more than 20% of married men cheat on their wives.
Him showing interest in you despite being married is therefore not unusual.
Now that you know a married man is interested in you, here are some things you could do about the situation:
1) Be careful around him
A married man is an unavailable man.
He could be showing interest in you because he’s feeling bored in his marriage and is only looking for the thrill of the chase.
Maybe he’s in a tough situation with his wife.
Maybe he wants sex.
But whatever it is he’s looking for, in the end, he will probably choose his wife and family. It would be difficult for him to do so otherwise.
This means that you should be careful around him.
Try not to get too invested in his games, don’t get too involved with him.
It could end up with you getting hurt, and it would be best that you distance yourself from him.
2) Distance yourself from him
If he’s not leaving you for good, it is better that you do the leaving.
Dilly-dallying, especially with someone who is unavailable, could often be thrilling.
Maybe you could even start thinking that he might choose you over his wife, after all.
However, getting involved in a relationship with a married man is always messy, because there’s always other parties involved.
People could think lowly of you if they find out.
Ask yourself, do I want to get involved in this mess?
You probably don’t, do you?
3) Don’t flirt back
Flirting back with a married man is only adding fuel to the fire.
It encourages him to pursue you, because you’ve shown interest.
But there is no certainty with someone who is married.
Yes, the thrill of the chase feels good, but in the long run, there is no certainty as to how it will end.
If you want him to choose you over his wife and family, know that there is no guarantee that this will happen.
4) Try to confront him
Analyze the situation—if you think you could have a civil conversation with him, try to confront him.
Ask him what he wants, and why he keeps seemingly flirting with you, even if he’s married.
He might try to deny it, or he might actually admit it.
Either way, how he will react and answer to your confrontation can only help you determine how to move forward.
5) Put yourself in his wife’s shoes
Understand that it’s not just you and him involved.
He is married, which means he has a wife (and maybe even children).
Try to put yourself in the wife’s situation.
If you were married, you wouldn’t want to find out that your husband’s been flirting with other women behind your back, would you?
If he and his wife are strictly monogamous, it is best to stay away.
After all, it is never fun to get caught in the middle of a married couple’s marriage issues.
On the other hand, maybe he and his wife are in an open marriage. In that case, you can learn more about open relationships here!