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Arguments are a common occurrence in relationships and can be particularly difficult if you and your spouse have opposing views.
Handling an unreasonable wife is no easy task.
Here are 11 clever ways to handle an unreasonable wife and get on with your life – whether she’s trying to change your mind about something or she just won’t listen to you.
1) Sharpen your responses
Here’s an interesting fact:
Many women realize their husbands or boyfriends aren’t very good at problem-solving.
In fact, many women complain about how useless their husbands or boyfriends are at listening to their problems and offering constructive advice.
So when your wife starts a rant about something, don’t just sit there and wait for her to stop. Instead, try to respond with logic and facts.
Don’t just tell her she’s wrong – offer her insights that might help change her view on the matter.
For example, “Maybe there is a way we can look at this in a different way. What I’d like to do is get your input on this.”
When she’s done, don’t fall back on the old “You’re wrong” routine – offer another solution.
If she’s still not happy, then you may need to try to persuade her with some logic, but at least you’ll know you tried and will have a better chance of succeeding in the future when she starts another disagreement.
2) Know your wife’s vulnerabilities
Have you wondered why some wives get incredibly angry about certain things?
They can’t explain it and often will be upset for seemingly no reason at all. Every woman has different vulnerabilities – concerns, fears, weaknesses, and insecurities.
Knowing which vulnerabilities your wife has and playing to them can have a significant impact on how she reacts in general.
So this is a good time to plug into her background and learn more about what causes her to react the way she does. You can start by taking a look at her past and see what events and situations in her life made her the way she is today.
You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that one or two of your wife’s vulnerabilities are things that you can use to help persuade her in a positive way.
For example, if you find out that she feels nervous and shy around new people, making introductions to friends, family and coworkers can help her relax a bit.
If her greatest fear is abandonment or she’s afraid of being alone, then having more than one person in the house at any given time can help her feel safe.
3) Appreciate her efforts in other areas of your life
I know handling an unreasonable wife can seem like an impossible task, but I’m here to tell you it’s not as hard as it may seem.
Most of the issues you have with your wife can be fixed with a little creativity and effort on both of your parts.
You should become aware of all the things she does that are great for the family and work hard to appreciate her contributions to each area.
So what does this mean?
It means that you should constantly try to find ways to thank her for the things she does and make her feel appreciated.
If she cleans the house, don’t just sit there and watch her – help her out by finding some clothes on the floor or a few dishes in the sink that need to be placed where they belong.
If she cooks dinner, then do something nice like clean up after it. And one of the best ways to show appreciation is to say something nice about what she’s doing – even if you don’t really mean it.
This shows that you’re a great husband who puts her needs and wants above his own, which will make her feel appreciated.
4) Focus on relationship repair
One of the greatest benefits of being married is that you get to share your life with someone and hopefully enjoy a long and happy relationship.
But unfortunately, many couples stop enhancing their relationship after marriage.
When this happens, you may find that your wife can become pretty unreasonable as well.
So it’s important that you start doing all the little things that make your relationship a positive one again. Instead of just sitting in front of the TV, why not sit in front of the TV with her?
Instead of just going to the mall by yourself, take her along with you.
And one of the greatest things you can do for your relationship takes a look at some relationship repair tips and put them into action.
These tips will help you rebuild any damage that may have occurred during your marriage.
5) Get help from family and friends
There are times that you may need some outside help or advice.
Your wife may be unreasonable in certain areas, but there’s a good chance that she may have been unreasonable in the past with other people as well.
Maybe her family is pressuring her to get rid of that annoying neighbor or her best friend is being too pushy about a movie night. Then she could be overreacting if she has these feelings and really needs your help to get through the situation.
So if you feel that your wife is just being unreasonable, then it can be a good idea to take a step back and find outside help.
Talking to a close family member or her friends may help you identify the real problem she’s having and offer insight on how to deal with it.
Hiring a marriage counselor might be another option – they may be able to offer professional advice on how to fix the real problem or they may point out other issues in your marriage that need addressing.
6) Avoid triggers
The truth is:
Triggers are the things you do or say that make your wife feel unreasonable.
Knowing what those triggers are is the first step to fixing them.
Once you know the triggers, then you can start coming up with ways to avoid them. If she gets upset about something that you said or did and now your behavior is causing her unreasonable feelings, then move on to another topic.
It’s better to delay confrontation and simply change the subject.
If you know she’s going to be angry if you bring up money issues, then bring it up in a more creative way. Tell her that you need to talk about it and make a plan to have a better financial situation down the road.
Don’t get defensive and just let her think whatever she wants to think. And don’t forget to apologize for your part in it.
All you’re trying to do is avoid the conflict that’s going on right now, so do whatever it takes to quickly get things back to normal.
7) Find common ground by making a list of what she likes and make an effort to do that for her
You’ll need to find common ground with your wife if you want to be able to deal with her unreasonable behavior.
And the first step is to find out what she likes.
Some women may enjoy a great night in the town, others may prefer a quiet night at home. And some women will enjoy reading a good book while others may enjoy watching TV or going out with friends.
Whatever it is she likes, try to do something for her that can possibly make her happy.
Pro tip:
She may be unreasonable about some things, but that doesn’t mean that she’s unreasonable about everything.
So if you can find some things she likes, then try to do those things for her and make her life easier in whatever way you can.
8) Don’t let her talk down to you
She can make you feel like a small child all the time, but don’t let her treat you like one.
If your wife likes to talk down to you in front of other people and make you feel like she’s so much better than you, then make it clear that this isn’t going to work anymore.
Stand up for yourself because you deserve to be treated like an equal – not a child.
No matter how right she is or how wrong you are, you never have to take the low road and talk back to her in that tone.
And even though this may be the last thing you want from your wife, it’s important that you remember to treat her with respect. No matter how unreasonable she may seem sometimes, treat her like a lady every day – even when others aren’t doing so.
9) Show patience and understanding
I know it’s hard, but showing patience and understanding may be the only way to fix your wife’s unreasonable behavior.
She may have been unreasonable in the past, but there’s a good chance she’s just stressed out and doesn’t really need your help anymore.
If that’s the case, then don’t make her feel like you’re watching her all the time because she’ll become even more defensive.
Instead, try to give her some space. Let her know that she can come to find you when she needs you. Whether it is for advice or a friendly ear to listen to her, that’s what a relationship is supposed to be like and it’s what you both deserve.
And also, keep in mind:
If this isn’t working, then you may need to re-evaluate your marriage.
If your wife can’t stay on the same page as you and it seems like she is absolutely unreasonable, then it may be time to consider getting a divorce so that you can both find happiness.
In fact, this is something that couples should really consider before they get married to make sure they go into it with their eyes open and know what they’re getting themselves into.
10) Keep the level of conflict low
It’s easy to let an argument get out of hand and turn into a huge fight.
But the truth is, you don’t want your problems to get bigger. And you definitely don’t want the situation to get violent or take things too far.
So if your wife is being unreasonable about something, then it’s time to keep that level of conflict low by avoiding arguments altogether if possible.
How to do that?
If she’s unreasonable about something and you must have an argument, then try to do it in a calm manner. Don’t put on an angry face or get upset. Try to keep your voice even and controlled as you calmly talk through the issue together.
Once the issue is settled, make sure to let her know that you’re not mad or frustrated with her anymore.
And if your wife’s unreasonable behavior is making it difficult for you to have quality time with her or your kids, then do whatever it takes to avoid conflict. Try to find a way other than arguing to communicate and get back on the same page so that you can still be friends after the argument is over.
11) Choose your battles wisely
Even though not all battles are worth fighting, you still need to decide which ones are worth your time.
And this also means that you need to learn to be a better listener. You’ll never win an argument by telling her what you think is the problem and how she needs to fix it.
Instead, try to learn to listen so that you can better predict what will make her angry and do your best to avoid those situations in the future.
This is something that couples must be able to do every day in order for their marriage to survive. If you’re not good at this, then it may be time for a divorce.
Final thoughts
Unfortunately, an unreasonable wife is a common problem that many couples face. While some women aren’t always right, they still deserve to be treated with respect and understanding.
So if you’re tired of trying to fix her unreasonable behavior, then you should consider making some changes in your life instead.
While it may be hard to do at first, there’s a good chance that it will help you to let go of the things that really don’t matter so much in the end.
When you do so, you’ll be able to be yourself again and live the life that you truly deserve. And when that happens, your relationship will become stronger than ever.
