If you’ve ever been in a situation where you really like someone but they don’t seem interested in a relationship and it’s stressing you out, it might help to read this article.
Here are 10 things to know if you’re not sure what to do next.
1) Communicate your needs
If you really like this person and don’t want to lose him, you need to be clear about what you want or else he may get the wrong idea.
Don’t ask him to marry you or agree to move in together right away. Just tell him how you feel and how you’d like him to feel about you.
It doesn’t have to be a “love at first sight” thing, but let him know how much you like being around him. Try to be as specific as possible.
And prepare for the possibility that he may not feel the same way.
2) Take a break from seeing each other in person too often
Too much time together can lead to expectations.
If you really want to get to know him better and find out if there’s a possibility of something more, limit your time in person.
If you keep on seeing each other just as friends, it may feel artificial.
That means limiting phone calls, texts, Skype calls, and video chats too.
It might be hard at first but be patient with the process. You may have to take a break for a couple of weeks or months and then come back together after that.
You’ll be surprised how much you missed each other when things feel more real again.
3) Figure out what’s going on in his life
Think about this for a moment:
There must be a reason why this person’s not ready for a relationship yet.
It may be he’s not in the right place at the right time; there’s something in his life that he doesn’t want you to know.
Maybe there are some issues that keep him from getting serious with anyone.
Maybe he really loves you and just wants to take it slow and enjoy being around you without subjecting himself to a lot of pressure from other people or from himself.
It’s hard to say.
So the best way to get an idea of what’s going on is to ask him. Talk to him. See if you can get a sense of his intentions.
Maybe there are some issues that keep him from getting serious with anyone.
4) Keep your expectations low
Here’s a tip:
If you’re not sure what he wants, start out by going out together as friends.
If he likes hanging out with you and doesn’t want a deeper relationship, then – fine. He’s already given you his answer.
And the two of you can have fun being friends together.
Whether he wants to be your friend or not, it doesn’t mean that friendship with him is totally off-limits for you or that you can’t have a great time with him.
So the point is to keep your expectations low. You can still enjoy his company and appreciate his friendship without putting pressure on the situation.
5) Set boundaries
I know it’s hard to set boundaries with someone you really like, but that’s sometimes the best way to make sure you’re not disappointing yourself in the process.
Don’t feel bad about setting your own boundaries. This is nobody’s business but yours and his.
It’s important that everyone involved understands where everyone stands in this situation.
That means you laying down the rules and he understands them.
And that means you both communicating clearly about what is and isn’t going to happen.
If you respect each other’s wants, then it becomes easier to deal with whatever comes up in your relationship.
6) Never settle for less than what you deserve
One thing you need to keep in mind is this:
Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.
What do I mean by that? If you’re feeling things for this person, but he’s not reciprocating and treating you the same way, then back off. Don’t let yourself get hurt.
So many girls get hurt by men who have bad intentions or no intentions.
For example, Breathe To Believe founder Tiphany Trafoc detailed her story about how she slept with a guy and developed feelings for him, but he didn’t reciprocate.
This made her feel terrible. She deserved better and she didn’t realize it. She needed to learn the signs a guy likes you after sleeping with him.
If he really doesn’t want a relationship, then don’t feel bad about letting him go and moving on with your life.
You can’t force someone to have feelings for you.
If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be.
Keep things positive and move on with your life knowing that there’s a good chance that somehow you’ll meet someone else who may want a relationship with you.
Think of this as an opportunity for you to grow and get to know different kinds of people.
7) Always remember that you are worth loving
The point is to always remember your value and worth.
You are valuable because of who you are, not what you do for other people or the kind of relationship you’re in.
If you find yourself asking questions like, “Why can’t he see what I’m offering him?” then know that it’s not about what you can offer him right now.
It’s about the kind of person that he is.
Maybe he’s not ready to settle down yet. Maybe he has some issues to deal with first before he can be in a relationship with someone else. Or maybe you just met at the wrong time for him.
What matters is that if you have strong feelings for this person, then it’s worth waiting for him if that’s what you want.
And remember that there’s definitely a better guy out there for you. You’ll find him.
Life isn’t fair, but the fact remains that you’re worth loving. And the truth is that there’s a good chance that you’ll find this person for yourself someday.
8) Be prepared for mixed signals
If you want to get to know this person better, then you have to be prepared for mixed signals.
It’s definitely possible that this person might give you mixed signals.
Or he might tell you what he wants one day and then change his mind the next day. That’s why it’s important that you be professional about your interactions with him.
Think twice before you call him, text him, or otherwise get in contact with him.
Be aware of what your motives are when you try to contact him.
Ask yourself if this is worth your time and energy. If the answer is no, then don’t contact him.
Of course, it’s a good idea to keep talking with him since that way you’ll know where he stands and where you stand with him.
You can still have a great time together while you’re figuring out what’s going on in the relationship.
9) Don’t let him turn into a rebound guy
If you find yourself developing strong and lasting feelings for this guy, then you might be tempted to think that he’s the one who deserves to be loved.
But the fact is that he just wants to be friends.
So don’t allow your feelings for him to turn into false hope or a sense of misplaced guilt.
You deserve someone who wants you back and who thinks about you as much as you do about him.
In the meantime, know that he isn’t going to commit to you. And know that you should move on and find a guy who is ready for a relationship with you.
10) Know that this is a process
This is ultimately a process that takes time.
You’ll have to give it some time for things to become clear for both of you.
For example, he may not be ready for a relationship right now, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t be ready one day.
So if you want to get to know him better and figure out what his intentions are, then give him time.
And if you want to enjoy your time together, then be patient.
But always remember that whatever he’s into may not be the same as what you’re into.
11) Consider the consequences
Remember that trying to get this person to like you can have some pretty bad consequences.
For example, you might find yourself getting hurt or pushing your friend’s boundaries.
Or you might find yourself spending longer than you intend on trying to make him like you.
You might end up in a relationship you don’t want anymore, so think long and hard about the potential consequences of trying to get this guy to be more than friends.
It gets worse if you’re in any way emotionally involved with him.
You may wonder if he’s the one if you push things too fast, but know that it’s not worth it to get your heart broken in the process.
Keep in mind:
Just because he’s single doesn’t mean that he’s available. Don’t get emotional about him just because he’s single. And don’t keep trying to make him like you if you realize that it’s not worth it.
12) Don’t blame him if he doesn’t like you back
If you have strong feelings for someone and he clearly doesn’t like you back, then it’s normal to be hurt.
But don’t blame the guy for things not working out for you.
Don’t get angry at him because of it.
The fact is that he’s not going to change his mind about you just because you continue to contact him or try to get him to be more than friends with you.
Be prepared for the fact that he may never like you back—and that it’s not his fault.
13) Resist the urge to answer text messages or check messages on social media
Another tip to remember is to resist the urge to always do things that help you get the hope back.
For example, maybe you want to get in touch with him on social media or remain friends with him in some way.
That’s okay as long as it doesn’t create false hopes for you.
Don’t contact him unless it’s about business or something really important he needs. You don’t want to be that girl who texts him all day just because you want more than friendship.
This way you’ll be able to step back and move on. You don’t have to wait for him. When he’s able to, he’ll find you.
14) Accept that this person doesn’t have the same feelings for you
I know it hurts to realize that someone doesn’t like you back the way you want him to.
But it’s true:
He may not have the same feelings for you that you have for him.
It’s something that you’ll have to accept if you want to move on with your life and find someone who does like you back.
Here are some helpful ways to move on:
– Know that this person isn’t the one for you and that there’s someone else out there who is.
– Find something to distract you from all of your negative thoughts about him. You can choose to do something physical or something mental. For example, you can take up a new hobby or start a new book.
– Get involved in volunteering or get involved with your community. This way you’ll have a chance to meet new people, make new friends, and feel better about yourself in the process of getting over this guy.
– Do something creative. It helps you get your feelings out and can help you have a better outlook on life.
– Spend time with friends or family members who make you feel better about yourself and life in general.
– Take a walk or explore nature around you if that’s what helps you feel better and more relaxed.
It’s important to remember that it may take you some time to get over this guy.
But don’t make too much out of things so that you’ll be caught in a cycle of never moving past it which just leads to more pain.
What’s more, you need to realize that there are plenty of other guys available for you out there. Find someone who makes your heart flutter and helps you feel better about yourself and life in general.
If you really want to have him in your life, then don’t push him into being something that he’s not ready to be.
And don’t make false hopes for yourself just because you want him to want you back.
Be patient and give it some time.