23 ways to be considerate in a relationship

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

There are countless reasons why you might be thinking about becoming more considerate in your relationship

Maybe you want to be a better partner for your significant other. 

Or, maybe you simply want to make your life easier by not constantly having to deal with someone else’s needs. 

Whatever the reason may be, these 23 tips below will guide you on how to be more considerate in your relationship.

1) Don’t constantly monitor your partner.

Constantly monitoring your partner can be a big mistake, especially if you’re in a new relationship

Too much monitoring can make your partner feel like they’re not trusted and can make them want to hide things from you. 

Trust is an important part of any relationship, and taking the time to develop it is key. 

Instead of constantly monitoring your partner, take the time to build trust by having open, honest communication. 

When you trust your partner, they’ll know that you have their best interests at heart, which will encourage them to share personal information with you freely.

2) Communicate, communicate, communicate!

You’ve heard the advice a million times. But once again, I have to remind you that.

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

It allows partners to share their thoughts and feelings with each other in a way that feels comfortable and safe. It also helps them understand one another’s needs and expectations.

Communication can take many different forms, including talking, listening, and reading body language. 

A partner who is good at communicating is someone who can effectively convey their thoughts and feelings in a way that is clear and understandable. 

They are also someone who is able to listen well and pay attention to what their partner is saying. 

Communication is especially important in the early stages of a relationship when partners are getting to know each other and learning how to express themselves effectively.

A lot of people struggle with communication in their relationships. They may not want to talk about things or they may avoid conflict by ignoring issues. 

So put yourself in your partner’s shoes, and try to see things from their perspective. That is how you get better at being considerate.

3) Confront the things that bother you sooner rather than later.

Confronting the things that bother us is a simple but very effective way to be more considerate in a relationship. 

This means that if something bothers you, you need to address it sooner rather than later. 

For example, if you feel like you’re the only one doing all the work around the house, you need to have a talk with your partner about helping out more. 

The fact is: By putting off a difficult conversation, you’re just adding to the problem. 

So, when something bothers you, address it as soon as possible so that you can start working on a solution together

If it’s something that can’t be fixed right away, make a plan to revisit and try to come up with a solution. 

By confronting the things that bother you, you’ll be more considerate in a relationship and your partner will appreciate that you cared enough to deal with them sooner rather than later.

4) Don’t bite your tongue just to be polite.

If you want to be more considerate in your relationship, try not to bite your tongue just to be polite.

You know that you should not say something hurtful or mean to your partner. But unfortunately, sometimes it is hard to keep your mouth shut. 

Maybe you want to tell your partner that they are being too controlling or that they need to stop eating so much sugar. 

This can be especially true if you are dealing with a difficult situation such as a long-term illness or financial stress.

When you bite your tongue just to be polite, it can unexpectedly harm your relationship. 

It does not always have to be a bad thing to say what is on your mind, even if it is something that could hurt another person’s feelings.

As long as you are not going out of your way to hurt someone’s feelings and you are being honest with yourself and others, it can help create a more authentic relationship.

5) Don’t be afraid to apologize for your mistakes.

You are bound to make a few mistakes along the way when you are in a relationship with someone. 

It is normal to mess up on occasion and to hurt your partner’s feelings at least once. 

It is also normal to make mistakes in your relationship, whether it is something small or a big one.

It is important to apologize for your mistakes as soon as possible when you realize that you have done something wrong. 

This can help you to repair your relationship with your partner and move forward. 

However, there are some things that you should never apologize for. 

  • Firstly, you should never apologize for something that you did not do. 
  • Secondly, you should never apologize for being yourself or for your unique personality.

6) Don’t leave all the work for your partner to do alone.

Helping to improve the relationship between two people is sometimes a hard task, especially when there is a lot of work involved. 

However, one of the best things you can do to help your partner out is to share the workload with them. 

If you were to leave all the work for your partner to do alone, then it would be more than likely that they would become overwhelmed. 

This could then lead to them feeling resentful towards you, which could damage your relationship.

Therefore, if you want to improve your relationship with your partner, then it is important that you help them out as much as possible. 

You could take on some of their responsibilities or even do some of the work for them. 

One of the best ways to maintain a healthy relationship is to be considerate of your partner’s needs and wants, and show them that you are willing to put in the effort and that you care about them.

By always being respectful and courteous, you can help to create a positive environment that promotes growth and happiness.

7) Learn how to cook a few meals, you both love. Seriously. It helps. A lot.


A lot of people are concerned with eating healthy, but they don’t think about cooking healthy. 

Cooking at home for your partner is one of the best ways to show someone you care. 

When you take the time to create a meal for someone, it shows that you’re willing to go the extra mile to show that person that their health matters to you. 

But you know what else?

You can control what goes into your food and learn how to cook a few meals that you both love. 

It can also help you to learn new skills, express yourself creatively, and bond with others.

And it doesn’t have to be anything fancy or elaborate. Some simple chicken and rice or some vegetables with shrimp will do just fine.

8) Don’t use affection as a bargaining chip or a reward.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into bad habits like using affection as a reward or a bargaining chip. 

Sounds familiar?

Some people might withhold affection if they want something from their partner or if they want to punish them for doing something wrong. 

In other cases, you might withhold affection until your partner does something that you want, like taking out the trash or buying you something. 

Don’t even try to deny it.

And in yet other cases, you might withhold affection because you’re punishing your partner for something they did. 

However, using affection as a reward or a bargaining chip is never a good idea.

One reason why is that it can create an unhealthy power dynamic in your relationship. 

For example, when you use affection as a bargaining chip, you’re essentially treating it as a commodity that can be bought or sold. 

And when you do that, you’re telling your partner that they are only valuable to you if they give you something in return. 

That can create a very unhealthy dynamic that can make your partner feel like they need to earn your love instead of just being able to be themselves and enjoy the relationship.

9) Go out of your way to show your appreciation.

The simple truth is: It’s easy to take your partner for granted, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. 

After all, your partner knows you well and is used to all your quirks and habits. 

But, showing your appreciation for them can make all the difference.

There are lots of ways to show your appreciation for your partner. 

You could compliment them, buy them a gift, or make them dinner. 

If you have kids, you could even help out with chores or childcare. 

The important thing is to go out of your way to do something nice for your partner.

Whether you’re married or dating, showing appreciation for your partner is important. 

It lets them know that they are valued and loved. And who doesn’t want that?

10) Show up when it matters most — even if you don’t want to (and especially when you don’t).

Whether it’s a wedding, a big birthday party, or just a regular night out with friends, being present and active with your partner when you’re supposed to be is one of the most important tasks you can do for the ones you care about.

Sadly, there are countless occasions when people are supposed to show up, but they don’t.

They’re too busy, they forgot about it or they have some sort of excuse for not being there. 

That kind of behavior is disrespectful and inconsiderate, and the people who miss these kinds of events let their loved ones down.

If you want to be respectful and considerate to your partner, then you need to show up when it matters most.

11) Be patient and give compliments often throughout the day — not just before bedtime.

One of the best ways to become more considerate is to start by acknowledging a few of the small things your partner does throughout the day.

A simple “thank you” can go a long way in showing your partner that you appreciate their efforts and are fully present in the moment. 

This will also help you to form stronger, more positive bonds with your partner and will lead to a more fulfilling relationship overall. Be patient and give compliments often throughout the day — not just before bedtime. 

Of course, it’s not only possible to be more considerate when it comes to your partner — you can be kinder to everyone in your life.

Showing kindness is the key to building long-lasting relationships and creating a happier, healthier world overall.

12) Monitor how much time you spend apart vs. together — and make sure it stays at roughly equal levels of time. This is important!

When you are in a relationship, it is easy to spend hours with your partner without really taking any time to yourself. 

However, many masters point out that it is important to make sure that you are still spending some time apart from them to maintain a sense of independence and personal space.

When you do this, you will be able to keep you two grounded in your own life and avoid feeling overwhelmed by each other. 

The fact of the matter is: While it might seem like a good idea to have separate hobbies and interests, it’s actually also important to stay connected to your partner. 

Too much time apart can lead to feelings of resentment and disconnection, which can ultimately cause the relationship to fall apart. 

So what is the right thing to do?

To make sure that doesn’t happen, it’s important to monitor how much time you spend apart vs. together — and make sure it stays at roughly equal levels of time.

And while there’s no hard and fast rule as to what constitutes “enough,” keeping track of the time you spend together will allow you to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met.

Simply taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on where you spent your time can have a huge impact on your relationship.

13) Be more thoughtful with gifts and dates (without breaking the bank).

Being thoughtful and generous is one of the most important qualities you can possess in a relationship. 

And while it’s true that money can’t buy you, love, trust me, it can certainly help!

In fact, research shows that couples who splurge on each other are more satisfied with their relationships than those who don’t.

This suggests that spending money on a romantic gift or an extravagant date can go a long way toward strengthening your bond.

However, while spending money is important, it’s just as important to be thoughtful in how you spend it.

For example, consider buying them a special present or planning a date that suits their interests or personality.

Remember, you don’t have to waste money on generic gifts or impersonal dates, especially those that have little meaning behind them. 

Instead, make a concerted effort to put some thought and consideration into the things you buy for them.

14) Don’t judge, and give equal opportunities.

Remember to keep an open mind. 

Even if you’re not particularly interested in an activity your partner is passionate about, try to be supportive. 

It can be easy to judge others when we don’t share the same interests, but doing so is the quickest way to drive a wedge into a relationship.

One of the best ways to show consideration for your partner is to give them equal opportunities. 

This could mean listening to their ideas, taking turns picking up dinner, or sharing household duties. 

Even if you don’t agree with their perspective, being open-minded and giving them the benefit of the doubt will go a long way toward fostering a strong relationship.

15) Monitor your sarcasm.

Same as above, monitoring your sarcasm is also something you can do to become a better considerate person. 

Sarcasm is a form of communication where people say one thing and mean another. It is often used to express frustration or to make a point. 

In a relationship, sarcasm may be a way of communicating negative feelings in a less direct way. 

However, sarcasm can easily be misinterpreted and lead to conflict. Therefore, it is important to monitor your use of sarcasm.

If you are sarcastic with your partner, it is important to consider the impact this may have on them. 

For example, if you frequently make sarcastic comments about their appearance, this may lead them to feel self-conscious about their appearance. 

In addition, sarcasm can be hurtful if it is used to convey negative feelings. 

Therefore, it is important to think about how your partner may interpret your sarcastic comments before you make them.

16) Don’t let your ego get the best of you.

Ego is the total complex of self-esteem and self-importance. Ego is a force to be reckoned with. 

When it comes to relationships, all too often our egos can get in the way of things. 

The truth is: 

People with big egos often have an inflated view of themselves and think they are better than their partners. 

They may also assume they know what their partner wants and needs better than their partner does.

When we carry around a big ego and think that we’re always right, it can lead to conflict in relationships and make it harder for us to be considerate towards others. 

Instead of letting your ego take control, try to keep things in perspective and be open to other people’s points of view. 

Showing some humility can go a long way in a relationship and can make you more considerate towards your partner.

17) Be a good listener.

Being a good listener is both an important character trait and a useful relationship skill.

Good listening skills are an important asset in any type of relationship, whether you are connecting with a significant other, a friend, or a family member. 

Listening is an often overlooked part of communication. 

However, it is essential for effective communication. 

By listening to what the other person is saying you are showing them that you care about their thoughts and opinions.

If you want to become a good listener, start by giving yourself the time and space to listen. 

You can do this by setting aside a few minutes each day so that you are not distracted by work or other things. 

It’s also important to turn off your phone and put away any other distractions that might interfere with your listening. This will help you to focus on the topic that your partner is telling you.

Another thing you can do is ask questions when you don’t understand something the other person is saying. 

This will let them know that you are listening and interested in what they have to say. 

Finally, it’s important to be open-minded and non-judgmental when listening to others. 

If you enter a conversation with an open mind, then you are more likely to hear what the other person is really saying.

As a good listener, you will be able to understand the other person better and help them feel comfortable opening up to you. 

18) Take care of yourself, too.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to put your partner first—to the detriment of yourself. 

You’re constantly running to their needs, ignoring your own.

Believe me, it’s important to take care of yourself as well as your partner.

You should set aside time for yourself every day and make sure to eat well and exercise regularly. 

Additionally, you should try to get enough sleep every night. 

By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better able to meet your partner’s needs and be the best partner you can be.

It is important to take care of yourself in a relationship for a number of reasons. 

  • First and foremost, it will make you a better partner. 

Let me explain:

If you are well-rested, eating healthy food, and exercising regularly, you will be healthier and more energetic. 

You will also feel better about yourself and be more confident when interacting with your partner. 

  • Additionally, taking care of yourself will help to prevent any resentment from building up within you.

Regularly check in with yourself and see how you are doing. 

Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed? 

Are you having trouble sleeping or eating? 

Do you feel like you don’t have time to do the things that are important to you?

Making sure that your mind is good also helps build a strong relationship. 

19) Don’t be lazy when it comes to sex!

While it’s easy to give in to the demands of life and put sex on the backburner, this can cause problems in a relationship. 

It’s important to remember that sex is not just a physical act, but also an emotional one. 

When you get lazy about sex, it sends a message to your partner that you are not as invested in the relationship as you used to be.

What is the solution?

Simply taking the time to schedule sex into your calendar, means you are making a commitment to your partner.

You are saying that you want to be intimate with them and that you want to make them feel good.

While sex isn’t everything, it’s important for couples to maintain intimacy in their relationships. 

By making time for each other, couples can keep their relationships healthy and strong.

One important thing to keep in mind to help you be even more considerate: Although the bedroom is a special place where you should feel free to be yourself, you should remember that there are certain things that are considered rude in most situations. 

For example, using too much body odor or cologne is considered rude in the bedroom because it can be overwhelming for your partner. 

Likewise, laughing too loudly or burping after sex can also be considered rude because it can make your partner feel uncomfortable.

20) Learn what makes your partner happy.

It’s easy to fall into a routine of doing what makes you happy, but if you want to have a good relationship with your partner, you’ll have to learn how to earn what makes them happy. 

That means listening to their needs, giving them space when they need it, and taking care of their needs in ways that make them feel loved and happy. 

When you make someone else happy, it will help them want to reciprocate, and your relationship will be much better off for it.

One way to earn what makes your partner happy is to learn what their values are. 

For example, they may like to see people treated well and with kindness, so if you treat others kindly, they’ll likely feel more satisfied in the relationship. 

You can also ask your partner what they like about you and what other things they would like from you. 

When you learn what makes your partner happy, you’ll be able to make them feel loved and cared for in the best way possible.

21) Give your partner some space.

If you’re in a relationship, chances are you’ve probably heard the above advice. 

And if you’re looking to be more considerate in your relationship, then it makes sense to take this advice to heart.

Studies show that most people need a certain amount of space to feel good about themselves and their relationships

If your partner feels like they don’t have that space, then it can lead to a lot of resentment and conflict in the relationship. 

This is why giving your partner some space is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

Of course, it’s important to make sure that they actually want that space. 

If they’re feeling suffocated or controlled by you, then giving them space isn’t going to help matters. 

But if they genuinely need some time to themselves, then it might be time to start giving them some space.

22) Show your love through actions, not words.

 I know that “actions speak louder than words” is cliche, but it really is true.

You can say “I love you” a thousand times, but if you don’t show it through your actions (and sometimes your inactions), then those words are meaningless.

A lot of people think that love is expressed through words: you say “I love you” and you’re done. 

But what happens when things get hard when you’re not quite feeling the same way?

Your words can’t help you through a breakup or divorce. 

Actions, however, can.

23) Don’t try to change your partner (but be open to changes).

How do you feel when someone tries to change you?

It is not easy to accept, right? 

Yes. Remember that feeling.

Instead of trying to change your partner, try to find a way to accept him/her as it is and be open to changes that they may initiate. 

This will help you to become more considerate and to improve your relationship overall.

The best relationships are built on a foundation of acceptance. 

The first step toward acceptance is understanding that every person has flaws, but that those flaws do not define them. 

Once you can stop seeing your partner as a “problem” to be fixed, you can start seeing them for who they actually are.

Besides, trying to change your partner can lead to resentment and can cause your partner to feel trapped in the relationship. 

Instead, you should be open to any changes that your partner may want to make. 

This can be an important step in creating a positive, healthy relationship.

Being considerate in a relationship can be hard, especially when you’re trying to juggle a lot of things at once. 

But it’s important to remember that every relationship is different, so you’ll have to make some compromises along the way.

If you both are considerate of each other, it will help to create a healthy environment that is conducive to growth. 

And when you both take the time to be considerate of each other, it can help to improve trust and love in your relationship. 

While the points in this article will help you to get ideas about how to become more considerate in your relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at the worst point in my relationship, I was an emotional wreck. I was always crying, angry, and sad. I used to blame my partner for everything that was wrong in my life. 

One day, I decided to do a little research on the topic of bad relationships. I found this relationship coach. 

And to be honest,  at that moment, I just wanted to see if they could give me any answers or insights. 

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong. 

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific, and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with tips to be more considerate in your relationship too.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.