Have you fallen head-over-heels in love with your personal trainer?
Maybe you’re shy and you’ve never told them about your feelings until now. Or maybe you didn’t know the crush would turn into a full-blown relationship.
Keep reading! Here are 10 tips if this is you.
1) Pay attention to your boundaries
The fact that you don’t really know your personal trainer yet can make this especially tricky.
It’s natural to see their physique and think that they’re irresistible but resist the temptation to make a move without having first talked about it.
Because a personal trainer is someone you work with if you’re in an intimate relationship with them you need to be sure that they feel the way you do.
Pay attention to their boundaries and make sure that they’re open to your romantic inclinations. Sometimes it’s best to talk things out before getting physical, especially if you’re a bit shy about it.
Take the lead and spread the word!
2) Make your feelings known without being too forward
It’s important that you don’t come on too strong. Your personal trainer may feel uncomfortable if they are getting the wrong impression about your feelings for them so choose your words carefully.
Here are some tips for telling your personal trainer that you like them:
- Start by talking about the work you’re doing together. Remember to focus on how much you’re enjoying it and how confident you are becoming.
- Only after you’ve built up a good rapport with them should you mention your feelings. Tell them how much you like spending time with them and that you hope it continues for longer.
- Only if they admit to having feelings for you too should you consider telling them more about what those feelings entail!
- Try using jokes as a subtle way of letting them know, such as asking them to be your personal trainer for life or saying that you don’t want to be their last client of the day.
Just remember that being too forward might put them off and make them uncomfortable, especially if they haven’t admitted their feelings for you back.
3) Don’t behave unprofessionally
While they’re probably used to seeing people in the buff, your personal trainer is likely to be very professional at their job.
It’s important that you don’t behave in a way that goes against the code of conduct expected by your gym or personal training facility, since any wayward behavior will reflect badly on them too.
So avoid being touchy-feely with them at all times. This is about business so keep it professional for the sake of both their reputation and yours!
And make sure that you don’t get too carried away and flirt outrageously when it’s not appropriate. You wouldn’t want to give off the wrong impression anyway so be respectful of how you act around them.
4) Don’t rush into anything physical too soon
Think about this for a moment:
A personal trainer’s job is to help you become fitter, healthier, and more attractive.
They should not be viewed as your sexual outlet or a way to relieve tension! And if they are, consider whether it’s healthy for you not to have any intimacy in your life at all.
Instead, think about how your personal trainer may feel if you start seeing them in the same light.
They’re likely to be horrified at the embarrassment and loss of reputation that could ensue if they were left with a reputation for being promiscuous (the very image they worked hard to create!).
So resist the urge to initiate any physical contact too soon!
Start getting to know each other at a professional level before making this step. It’s a good idea to have a mentor relationship so that you both have emotional support between your sessions. Allow some time for them to get used to the idea of being around you before you take things further.
5) Try and find common ground outside of the gym
The gym is where you’re all about working towards your fitness goals, but it’s a good idea to make sure that your personal trainer and yourself are on the same page outside of the gym.
By taking the time to get to know one another outside of the gym, you’ll find shared interests and passions that can help motivate you to get fitter and healthier.
If your personal trainer loves fitness too, then they’re likely to be interested in hearing all about how you approach it as well.
If they’re into sports like surfing or running, then they probably want to hear all about your experiences so that they can coach and motivate you toward better results.
The common ground may be as simple as discussing current issues in both of your lives (like finding a good gym or setting a goal for the next 6 months) or something more complex (like helping them pursue a hobby/sports career).
The more connected you two are outside of the gym, the easier it’ll be for you to show your feeling for him/her.
6) Find the root of your feelings
Try to dig deep into your feelings for your personal trainer and figure out the root of them. This will allow you to better determine how much you actually feel for them, and not just some physical attraction.
Once you find the root of what you feel for your personal trainer, think of a few examples in life where this quality must have been present as well.
Perhaps they helped you learn that learning was fun? Or perhaps they made a meal once that you loved so much that it’s now one of your favorite meals? If it’s something positive, then it shouldn’t be difficult for you to want to develop these relationships with people in real life.
If finding the root of your feelings for them is proving difficult, then try speaking with a friend or mentor about what type of qualities he/she likes in people.
It might be an obvious fact based on their personality type or interests but when it comes down to it, the person most likely has seen someone like them in real life before and so he/she can make a good judgment call on what type of people are good company.
You can ask them questions (if asked) or just listen patiently as they talk about their experiences as well!
7) Be aware of the risk of developing an unhealthy relationship with your trainer
Here’s the truth:
If you focus too much on physical attraction, then you’re setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship with your personal trainer. This can be dangerous because of the lack of boundaries, but it can also be unfulfilling and boring as well.
This is why it is important for you to focus on growing your relationship with them based on your mentioned qualities as a starting point.
Once you have found your root emotions and the quality they possess, it becomes easier to understand if they would be an okay fit for you in real life. If not, then you can begin to filter out any potential issues that might arise and explain them to your trainer.
This can be easily achieved by making sure that the other person feels comfortable in your relationship with them.
Keep in mind:
You may not always be able to find the root of what you feel for them in the beginning, but this should not make you wary of your feelings for them.
If your feelings are strong, then it’ll be easier to act upon them. The more aware you are of your emotions, then the easier it will be to keep yourself safe.
8) Make exercising together a priority
This is really important because it increases the chances of your relationship with them becoming real
If you have no interest in exercising with your trainer, then there is a good chance that they won’t be a good fit for you. If this is the case, then there is no point in even inviting them over to have a workout session with you. As such, make exercise as important as possible.
You don’t necessarily need to spend hours out at the gym together but make sure that it’s on your schedule and something that’s expected from both of you in order to form a close bond through shared activities
But wait, there’s more!
Try to set a goal for yourself. Maybe you want to run a mile, or lift weights for a specific number of repetitions. Maybe you want to race against each other in a half marathon, or even get certified to run a marathon in the near future.
Whatever your goals may be, try to make them align with those of the trainer that you are in the process with and this will help. It will also help if both of you have goals that aren’t just geared towards fitness.
9) Don’t over-exercise or diet as a response
I know you have a crush on your personal trainer and try to make them notice how awesome you are, but this is the wrong approach. When it comes to exercising with someone it is always important to have a goal in mind.
I have seen many people who try out dieting or over-exercising because they want to impress the trainer they’re with, this usually backfires and just makes them resent their trainer who also has no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing.
This can lead to arguments, lack of trust, and ultimately a drop in the quality of your workout sessions
Try not to make it about you, but about setting goals that align with the goals of the person who you’re working with so that both of your hearts can be in it and both of you can achieve the best results without feeling frustrated and annoyed.
10) Remember that this is a professional relationship
It’s your job to remember that this is your trainer and not to be rude, because if you are the one being rude then you are not only setting the wrong tone for your workout sessions but also for the rest of your interactions with them.
It is important that you act professionally and treat them as such. This will make them feel more open to your ideas, give them a better appreciation of what you’re going through, and also help in keeping both of you motivated toward reaching new levels in fitness.
Just keep in mind that both of you are working towards the same goal of becoming fit and healthy, so don’t let your personal feelings get in the way of what is best for both of you!
And also, you can take things slow and gradually show your feeling to the trainer, start off by going for a walk with them and get to know how they like to work out before you start running and so on.
Hopefully, after reading this you are able to think more clearly about what your feelings are for your trainer and whether it’s something that you should act upon.
As I am sure you now know, it is important to be aware of how you feel when it comes to developing a relationship with your personal trainer, but most importantly how they make you feel.
And when in doubt, always ask yourself these questions to make sure that you’re not just wanting something out of them; are you really feeling something for them?
This is a very important step in the process of developing a relationship with your trainer because when you notice that your feelings are not genuine, then it might be time to take things slowly and think about finding someone else!
I hope you have enjoyed this article.