Over the course of your life, you’re likely to have come across an arrogant woman who thinks she’s better than everyone else and does not take responsibility for her mistakes.
So how do you deal with an arrogant wife?
Here are 15 practical tips that can help you out with these difficult people.
1) Assert yourself with strength and dignity
The fact is, arrogance is often the mask for a weak personality.
Arrogant people are scared of others, their own, and their own shortcomings.
They put up this facade of superiority to hide from themselves and others their lack of confidence.
So, when you come up against an arrogant person, do not show your anger or resentment by getting angry back at them.
Instead, try to maintain a calm and confident air. Then assert yourself with strength and dignity.
For example, say something like: “I’m sorry. I don’t know what your problem is, but I am willing to listen to you. But if you keep behaving like this, we will not be able to get along. So we need to have a serious talk.”
2) Communicate in private
While it’s important to act with strength and dignity, you also need to make an effort to talk with the arrogant person in private.
You need to be sure that what you say will not be repeated again. Otherwise, it is just helpful and not effective.
So, arrange a private meeting and explain what it is all about. Be sure to offer your suggestions in a constructive and friendly way.
And make sure don’t bring the conversation in public or in front of others.
Because if you drag the argument out in front of others, the arrogant person may perceive that you’re trying to make her look bad.
At the same time, it will spread your personal problems throughout the group. And you don’t want to confront everyone at once.
3) Don’t be afraid to tell the truth
Another tip that can help you deal with your arrogant wife is to speak the truth without fear or without hesitation.
You might be wondering:
“But is it really necessary to tell the truth at all costs?”
The answer is “yes”.
Always remember that arrogance often comes from people’s fear of being exposed. So the more you show fear, the more your arrogant wife will continue to act in an arrogant way.
On the other hand, when you speak the truth, she will have no choice but to reassess her situation. Thus, if you are honest with your words and actions, she will be forced to change her attitude.
4) Don’t take any personal attacks personally
When your arrogant wife attacks you, don’t take it personally. Again, remember that she is afraid of being exposed.
And if you become angry because she has attacked you, then, by definition, it is not a personal attack.
When this happens, try to change the subject and go back to the topic at hand:
“I still need to tell you something important. But just let me finish my sentence. And then we can go back to this discussion.”
If you don’t do that and continue to get angry, you’re going to get someone angry as well and this will make it very difficult for you to find an effective solution.
5) Don’t try to compete with her
Here’s the truth:
In the long run, no one can win against an arrogant woman. It’s impossible because this person is acting from an inferiority complex and you are not.
Of course, you can find the last word during a discussion. And this person may become angry or frustrated if you have taken the high ground in any discussion, no matter how you do it.
But what she really wants, deep down inside herself, is for someone to acknowledge her lack of confidence or her insecurities.
And if you allow her to get away with it, she will think she is making a big score and it will only encourage her in the future.
And if you contradict or try to compete with her, then she will feel that you are attacking her. And this can lead to an endless battle.
In short, don’t try to prove anything. Just communicate calmly and assertively how you see things.
Then let it go and move on to other things in your life.
6) Take corrective action if necessary without being confrontational
Many people find it difficult to change the behavior of an arrogant person.
After all, they have spent their whole life dealing with this type of person, and they feel threatened or angry when you come up against them.
But my advice is simple:
Don’t try to deal with an arrogant person by being confrontational. Instead, try to reason with her and correct your mistakes in a reasonable way, so it does not turn into a fight.
Here’s the step-by-step process to take corrective action without being confrontational:
- Ask yourself: “What is the issue here?”
- Clarify how you understand the situation.
- Then, ask her to help you understand her point of view.
- Listen to her carefully and try to imagine what she is feeling and thinking.
- See if you can agree upon some common ground.
- Try to talk about solutions to the problem together.
- Let her know you are willing to find a solution that is acceptable for both of you.
- If nothing works, then move on from the relationship and go your separate ways.
7) Look for the root cause of problems
Trust me, arrogant people are not born.
They’re made this way because of certain traumatic experiences or growing up in a dysfunctional family.
So, if you want to cool your head and find out how to deal with an arrogant wife, then you need to look for the root cause of the problems.
Some reasons she’s arrogant might be:
- Lack of self-confidence.
- Lack of good parenting.
- Poor self-image.
- Fear of being vulnerable and exposed.
- Too much need for attention and validation from others.
- Insecurity in her ability to influence others and her role in life.
- Lack of love and affection at home as a child.
And you also need to try to understand what your arrogant wife needs to deal with in her life. So rather than trying to convince her that she needs to change, ask her how she needs help.
This way, you will help her discover her own internal motivation to change. And I assure you that if you do this, she will come back and thank you personally.
8) Stop accepting her criticisms about you & your life choices
Think about this for a moment:
If your arrogant wife always criticizes you and your life choices, then why do you keep accepting her criticisms without any resistance?
In fact, if you allow her to criticize you for everything that you do in your life, then she will start to believe that you are inferior to her. And this will only make things worse for your relationship going forward.
If she goes on and on about how bad she is and how good she is, it will only create self-doubt in you. And eventually, it can put your self-esteem at risk.
Don’t forget that we all have flaws and shortcomings as human beings. And it’s normal to have weaknesses and to make mistakes at times.
So, stop accepting your arrogant wife’s criticisms about you and your life choices. Instead, tell her she needs to accept your decisions as well.
If you disagree with her, then tell her why you disagree but without making it personal. And if she’s not willing to accept that, then simply leave the relationship and move on with your life.
9) Make specific, reasonable demands
Arrogant people always think they know best about everything. This is because their life has always been in a no-win situation.
For some reason, this person does not have any real power in the world. And so she is constantly looking for ways to gain power over others and gain recognition from others.
So, you will have to find a way to assert your power in a reasonable way. This means that you must take charge of the relationship and assert your needs by making specific, reasonable demands.
These demands could be about: Time and attention; affection, love, and passion; honesty, and trust.
But whatever you need to do for your relationship to work, then you must ask for this in a reasonable way so it does not turn into a fight between the two of you.
Arrogant people do not want others to tell them what to do. So don’t make demands unless you feel your requests are reasonable and essential for the growth of your relationship.
10) Seek support from other people to help you keep away from arguments
Whenever your arrogant wife criticizes you or your life choices, she will always try to explain herself by putting all the blame on you.
In fact, she is so insecure that she can’t take any criticism from others. So, she will always attribute her opponent’s actions to you if someone points out certain problems in her life.
Now, this is only adding fuel to the fire for an argument between the two of you. And remember, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of an argument with her.
So, what do you do in this situation? Well, I would encourage you to seek support from other people when confronted by your arrogant wife.
You don’t want people in your life who always agree with everything that she says and does. Instead, look for people who will support you and help you deal with her challenges constructively without getting into a fight.
This is one of the key elements in learning how to deal with an arrogant wife.
If you cannot seek support in your life, then you will be at the mercy of her criticisms and her whims. And as I said before, it’s best to break up with her and move on with your life.
11) Set clear boundaries in conversations
You have to put your foot down when talking to her.
It’s important to set clear boundaries in conversations with arrogant people because they will constantly try to run you over.
And if you let them, then they will keep doing that over and over again until you lose yourself and your sense of identity. I know because I have been there before.
So, make sure you set clear boundary rules when talking with your wife. If she tries to run over you in conversation, then assert yourself by saying something like:
“I understand what you’re trying to say but I don’t agree with that because of xyz reasons.”
This will force her to address all the issues in a more reasonable and objective manner. And it will help to release some of the negative tension between the two of you.
12) Know that you are worth more than she can ever comprehend
You will have to learn how to accept yourself and love yourself if you ever want to deal with an arrogant spouse in your life. The reason is obvious:
If you believe that you are inferior to someone else, then you will constantly try to gain validation in your relationship. And that means that she will always be able to control and manipulate you when she chooses to do so.
So, learn to accept yourself for who you are and the values that make up who you are. And learn to love and appreciate your self-worth.
This will give you a sense of power when you are in a relationship with your wife. And it will also help you to find peace within yourself and deal with her challenges more effectively.
This is the key element in learning how to deal with an arrogant wife successfully.
13) Have perspective — this is your life, not hers
When dealing with an arrogant wife, you have to remind yourself that this is your life and not hers.
In fact, she may be trying to make your life miserable by criticizing you and putting you down all the time.
You must keep reminding yourself that this is your life and not hers. And you have to live your life on your terms, not on her terms.
If you need to be happy and successful, then you will have to create a life for yourself that is different from the one she wants for you. And if she tries to put obstacles in your way, then it’s best to leave the relationship and live your own life.
This is the only way for you to get truly happy and successful in life.
It’s all about YOU! Your happiness, your life, your choice. Stay true to yourself, and find the peace within you, always.
14) Keep your sanity by teaching the kids how to behave respectfully
In case you have children, then you have to be very careful about how you deal with your wife in front of the kids.
In fact, I strongly recommend that you teach the kids how to respect themselves and respect other people. And make sure they know how to behave with you and others respectfully.
Children are not small adults; they are innocent and pure beings who don’t really understand the complexities around them yet. So, try your best to keep that innocence in their lives for as long as possible.
15) Focus on the bigger picture
Arguments are never easy, especially when dealing with an arrogant wife. In fact, they can be so difficult that they can make you lose sight of the bigger picture.
When you go into a fight with her, then all of your patience, respect, and love for her goes to the wind. And it’s very hard to deal with this when you don’t have any of those things in your heart anymore.
So, the key here is not to get caught up in the emotion of the event and to focus on what’s really important.
And keep in mind:
The memory of your marriage, or any relationship for that matter, will outlast the argument or fight you have with your wife.
So, make sure that if there are things in your relationship worth salvaging, you will try to do so. That way you can leave the argument knowing that there is still a chance for a happy life together with her.
I hope this article gave you an understanding of how to deal with an arrogant wife in your life.
The key points you need to remember are these:
Ask yourself, “Do I want a happy life or do I want to be right?”
And if there are things in your relationship worth salvaging, then make sure you try to do so; otherwise, leave the relationship and move on.
You have to learn how to build a life for yourself that is different from the one she wants for you.
And teach the kids how to be good people and respectful of others in society. These are the most important things that can make a big difference in your marriage.