Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone with whom you have a crush is coming on way too strong? Maybe they’re making promises or declarations, or just generally making your stomach turn every time you see them.
You’re not alone.
Although this doesn’t happen to everyone and tends to vary depending on the situation, many people get uncomfortable with the intense feelings they have for someone who is flirting or expressing more than platonic feelings toward them.
Because of this, you may feel guilty or confused as to whether you actually even like the person in question, let alone whether they like you back.
This is not a situation-specific to one gender either.
Women can be just as guilty of coming on too strong, and if you’re dealing with this problem now, you may have been guilty of doing so even in the past. When you’re crushing on someone it’s hard to see objectively, and this is doubly true if they’re the one making advances toward you.
So if you’re in this tough situation, here are 10 useful tips for you:
1) Staying calm around your crush.
Don’t go overboard trying to impress them or you might come across as being clingy and desperate.
Don’t follow them around, try too hard to make them laugh, or do anything else that might be creepy.
Odd behavior like this will come across as being overbearing, and will generally scare people away.
If you’ve already tried being more reserved and have found that to be a good way to keep your distance, then by all means continue doing so.
But if you’re going about things in the wrong way – make sure that you don’t add fuel to the fire… It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. Sometimes this is more important than other situations, so don’t let it get to you.
If you’re not sure whether you’re making a fool out of yourself, imagine how that person would think if they saw the things you’re doing.
Would they find it flattering or would they think you’re a weirdo?
If you’re being flirty and fun, chances are it will sound to them like you’re just playing around, not trying to make a fool of yourself.
2) Making your move.
If you are going to make an attempt at romance, make it early!
Don’t wait for something to develop, let that happen naturally.
If you’re going to make a move, do it sooner than later.
Remember that there’s nothing wrong with being flirty and fun as long as you’re doing it in moderation.
If you’ve caught their attention and you are confident, then why not make a move?
Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you.
If they ask you out, great! If not, keep trying to get to know each other in a normal way and accept rejection when the time comes.
And even though you may be uncomfortable with the situation, by letting nature take its course you have a better chance of being able to handle any situation without panicking or feeling insecure – and that’s something that can’t be underestimated.
Plus, you will probably be less likely to make a fool out of yourself if you don’t feel as though you’re on the clock.
It is always better to be yourself rather than misrepresent who you are.
3) Don’t overdo it.
Don’t do anything that is going to get you into a situation where you embarrass yourself.
Like just because you like someone and they like you back, that doesn’t mean you’re going to go out on a date with them the next day or something like that.
If the person is into you, they’ll be patient, if not, there are plenty of other people who are out there for you to meet as well.
There’s nothing worse than being “that person” who you can never rely on when the going gets tough.
If someone likes you and you like them, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to go anywhere with them.
But if someone likes you and they are coming on too strong, remember that there is a very good chance that they are also nervous about the situation just like you.
If they’re not, then that’s up to them.
If you’re nervous, then try to be as relaxed and confident as possible.
And if you think you’re ready for a relationship, then continue dating and caring for your crush like you would any other person.
4) Don’t take their reassurance for granted.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because they are being nice and affectionate towards you, they must really like you back.
They may just be trying to get things going so that you will feel comfortable enough to ask them out.
Maybe they wish to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, but don’t want to put a big move on you at this stage.
Sometimes people do things like this so they can feel more comfortable around you and be able to express their feelings more openly.
If you have a crush on someone, it is possible that they are the one who does not like you back.
If this is the case, you might want to take a step back and think about whether or not you really want to be with someone who can’t return your affections.
After all, if you are going to ask them out in any case, it should only be because they are being open and honest with you and giving you indicators that they share your feelings.
So how can you make him completely infatuated with you?
Relationship expert Clayton Max explains that to get through to a guy, you can’t just convince him to be with you, you have to appeal to his deep, primal instincts.
And the easiest way to do this is by sending a number of powerful texts, which you can get by watching this free video.
5) Offer indirect compliments to gauge their interest in you again.
For instance, “You’re such a nice person, I’m happy that we’ve gotten to know each other better.”
If you happen to meet someone who is not into you and are having difficulty figuring out why then don’t assume it’s because of something about you.
It could be the reason simply because they don’t feel comfortable kissing or hugging you.
So what do you actually need to do?
Ask them straight out if their feelings for you are mutual before making this assumption yourself.
And if they say that they don’t want to be with you the way you want to be together, then ask them why.
Sometimes there could be a very simple explanation for their reticence, and it might make it easier for both of you if they were able to voice their reasons rather than simply ignoring you or avoiding your calls altogether.
If this situation happens to you, don’t take it personally.
You might be feeling hurt that they are not into you the way that you want them to be, but don’t let your self-confidence and self-esteem get affected.
This is probably one of the toughest things to deal with when it comes to a situation like this, but try not to worry about it too much because eventually, you’ll find out whether or not it was just a fluke or if there’s something that’s truly wrong with you.
Remember: If someone likes you, they will tell you.
6) Be yourself and make time for them.
If your crush likes you, then that’s great! Give it time and be yourself.
You may enjoy the way they treat you and the way they make you feel; however, if you are not comfortable with the situation then that is also fine.
Remember to take things slow and explore the relationship for yourself so you can get to know more about their feelings for you.
You might be in a position where your crush does not like you back.
It can be hard to accept this fact, but if you say to yourself that you gave it your best shot and you simply don’t like them back then take a step back from the situation.
Don’t tell yourself that it’s because something is wrong with you, or that they are not good enough for you, and so on.
You just have to accept the fact that sometimes things are not meant to be.
You are allowed to be disappointed and even feel hurt, but do not let it affect your self-worth.
It’s good to think about what you want in the future, but don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t work out in the end.
This is life and we are given these kinds of opportunities every now and then; however, this is also another situation where you have to accept that sometimes things just do not work out in your favor.
7) Don’t focus on them.
Related to the previous point, it is important that you don’t focus too much on your crush.
Try to stay away from their things and person because it will only make you think more about them, which will then make when you eventually have to let them go that much harder.
You need to give yourself time to think and reflect upon your situation, then decide whether or not you really want to pursue a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your feelings towards them.
This is why people say that you need to let go in order to move on and improve your chances of finding someone else.
It will make it easier for you to forget about the situation, which means that you can start focusing on other things in your life such as school and work.
Yes, It’s always true!
Don’t focus too much on them because then it will only become harder because you will constantly be thinking about what could have been.
It will also make you feel sad, which could in turn stop you from moving forward with your life.
All things must come to an end and should be accepted as such; however, when there is a situation like this where you want to pursue a relationship with someone who does not return your affections, it can get very hard to deal with when it is not working out.
If someone likes you, then that’s great! Give it time and be yourself.
8) Always smile.
If you want the person you like to like back, then try to always smile and be as happy as possible.
Watching how happy your crush is when they are around you shows that they like you, which will make them more likely to also show their feelings for you.
Try not to take things personally and always keep in mind that this could simply be because they are not too comfortable with the way things are going at the moment with dating.
Sometimes people are just not sure about the situation, so if you don’t ask them out because they don’t want to start anything then you might be the one who has to wait a while.
It can be hard when this happens because it can make you feel like there is something wrong with you, or that the person might think that you have a crush on them if you keep smiling at them and trying to get their attention.
It’s not always an easy situation, but it is important that you stay as positive as possible.
Don’t be afraid to let them know of your feelings because they might actually return your affections and make things easier for both of you.
9) Don’t be clingy.
If you are the kind of person who likes to keep in touch with your crush all the time, then think about whether or not this is a good idea.
Keeping in touch all the time will show that you possibly want a relationship with them, so these people will be more likely to also show how they feel for you by being clingy towards you.
It’s important to remember that it is not always necessary to try and get someone’s attention all the time in order for them to like you back.
Complimenting your crush every now and then is a good idea because it shows that you have confidence in yourself and your appearance.
You are allowed to be upset if your crush doesn’t like you back, but don’t let this get in the way of living your life.
You may join a different club or team and hope to attract more attention from your crush.
If this happens, then you should make sure that you are showing yourself in the best way possible so they will notice it.
Just don’t forget this:
Whatever you do, don’t lose hope and always think positive.
You are in charge of your own life, so once you make the decision to take things slow with them then try not to push it.
10) Stay away from jealousy.
He knows you like him but he still talks to you. That’s a green light.
Nevertheless, he’s not yours, yet. Therefore, don’t be jealous when he’s talking to another girl.
It shows that you are controlling him when you get jealous.
Want to know more about why you must stay away from jealousy?
Jealousy has a way of making us overemotional, making people feel as though we’re trying to “take them away” from them and an excuse to not like them anymore.
Jealousy also keeps people at a distance from the object of our affection and prevents us from getting the true picture of things.
If you’re feeling jealous, try to remember that nothing you do will “make” your crush like you in any way.
If they want to be with you, they will. If they don’t, that’s okay too.
Being jealous of someone else is bad because it makes you look bad. Someone might think that you’re trying to take their man or woman when in fact he might really like you and likes to talk to other people as well.
Jealousy is a bad thing and it can get us into trouble because we allow it to control how we act towards the people we like.
If you want your crush to like you back, then try to be yourself.
Always smile and have confidence in your appearance and personality.
Make sure that you compliment them every now and then because extra compliments will make them feel more comfortable around you.
If someone doesn’t like you back, then don’t be upset about it; it is not worth the energy if they don’t want anything to do with you in the future.
If they don’t like you back, then try to be yourself and change your behavior because people respond better to those who are comfortable with who they are.
Never let a situation control how you act towards the people that you like, because it will simply make them think that you have a crush on them and this could make it more difficult for you to get their attention in the future.
Don’t let someone else’s feelings for someone else keep you from living your life.
In short, if you are in this tough situation, follow these 10 effective tips and try to handle it in the best way.