It can be hard to get a girl past her ex. Especially when you’re trying to win her over and starting to date her, it can be frustrating.
But don’t worry because I have my share of tips on how to overcome this hurdle so you and your new girl can unite.
These 15 practical tips will help you find a new love and make sure that she’s not hung up on the last guy too much.
1) Start by being friends first, then see where it goes from there
You don’t want to go after a girl immediately after she’s broken up from another guy. She needs time to heal and maybe find a new one.
So, what do you do?
Well, the best thing would be to get to know the girl before trying to ask her out. Get her talking about her life (not about her previous relationship) a few times and then try to ask her out if you think that she’s into you.
By starting out as friends, you can then see how the real deal goes and if the chemistry is there, you’ll know if she likes you back.
2) Don’t let her see you as a rebound guy
The truth is:
Breakups are hard.
Girls will deny this, but men don’t lie.
For girls, it’s harder than guys to move on from a broken relationship, which is why they look for rebound guys.
This means that you have to be careful who you date and try not to date girls that break up with someone right off the bat. Instead, date a girl that has been single for a few months to give her extra time to get over her ex and see how she really feels about you.
Because rebound relationships usually don’t last, you want to get that special girl to see that you’re different from the average guy and be able to make her feel something new.
3) Get on the same page intellectually and emotionally
It’s easy to go out on dates and get to know each other physically, but you have to make sure that you are emotionally and intellectually compatible. Before getting into a relationship, try to spend time with her that is away from just the two of you.
Do activities or go places where you can see each other as more than just a potential lovers. This will help build your friendship first before giving in physically.
After all, you don’t want to get physical too fast and then later find out that the two of you aren’t on the same page emotionally. That’s a recipe for disaster.
4) Be patient
You can’t rush into a new relationship when you’re trying to win a girl over from her ex.
The cool thing about relationships is that it’s up to the two people involved to build it up, so if you don’t try and rush the process by pushing for intimacy too soon, then you might have a better chance of that special girl seeing you as a more likable guy.
So the key to getting a girl over her ex is to be patient and let nature take its course. Don’t rush into physical relationships or try to force the issue by being clingy.
Just be patient and nice to her. The rest will fall into place on its own.
5) Show interest in her life and tell stories about it to make it feel more familiar
Girls like to talk about their lives and like to get advice from others. But what can make it even better is when you can offer a different perspective and help them solve their problems.
If this girl has a problem at work that is giving her stress, then try asking her questions about it first, then offer your opinion.
You want to appear as an intelligent guy that she can trust by being an active listener.
If you have an interesting story from your life, make sure to tailor it to the issues that she is experiencing in her life. This will help you sell yourself online and in person.
6) Make long-term plans
This one is especially important if you want to win a girl over from her ex because it shows that you are thinking ahead of the game.
If a girl has been with her ex for a year and you get together after only two months, it’ll look strange to see them or even see them with other people and it can be hard for her to trust you.
So make sure that the plans are made long-term and not based on an urgent need to get laid.
Here’s the step-by-step process:
- Tell her upfront that you have plans in the future to hang out a lot.
- Explain what those plans are when they first start and be willing to stick to them no matter what happens.
- Play the long-term game by slowly revealing information about your life so that it gets more familiar and she trusts you more and more with her life.
- Once she trusts you enough, then you can ask for intimacy so that she knows that you’re serious about winning her over from her ex.
This is just a suggestion. You may have your own strategies when it comes to making long-term plans without rushing into a relationship.
7) Show that you’re not the same guy that she broke up with
It’s not enough to just show her that you are a nice guy. You also have to show her that you’re not the same guy that she was with before.
So if you can talk about things in your life to show her that you are different from the last guy, then she’ll see how much better you are.
For example, if she was with a guy who liked to party and went out a lot, then you can show her that you have other interests.
If he liked a certain sport that she didn’t like, then talk about the sport to show her that you’re not interested in doing the same thing.
Basically, be yourself but at the same time, show her how you are different by talking about your life and what interests you.
But don’t just talk about yourself too much. Give her a chance to talk as well.
8) Create a healthy and positive environment
Being a good guy doesn’t mean that you have to be negative or just avoid talking about your problems.
Rather, you can be positive and make her feel good when she comes over. This is done by creating a fun and enjoyable environment.
If you have a sense of humor and can crack jokes, then using this as your weapon will help you score with women long-term. She’ll see how much fun it is when she’s with you and not want to leave after the date either.
Keep in mind:
- Don’t be too positive. Being a positive and happy guy is awesome when you’re with friends, but it can come across as being conceited or arrogant when you are with a girl that you want to date.
- Don’t talk about your problems unless she asks for advice.
- Don’t be too negative. It’s essential to create a comfortable environment where she feels good and wants to hang out with you.
9) Have depth, which means having something to contribute on many different levels to her life
You have to have something more than just a good sense of humor to keep her interested.
If you’re just funny on the surface and she doesn’t know much about you, then she might not even want to get out with you again. But if you are interesting on many different levels, then she’ll want to hang out with you consistently over time.
So find out what her interests are and then learn some new skills related to those interests as well.
Rather than just collecting girls, find out why they are interested in you and then use that as your weapon to help her see how great of a guy you are.
10) Be someone she can rely on
The fact that she’s just broken up with her ex is a clear sign that she needs someone to rely on.
To keep a girl you want over someone else, try showing her that she can trust you with her personal life. It’s not enough that you are just a nice guy; you have to show her that she can rely on your relationship as well.
If she has been with an ex for a while and you get together after only two months, it can seem strange for her to see them going out together or even see them with other people. So she may not be ready to trust you at first.
In this case, make sure that the plans are made long-term and not just an immediate need to get laid.
If a guy is interested in her, he’ll make a plan for a sustained relationship and work toward it slowly so that she trusts him enough with her personal life to get intimate with him.
11) Watch for signs
Girls are often too nice to give you any signs that they are interested in you.
This means that you have to be observant if you really want to woo a girl over from her ex.
When there are no signs, then she might just not be ready to get intimate so make plans to see her again promptly. When there are signs, then she will have greater motivation to get intimate with you again.
So what are the signs that a girl might be interested in you?
Here are some examples of the signs that a girl is interested in you after getting over her ex:
- She mentions her ex less often.
- She smiles more and has a more positive attitude.
- She makes plans to see you again.
- She talks more about herself and her interests.
- She has a more positive response to your touch.
- She stays longer than she had planned.
- She asks for your number and gives you hers.
There are many other signs as well, but these are the most common ones that you should look out for. If she gives you any of these signs, then chances are high that she will make plans to see you again and even get intimate with you soon as well.
12) Put yourself in her shoes
As we’ve seen, girls often have the weirdest fears that take a lot to overcome.
For example, many girls get so scared of being alone that when you go on a date with them, they might want to take care of you the entire night.
They don’t want to be the one doing all of the talking or leading the conversation at all. They have the things that they want to say all prepared in their head but don’t really know how to say them. So they just hold it in because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
This is a good example of why women are often irrational when it comes to relationships and why this can be a big problem.
If you want a girl, then you need to understand these irrational fears of hers and then overcome them so that she will trust you and make plans with you again.
13) Get to know her friends
In order for her to feel comfortable with you, she needs to know that she can trust you. And if her best friends or family members trust you, then it will make your chances with her much greater.
To pursue a girl after getting over her ex, try talking to the people closest to her first.
If they like you and know that you’re a good guy and care about them, then it will make your chances of being with the girl even greater.
So if you already know them, then make plans to hang out with them and see if they can be open to getting to know you as well. If they are, then it will give you a better chance.
14) Try not to be too clingy while she’s trying to move on
You need to have patience when pursuing a girl after getting over her ex.
When she’s just gotten single, she’s not going to be ready to jump into a relationship right away. When you’ve broken up with your lover, you are going to want some time before you get back into another relationship.
So if you try to pressure her into something farther along than she is, then you’re only going to push her away from you.
Take your time and build off of some of the trust that you’ve already established. You should be patient enough to wait until she’s ready to move on with you.
You’ll be surprised at how often women don’t want something right away and may say yes when they mean no. Always be very clear in what you want in a relationship. Be clear on your intentions, but also be patient while they are moving on from their ex.
15) Show appreciation for all the little things she does for you
The reason why a guy and girl like each other is because they each bring out a great side in each other that they can’t get from anyone else.
When you want to woo a girl over from her ex, then you need to win that over as well. This means showing her how much better she is with you than she was with her ex.
You won’t be able to do this if she’s not even comfortable in your presence yet. You have to build on that trust that you’ve formed and be patient with her.
But one way to do this is to let her know how much better she is with you and how much appreciates the little things that she does for you.
For example, if she texts you something that makes you laugh and you respond with a “thank you,” then she will know that you value her as a person and are grateful for all of the things that she does for you.
It’s your job to show her how valuable she is to you and how much better it is with you together than it was without her.
Although it’s understood that women are irrational and have many irrational fears, this doesn’t mean that guys can’t get over it and come to a relationship after getting over their ex.
When the love you had for your previous partner was strong enough to keep you together, then the bond that you share with your new partner will be strong enough as well.
And even if the love isn’t as strong as before, if your new relationship is based on trust, then there is still a lot of love between the two of you.
Hopefully, with these 15 tips, you can get a girl to get over her ex and like you back.
Wishing you the best of luck. I hope that you can have a great relationship with that girl that you’ve been wanting to be with!