We have all had one of those guys come into our lives.
They seem cool at first, but then you start to notice some red flags and before you know it, he’s ghosting on you with no warning whatsoever.
I’m here to help! Here are 17 no-bullsh*t tips for handling a relationship with a man so that he doesn’t end up breaking your heart.
1) Be his best friend
The truth is:
The easiest tip for handling a man in your life is to make sure that you are his best friend.
Men love to have women as their best friends. It’s actually one of the main things they look for when deciding whether or not a woman is girlfriend material.
But what does it mean to be his best friend? Let me explain.
It’s important to remember that: Your goal should be to be his best friend, not just another girl he sees on Tinder. There needs to be more to it than that.
First and foremost, you need to make sure that he knows he can always rely on you. You can’t be anyone’s friend who’s just out to get his money or his attention.
You must understand that it’s not about you, but rather about him. He needs your friendship because he lives a secluded life and only has limited ways of making connections with the people around him. Your friendship is all he has.
2) Give him his space
Many girls have a problem with respecting the fact that a guy needs his space. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a date or in a relationship: Every guy needs a certain amount of space from time to time.
If you’re not okay with this, then you need to realize that this is a deal-breaker when it comes to dating and handling men.
When it comes to giving him his space, I don’t just mean physically.
I’m also talking about giving him his mental space as well.
After all, there is a very good chance that he has deep problems in his life and you can’t fix them. He will need time to deal with them on his own.
3) Communicate as much as possible in your relationship, even if it is awkward sometimes
A lot of women are scared of communication. I get it. It’s awkward sometimes, especially if you don’t know what to say. But here’s the funny thing:
Even if you just simply ask him questions and let him answer, that is communication. That is progress!
I have good news for you:
The more you communicate, the easier it will become in time.
Nothing will break a man’s heart like a woman who only communicates when she feels clingy and needy.
Men will tell you that they love communicating, and they’ll look at you with surprise when you don’t.
So, there’s no way around it. You need to learn how to communicate as well.
You can start by asking him questions so that he knows exactly what you want from him. Not only will this make him think about the future and how he can give you those answers, but it will also make him look at you with a new eye.
4) Give validity to his emotions
There is one tip for handling a man in your life that I recommend you use on a regular basis:
Validate his emotions.
If he’s mad at you, hurt, or sad about something, let him know that you see that it’s bothering him.
You might say something like, “I can see that you’re upset. I don’t know what happened, but I’m here for you if you need to talk about it.”
Even if what he says doesn’t make sense to you at first, just let him know that he does have a reason for feeling the way he does. That’s already a step in the right direction! You’re showing him that your heart is in it too.
5) Ditch the insecurities
You have to get this through your head:
The best way to handle a man in a relationship is to ditch the insecurities.
You can’t sit there and wonder what’s going on inside of his head every single moment of the day. He might not tell you he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
It doesn’t mean that he’s not interested anymore. It doesn’t mean that he’s lost interest.
Just stop worrying about what you think you see and ask him about it. It’s not hard to tell someone how you feel. Just do it!
Also, remember that it doesn’t matter how you feel.
Insecurities are not attractive, and they will hurt your relationship more than help it. If there’s something bothering you, don’t worry about it!
Just ask him about it and hear what he has to say. That is the only way to be rid of those pesky insecurities that can destroy your relationship in an instant.
6) Maintain your independence
Being independent is something that many women struggle with.
They think it’s weird to show a guy that they have lives of their own.
But here’s the thing:
If you’re not working, going to school, or traveling on your own every once in a while, then you’re telling him that he is the most important thing in your life. He is not! You are! In other words, don’t get too comfortable with him.
Another reason why maintaining your independence is an important tip for handling men in your life is because it will lead to more dates.
Why? Because you’re showing him that you can live your own life.
You’re proving to him that he can totally trust you and continue to be number one in your life without expecting anything in return.
7) Give him constructive criticism
Constructive criticism is great in a relationship. It’s one of those things that will help you get better at something quickly, and it might even help you out in the long run.
But not all criticism is given for the right reasons. Here’s a great tip to follow when it comes to giving him constructive criticism:
Do it when he shows you that he needs it. When he is unable to figure out a certain problem on his own, show him the answer. That way, he will see that you can be a valuable asset to him.
However, if you show him that you’re always right, even though he knows what to do in specific situations, then he isn’t going to learn anything. As a result, you might find yourself losing your position as number one in his life over time.
8) Get to know his friends and family
It seems obvious, right? But many women forget about this very important tip. They forget that they need to get to know his friends and family too.
Why do you want to know them?
Because they can give you valuable information that you might not be able to find on your own. For example, how does his family feel about you? What do his friends think about the two of you?
You can also get information from them that will help you keep a better relationship with him. For example, do they think he’s too distant from you lately? Can they offer any advice?
In short, take some time to get to know his friends and family. You might be surprised at what you learn.
9) Support his dreams without being pushed out of your own dream too
Does he want to open up a restaurant? That’s great! Go for it!
But, at the same time, you need to take some time and think about what the opening of a restaurant means for you. It might seem like a great idea on paper, but be sure that you don’t lose sight of your own dreams when that happens.
You have to be okay with letting him open up his own business, but don’t forget to have your own life too.
Then how do you do this?
It’s pretty simple.
You just have to be honest with him about the fact that you love your time too, and he needs to keep that in mind when making plans for the future. If he does, then you can continue forward toward your future without a single problem. If not, then it might be worth taking a step back and evaluating whether or not this is the man that’s right for you.
10) Don’t be his mother
This is something that many women do. They start treating their man as a child from their hometown, and it’s really not good for anyone involved.
When you take care of him like a child, he will either think that you are too needy or that you’re just asking him to be more independent. Whichever one it is, he won’t be happy with it.
At the same time, you might think that you’re just helping out a nice guy in need. You might think that he’s being a little bit childish or irresponsible, but you can’t help him grow into the man you know he can be.
Instead of doing that, try to be his equal. If he does something that might bring consequences for him in the future, tell him how it will affect his life and what he should do about it.
You need to be the one that makes sure that he is taking certain responsibilities in life. Otherwise, he might go down a path of being irresponsible and a bad person that nobody wants to be around.
11) Understand his perspective
We all have a different perspective of the world. No matter how much we love each other, there are going to be some things that we just don’t see eye to eye on.
The way you see things is not how he sees them.
So, when you try to understand his perspective on a certain topic, you’re showing him that he can trust you and talk about important things with you if he needs some advice or help.
If you’re not able to listen to his perspective and really take it into account, then you’re shutting the door on any chance you have at growing as a couple.
12) Make plans for the future
This is one of the effective ways of handling men because it will create great memories for both of you.
No one wants to think about a marriage proposal, but they do want to think about making plans for the future. It’s a great way of showing each other that you have hope for the future.
For example, if he wants to open up his own business and make it successful, then you should be there every step of the way.
There are so many things that you can do together without having to talk about marriage. In fact, you should avoid talking about marriage until the time is right.
Instead, think of things like holidays and trips that the two of you can take together. That way, the two of you will start building up a history together, and it will make the future a little bit brighter for both of you.
13) Don’t be clingy
There is no need to be clingy.
If you’re clingy, your man might feel like he doesn’t have a choice but to give in to you every time you ask him something. At the same time, you like him so much that any decisions that he makes might not go the way that you want them to.
The best thing to do is to set boundaries and understand that he is an adult who can actually make his own decisions.
Then, whenever you want to ask him something, do it in a way that will make him understand why you want him to do it. If you argue with him, then he might not want to give in. Instead, try to discuss things rationally and calmly with one another.
The long-term benefits of this simple tip are too hard to ignore.
14) Don’t try to change him or “save” him
OK, I know what you’re thinking:
“But changing him is the only way that I can handle him.”
I understand that you want to help him, and that’s great. However, if he makes a decision that you don’t agree with, it might seem like the two of you are about to break up.
But really, what he is doing is showing you that he does have his own thought process. He’s not some dog or a child with no opinion on his own life.
You might want to make him stronger, but he’s still going to make his own decisions. He’s still going to think his own thoughts and make his own decisions.
In the end, you can’t save him or change him. Instead, you just have to trust that he is an individual and that he can take care of himself.
15) Don’t fear confrontation
If you’re afraid of confrontation with the man that you love, then you’re missing out on building a strong connection.
When you start avoiding it, he will be confused and might even begin to feel like there is something wrong with him. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with him at all!
Conflict can be scary but it’s a necessary part of having a healthy relationship. If you avoid confrontation, then your man will avoid it too. That way, you are never going to get any stronger.
16) Do not be a doormat
You can’t be a doormat.
To handle men, you need to be someone who is confident in yourself and knows where you stand.
You need to have your boundaries in place and make sure that he respects them. If he respects your boundaries, then you can trust him to respect other things about you as well.
If not, the two of you will have a difficult time growing together and becoming a strong couple.
17) Let him talk about his fear of losing you
In a healthy relationship, both of you should talk about your fears and what you see as the next potential crisis. In fact, that’s just a normal part of any relationship.
If one person is afraid that the other person might leave them, you have to talk about it. Otherwise, there is a chance that one of you might go through with it in the future.
At the same time, if he’s afraid of losing you, then he needs to talk about it as well. Otherwise, he might try to avoid talking about it.
You’ll be surprised by how this simple trick can radically change the way you talk to each other because you’re learning a lot about each other and where his head is at.
And he can also have a chance to open up and have a healthy conversation with you.
As you can see, there are many ways that you can handle men. All you have to do is find a way that works for you. When you find a way to handle him that you like, then stick with it for the long-term.
A lot of relationships start off well, but it’s up to you to make sure that there is actually growth in the relationship and not just acceptance of the status quo.
With a little bit of preparation, handling men can be easy and comfortable.
Don’t make this part of your relationship something that scares you, though. It might seem scary at first but it doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be something that helps your relationship grow and become more successful.