In a relationship with a narcissist? What you need to know about narcissistic relationship pattern

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Being in an unhealthy relationship is hard. But being in a relationship with a narcissist is even harder.

So, if you’re one of the people who’s in this situation, there’s something that you need to be aware of; being in a relationship with a narcissist means being a victim of circumstances over which you have no control and everything always revolves around them.

Narcissists tend to use people and if you’re in a relationship with one, we will tell you what you need to know about narcissistic relationships:

1) You feel lonely being in this relationship

Narcissistic relationships are characterized by a lack of intimacy, feelings of boredom and emptiness, poor communication, conflicts without resolutions, and frequent criticism.

If you’re in a narcissist’s orbit, you’ve probably been on your toes practically all the time in order to keep up with their demands and demands.

However, this type of “relationship” is even more damaging than the typical unhealthy relationships because narcissists tend to be deceptive about their own emotions.

This is because a narcissist has no real interest in you, unless you make them money or give them what they want. 

Although narcissists’ partners always leave them, most narcissists rarely leave their relationships. This is because they know they can easily replace the person who is leaving them. 

2) Narcissists don’t understand you and mostly focus on themselves

Narcissists are incapable of loving anyone other than themselves. It’s not that they don’t want to love, it’s that they literally cannot make themselves feel any kind of emotion for someone else. 

Their lack of empathy is so extreme that if you tell them your child died or your dog died or your mother died or your own life is at stake…they simply cannot make themselves care. The result is that when narcissists break up, they usually don’t feel anything.

According to a psychologist expert, this is because narcissists are not only incapable of feeling something for other people, but they don’t even feel something for themselves. 

They literally won’t feel anything in general. Furthermore, the only time they feel anything is when they prove to be superior to someone or when someone proves their superiority over them. These are like the only things that can make them feel something and these are all the reasons why narcissists discard people.

For example: If you’re having problems with your mental health or if you have a mental illness, they won’t get mad at you like people who don’t suffer from these illnesses would. On the contrary, they will feel sorry for you. 

This is because if someone suffers from a mental illness, they are more likely to be very vulnerable and dependent on other people.

In turn, this means that the narcissist will actually feel bad for you: It’s just that their conscience doesn’t work in the same way as yours and whenever someone else is suffering from something wrong, the narcissist simply cannot let her feelings be hurt.

3) There is dominance in your relationship

Narcissists will always be dominant in a relationship, even though they might not really feel that way.

In fact, if you get involved with a narcissist or if you have been involved with them, chances are that you’re the one who was being controlled and dominated all along.

Narcissists are extremely self-confident people with a strong sense of who they are and what they want. 

This strong sense of self allows them to enter relationships without fear of rejection since “they don’t need anyone”. They don’t get attached emotionally because they know that any relationship can be discarded at any moment without consequences, so there’s simply no point in doing so.

Needless to say, it’s normal to want to avoid conflict in a relationship and this is why many hours after the breakup is already set and done, the narcissist is still acting as if everything is fine and there are no problems. 

This keeps you in an illusion for hours until it’s too late for you to take any action about it since as far as you know there are no problems whatsoever.

For example: if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, chances are that you don’t feel like arguing with them or fighting against the control that they have over your life. However, there are several cases where women have been in relationships with narcissists for years and they were never really aware of the fact that they were being controlled.

Even though this is what most people would think, this is not true. 

You see, narcissists tend to be very emotional and therefore they will get very angry very quickly when something upsets them.

4) Narcissists are the opposite of what they seem to be. 

People who interact with them tend to see them as charismatic and attractive in a very short time, while on the other hand, they don’t know what’s at the back of it all and how far their love is going to be felt by their partners.

However, that’s not all about narcissists; at least, most narcissists have an inferiority complex as well.

The reason why is that a narcissist’s ideal relationship with someone they love (or even just like) is called an “Eternal Fatigue Cycle,” meaning that they tire and need rest when they have taken from their partner all they needed at the moment.

This is pretty clear when it comes to a narcissist’s relationship with their parents. They will go running back to them when they are upset and hurt and the only thing that runs through their mind is that their parents will take care of them.

However, this doesn’t happen all the time; sometimes it takes a while until they break down and they start missing her parents or even crying because they miss them so much.

This is how it works with narcissists’ lovers as well: You suddenly feel like you’re no longer in love with your partner or you don’t feel like hanging out with him/her, then it’s because your partner has taken all he or she needed from you and now he or she feels very tired of you.

5) The ability to deny reality, distort information, and gloss over faults is a crucial skill for narcissists to have. That’s because if they don’t do that, then they would never be able to maintain any kind of relationship at all.

Since narcissists spend the rest of their lives scanning social situations for any vulnerability or weakness in other people, their illusions are completely shattered and their self image starts collapsing if you tell them about it. 

They feel like the person who is supposed to love them is actually criticizing them deeply and this just puts them into panic mode.

They want you to think that everything is fine, but deep inside they know this isn’t true at all. 

Especially when they’re deep inside their thought process, they know that you still want to talk about the problem with them and this is why they feel tremendous discomfort.

Going back to the example of the narcissist’s parents: If you try to tell your partner about how much you miss your parent(s) and how much you’d like to get in touch with them, chances are that your partner will say something like “You don’t have time for all these things.

You should just take care of me instead.” And this is where it gets confusing for most people because they won’t see enough flaws in their partners’ behavior.

6) Being in a relationship with a narcissist is very confusing, especially if you don’t know what’s going on.

 Neurotypical people tend to be extremely hurt when they realize that they were treated like an object all along. They will ask themselves why didn’t they notice it before or how did such an abusive relationship happen to them, when in reality, the answer is really simple:

Narcissists are abusers. They are not usually violent or cruel but they will use their intelligence in order to manipulate your feelings and actions. Most of the time, their partners don’t actually see this because it happens little by little and very subtly until it’s too late for them to recognize it as abuse.

Truth is, it’s not the narcissist’s fault. Not at all. But the thing about them is that they don’t actually see that it’s abuse because they’re in their own world and they feel like nothing is ever wrong with them; so when you hit them, they don’t see it as abuse.

7) The narcissist usually exhibits a very odd behavior when he or she finds out that someone is unhappy with his or her behavior, i.e., they will want to fix things and make everything alright again.

Sounds absurd, but it’s the truth. Mainly because there is something missing for them in their lives, this is why they will tend to focus on your feelings like you’re the center of their world.

For example, let’s say that your partner says something to you and you feel hurt by it. You might want to ignore it and think about it later when you feel better, but narcissists are the opposite of this trait. 

They don’t want things to be alright again; they want everything to be resolved as soon as possible so that if there ever were a problem, they won’t have any room for feelings of dissatisfaction.

This is especially true in situations like these: They want you to be happy and they will try everything to achieve this; so, if you’re unhappy or you feel like something is wrong, it’s quite likely that your partner will start trying to fix it.

That’s not all that they do when they don’t feel happy: They will blame someone or something else for their failure and they’ll do this in order to regain control over the situation. 

This can be another person, but most of the time it’ll be themselves.

8) In a lot of cases, narcissists only feel really good in relationships with other narcissists.

This happens because they can easily manipulate other narcissists’ behavior and they don’t see their flaws. 

So, it’s only natural that they feel like this whenever they’re with people who are like them.

But there’s some kind of problem when you think about it: Not all narcissists have the same character traits; some are more extreme than others (like those who are extremely narcissistic), so the chances of your partner being able to understand you at all when you’re talking about your feelings with other people is very small, so he or she wouldn’t understand what you’re going through even if he or she wanted to.

For example: If you’re feeling like you’re in a relationship with someone who’s very narcissistic, chances are that your partner will just see this as meaningless complaining. So your partner will probably try to change your mind, because they don’t think that this person is actually bad for them:

“I’m not a narcissist! This person is not good for me! We can be more like this other person.” Which of course makes you feel even worse about yourself and everything else.

9) Narcissists’ behavior can change quite often; therefore it’s really important to pay close attention if there’s something wrong in the relationship with them, or if there are any noticeable changes in it.

It’s always very important to know if you’re dealing with a narcissist or if it’s just one of those phases they go through; it’s quite possible that they will try to manipulate you into thinking that something is wrong in the relationship, when in reality there isn’t anything wrong.

I call these kinds of people “phases” because their behavior can change really frequently and this doesn’t necessarily mean that there were any issues at all. It could just be a phase which lasts for a few weeks or months, but this kind of behavior won’t last forever. 

According to the book ”The New Science of Narcissism ”,narcissists like to take on a new persona when in a relationship with someone else: In their first relationship they’ll be the stereotypical narcissist, which is narcissistic and self-absorbed, but then they’ll suddenly change and become loving, caring and attentive; and soon after that, they’ll move on to another person.

This book also tells us that narcissists don’t see their own flaws in any way whatsoever; they don’t see anything wrong in themselves when they start a new relationship.

10) Narcissists are usually very attentive and they will do anything they can in their power to make you happy and satisfied.

When you’re caught in a relationship with a narcissist, even if you don’t know it’s a relationship with a narcissist at the time because of his or her good looks (which are very seductive), you will always feel special to them, because narcissists always want to feel good about themselves. 

They see other people as mirrors which reflect their own feelings so they’ll try their best to give you whatever it is that they think makes them feel better about themselves.

11) Narcissists are very insecure people; this is why they tend to focus a lot of their attention on their lovers and they want everything in their relationship to be perfect.

Another relationship pattern with narcissists is that they will feel very insecure about themselves, but when in a relationship with someone else, you can be sure that they’re trying to get your attention like crazy. 

They do this because they need you to make them feel good about themselves, otherwise they’ll feel worthless.

For example : Narcissists show their insecure side when they don’t get the attention they want from you, which can be in a lot of situations. They can react in a very aggressive way if you ignore them and some narcissists won’t even talk to you for a month or two.

What to do in this situation?

It’s best to give them a couple of compliments over a period of time, and make sure they elaborate on what you say.

For example : If you say “your new haircut looks great”, the narcissist will not thank you for that compliment, but instead ask you questions about what kind of haircut it was and which hairdresser did it. The reason for this is that no one can tell a narcissist something nice about themselves without them craving for more information about it.

12) Narcissists will always try to manipulate others; even if there’s no need for this, especially if it wasn’t a big deal at all in the first place.

This relationship pattern tends to happen when there are conflicts or arguments between narcissists and their partners, because they’ll never stop trying to find something that will give them the upper hand.

For example: The narcissist will get mad at you for some reason, or he or she will feel that something is wrong about you and this will make them think that no one likes them anymore. And if you say anything that reminds the narcissist of this feeling, they’ll completely change their behavior towards you and they’ll try everything they can in order to manipulate your mind and make you think that they’re right.

This is something a lot of people complain about with narcissists: that they exaggerate their feelings, usually in order to gain the upper hand and manipulate you in any way necessary.

13) Narcissists aren’t very good at sending signals or showing emotions like most other people are capable of doing; this is why it’s an indicator of a problem when you pay attention to it.

One of the most important things to remember about narcissists is that they do not show emotions easily and when you want them to, they’ll make you feel like you’re bothering them by asking for something. 

They don’t seem like they care what other people think about them; if they do, they will try their best to hide it.

Because of that, relationships with them may feel offsetting sometimes. You tend to feel like you are always the one who has to take care of them and make them feel good.

According to the book, ”The New Science of Narcissism”, this is because narcissists believe they deserve all the attention in the world; they think they’re better than everyone else and that they should always get what it is that they want.

So, if you see yourself in this situation, know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is a narcissist and they will always want attention from you, even if they don’t want to show it.

14) Narcissists get jealous very easily, even if they didn’t experience any loss whatsoever.

Narcissists are very jealous people, even if it doesn’t make sense for them to feel that way; they’ll get jealous of a lot of things that don’t make sense at all. They’ll get jealous of their own friends sometimes, just because one of their friends might have something the narcissist hates about themselves. 

This especially true if the narcissist is jealous of someone in your life. If they are, there’s a chance they might end up cheating on you because they just want to make you feel like they’re the only one who matters.

For example: You might see them getting jealous of your best friend, who is just there to get a laugh out of them and make them feel better about themselves; if that happens, it’s pretty easy to imagine what consequences this could have.

I think you will agree with me when I say that now that you know more about narcissists and how they act, you can recognize them much easier in social situations. It’s important to know what they’re doing so you can avoid it so that there’s less chance of getting hurt in the future.

Don’t get caught up in the narcissists’ selfish facade; instead, exactly as I said before, don’t get close to them because chances are that it won’t last long and you’ll break their hearts even sooner than expected.

And lastly, think about this as you go through life: don’t be like a narcissist, always think about what is good for the people around you and how they will respond to your actions. Being a good person can do miracles in your life and help you build great relationships with others.

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