Because falling in love is messy and confusing. There’re so many things to consider:
How compatible are you? Is this person right for you? Do you trust them? Are they your soulmate? Do you want the same things from this relationship?…
With so many questions flying around, it’s no wonder that doubts are inevitable, and it’s totally normal to have doubts in a relationship.
But they’re also doubts that mustn’t be ignored. So, if you find yourself asking any of the 15 questions below, it may be time to seriously give your relationship a second look.
1) Is my partner being honest?
Transparency is one of the key elements in any healthy and long-lasting relationship.
You may have heard this a million times. However, trust me, it’s always right!
Along with communication, honesty is a fundamental component of every relationship.
Doubting about your partner’s willingness, to be honest, and open is a red signal in a relationship that shouldn’t be overlooked.
If you’re beginning to have doubts about your partner’s honesty, it’s probably time to check in. Discuss the issue with your partner. Discuss how it impacts you and your relationship.
Instead of asking direct questions like: “Why do you keep lying to me?”, I recommend that you should ask indirect questions like: “Why aren’t your behaviors and words aligned? It makes me tremendously puzzled.”
Questioning their actions rather than them is an effective method to tackle dishonesty without putting your partner on the blast.
Also, don’t be afraid to mention your own behavior. Doing so will show your partner that you’re on their side and that you want a win-win result for both of you.
2) Am I being loyal?
In contrast to the upper doubts. Sometimes you may doubt yourself as well!
You might ask yourself:
Am I loyal in this relationship? Am I being honest with myself and my partner? Is it more important for me to end this relationship or to improve it? Is it time for a break-up?…
These questions may seem like a sign of self-defeat.
Again, loyalty is an integral part of being in a relationship. In fact, loyalty is one of the most fundamental characteristics.
So, if you feel like you aren’t being loyal to your partner, it may be time to check yourself.
The way to deal with this doubt is, to be honest.
To be honest with yourself and your partner. Discuss your doubts, fears, and feelings. Try to understand what you really want from this relationship, and act accordingly.
Acknowledge that you’re having doubts. Talk about your issues with your partner. And don’t worry!
You can always change behavior and improve a relationship. So, your partner will love you for it!
3) Is my partner loyal?
When you two were in the flirting stage, you may question whether they’re chatting to anybody else.
However, once you and your partner have set your romantic relationship, the question shouldn’t be the case.
Our gut instinct often tells us when something is wrong.
If you feel like there are doubts in your relationship, it’s highly likely that they aren’t actual contentions but vague uncertainties.
So, if we have doubts about our partner’s loyalty, it’s a significant red flag that has to be investigated.
Whether they’re being stuck to their phone, arriving home at odd hours, or just seeming walled off.
If you have a hunch that anything fishy is going on, talk it over with a trusted friend or your relatives.
However, the best way to go about this problem is to be direct with them. Always talk about these uncertainties with your partner directly.
Discuss your issues with your partner, and be clear and non-accusing.
If they get furious or attempt to gaslight you, it’s typically an indicator proving that your gut was right.
While this article explores the main relationship doubts you shouldn’t ignore, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like infidelity. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
4) Am I the third wheel?
You may be the third person without your recognition.
He/she may have already been in a relationship and your two’s is just an extra one.
No ifs, and, or buts. This is something that you need to talk about with your partner.
I am sure you may have met some people who are in a relationship but with someone other than their partner. Well, this’s a situation that shouldn’t be ignored as well.
If you’re in a relationship with somebody already in an existing one, you’re in a triangle.
This’s the worst position to be in! The third party never gets all the love they deserve. They always get less than two other people. It may even lead to jealousy, resentment, and so on.
As we discussed earlier, it’s always better to work out your issues directly and honestly with your partner.
Discuss it with your partner directly and check if they have feelings for the other person.
5) Is my partner still interested in me?
You may be thinking, “Is he/she interested in me or is it just about the sex?”
As you probably know yourself, it’s always difficult to figure out whether your partner is actually interested in you or not.
If he/she no longer truly loves you, then there might be a problem with the relationship.
This kind of doubt is a very common question among people, and it’s one of the most crucial issues to deal with during a relationship.
You may recognize that your partner might not be entirely interested in you. He/she might be just playing around without considering you in a deeper manner.
The best way to check this doubt is to open up about your concerns.
In this way, you’ll learn if it’s time to move forward or if someone else is involved.
But if the answer still remains unanswered then it’s time to check on their motivations for the relationship.
6) Is our relationship built on solid ground?
If you doubt that the foundation of your relationship is shaky, it’s a bad sign which shouldn’t be overlooked.
You may have already noticed your partner showing signs of disrespect or disloyalty to you. They may be avoiding commitments or responsibilities with you.
Or you might have trouble with trust, communication, and commitment in this kind of relationship.
In such situations, you need to acknowledge that you don’t trust your partner fully. This isn’t a good sign as a healthy relationship is built on trust, dedication, and respect.
However, while doubting your partner’s loyalty, it would be good to check your own loyalty as well.
If you have doubts about your partner working on winning you over, it’s a sign that you’re moving too fast in a relationship.
When two people are in love, they often tend to take each other for granted and don’t realize how much they mean in each other’s lives until it’s too late.
This can become more apparent after a few years of being together when you start questioning the status of your relationship.
7) Does my partner lower my self-confidence?
If you’re wondering whether your self-confidence is being lowered by your partner, this is definitely a doubt that mustn’t be ignored!
We all know how important self-confidence is when it comes to relationships. This is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
Low self-confidence leads to unhealthy relationships, depression, and a broken personality. People with low self-esteem are often vulnerable to manipulation by their partners.
If your partner isn’t accepting of your individuality and treats you like a doormat, it’s a clear indication that your self-confidence is probably affected by them.
So, here’s the key solution to low self-confidence: Continuous Self-development!
So how can you overcome this feeling of being “stuck in a rut”?
Well, you need more than just willpower, that’s for sure.
I learned about this from Life Journal, created by the highly-successful life coach and teacher Jeanette Brown.
You see, willpower only takes us so far…the key to transforming your life into something you’re passionate and enthusiastic about takes perseverance, a shift in mindset, and effective goal setting.
And while this might sound like a mighty task to undertake, thanks to Jeanette’s guidance, it’s been easier to do than I could have ever imagined.
Now, you may wonder what makes Jeanette’s course different from all the other personal development programs out there.
It all comes down to one thing:
Jeanette isn’t interested in being your life coach.
Instead, she wants YOU to take the reins in creating the life you’ve always dreamt of having.
So if you’re ready to stop dreaming and start living your best life, a life created on your terms, one which fulfills and satisfies you, don’t hesitate to check out Life Journal.
Here’s the link once again.
8) Am I still my real self?
We all want to be our real selves and express ourselves fully. But many of us don’t know the concept of our own self.
Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t even know who we’re because we’re too busy worrying about what others think of us.
So we follow the footsteps of others, especially our partner when we’re in a relationship. As a result, we become more and more confused about who we really are.
Does that sound like your case?
You may have asked yourself:
“What am I doing here? What’s my purpose? What do I think? What do I want?”
You’ve lost your confidence and joy. You no longer love yourself. You no longer see your purpose. And you no longer see what you want.
You just follow your partner’s instructions and continually disappoint yourself in the process.
So how do you regain your confidence and find your purpose again?
The answer is simple: You need to discover who you’re and find out what you want instead of blindly following other people’s ideas.
It’s time to take back control of your life!
It’s all about being authentic and being true to yourself.
9) Has my partner changed?
Some people become suspicious when their partner suddenly becomes distant or when they begin to withhold information.
When you’re really interested in a person, what makes them nervous is if you’re going to turn up at home or not, find out about their friends, family, and private life.
Is that your case?
Have you ever wondered if your partner has changed in some way? Have they suddenly become more distant, cold, and indifferent to you?
If there are changes in your partner’s behavior, it may be natural to question whether there’s something else going on that you mustn’t ignore!
You should investigate to find out the reason as soon as possible! If you keep ignoring it, your relationship may become worse!
10) Do our future goals match?
You aren’t required to date your duplicate. You and your partner could and should have differences in interests and personalities.
However, if you’re a follower of DINK (Double Income No Kid) but your partner creates a large family, this difference absolutely should be solved.
Do you and your partner feel that your views don’t correspond at all while discussing future plans and goals?
If that’s your case, you shouldn’t overlook it!
Everyone can change. Wanting something different from your partner doesn’t mean that your relationship is over.
Wanting something different from your partner doesn’t mean that your relationship is over.
It’s essential to evaluate the significance of the differences between your two goals.
Communication is always the key solution!
However, it’s totally normal to quit the relationship when your aims are too incompatible.
11) Are our values aligned?
Again, you and your partner don’t have to be exact replicas of one other.
If you’re a traveling lover and in your opinion, experiencing as many countries’ cultures as possible is your core life value while your partner prefers settling at a certain place rather than going outbound so often, then that’s a problem.
If you two have life values that are diametrically opposed to one another, you should better determine if this’s a manageable doubt or something that may possibly be an impediment to your relationship.
I recommend that you consider the significance, and how it would influence your emotions of happiness in this relationship.
12) Haven’t my partner got over their ex-lover?
This is such a serious doubt that you mustn’t ignore!
Signs that your partner hasn’t overcome his/her past relationship completely yet:
1. Your partner openly acknowledges having had an affair before you and then lies about it.
2. The ex-lover is the only subject of your partner’s conversation.
3. You see that your partner has a tendency to think negative things about the ex-lover (be careful! This one is so dangerous!)
4. You see that he/she has never forgiven the ex-lover (this means they haven’t forgotten!)
If you have checked any of the above signs, I recommend that you talk openly to them about your doubt as soon as possible.
It’s understandable to feel disappointed and let down. But it can also be a little worrisome because you want to know if they’re capable of trusting or being faithful in a relationship.
If your partner isn’t able to overcome the bitterness toward an ex-lover (especially when the previous relationship was so long and it has been a year), this could be a big problem.
13) Are we satisfied in bed?
“Sex life” may be a difficult topic to discuss openly for certain individuals, particularly Asians.
However, it doesn’t mean that you can overlook this doubt, your two unsatisfaction in bed.
Sex is a kind of connection that helps you both strengthen your relationships to a greater degree.
A relationship may begin with zeal, but time passes, and you must tackle this difficulty jointly.
Thinking back to your two initial heady and wonderful sexual encounters, you may see a drastic reduction in your physical connection and desire in love.
Actually, it’s your life load that intervenes and squeezes out the joy of sex rather than your sex life that gets boring.
No matter how well you know each other, the weight of your life’s duties may cause you to feel physically distant.
The solution to dealing with this is: COMMUNICATION!
When discussing your sexual desires with your partner, you must overcome your shyness.
14) Why is my partner always unavailable?
I don’t mean a lack of contact.
It means they aren’t available and don’t spend quality time with you.
This is an illogical doubt you shouldn’t ignore!
Do you know why your partner is always unavailable?
Can they be busy with their work, health problems, or family issues? Can they be sick of you, or is it something else entirely? It’s really important to investigate this to find out the answer.
It could be that your partner is hiding something from you. It could be that your partner feels guilty and it’s hard for them to come out for some reason.
I mean, it’s an illogical doubt!
The solution is to either consider that your partner may be too busy for a relationship at the moment or tell them about how you feel and how important it’s for you to spend time together.
15) Am I controlled by my partner?
This doubt is understandable.
If you feel like your partner is controlling you, it’s natural that you would feel a little uneasy.
1. You’re isolated from friends and family.
2. You’re chronically criticized.
3. They’re overly jealous or paranoid.
5. Your opinions aren’t listened.
If you see these signs in your case then you’re controlled by your partner.
It’s natural to question whether you should continue in a relationship with this person or not.
You certainly don’t need to feel guilty or think “I’m not going to do anything.”
I hope that some of these 15 doubts will match yours so you can recognize and solve your problem soon before things go disastrous.
These signs will help you determine if a relationship is worth continuing because it is extremely hard to get some closure when you are in an unhealthy relationship.
A good relationship can make you feel truly happy and make your day significantly excellent!