Have you ever been contacted by someone who you thought was interested in a relationship with you but then when things started to get heated they suddenly pulled away? I know I have.
It can be frustrating, but there are many possible reasons that this might happen, and we’re going to talk about ten of them here.
You can also use these to determine if a guy is interested in having a relationship with you or not.
There are plenty of guys out there who won’t call you back but will continue to text you all day. This can be annoying, but it might not mean that he isn’t interested in dating you.
Rather, it may mean that he is interested but is too shy to ask for another date. Many guys become very nervous about asking for another date even though they really want one.
We’re not going to sugarcoat any of these things: there may be a few that you’ve experienced personally, and seeing that you’re about to read about them for the first time is probably going to come as a surprise to you.
But, there’s actually a lot of good that can come from knowing about these things so let’s get started!
So be prepared for some hard truths about your romantic history that might have surprised you even though you’d probably suspected them!
1) He’s a player.
This is probably the most common reason why guys won’t commit.
If he’s interested in you and doesn’t want to get his heart broken, he’ll want to keep things light and casual so that if the relationship ends, it’s no big deal.
It’s far less painful to break things off quickly than it is to let someone down gently and then watch while they get hurt over time.
Sometimes there are other, more sinister reasons for a guy not wanting to commit, like the fact that he’s just using you for sex. Guys like this often don’t call when they say they will and can be really unreliable.
So, for all of the reasons above, he’s probably not going to commit and that could be a problem.
You need to note this:
A guy who is going to commit is usually very reliable, so don’t waste your time on the guy who isn’t!
They may even use you as a dating service to help them meet new women! They’ll try to make you believe that they really care about you, but in the end all they really want is sex.
If it doesn’t sound like your guy, but you’re sure that he wants to keep things casual, you shouldn’t take it personally.
After all, a lot of people in life just aren’t ready for a serious relationship.
2) He has no intention of being in a relationship with anyone.
Even if someone says he is interested in a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.
The real reason he keeps contacting you, but doesn’t want to commit is because he thinks you are good company and that it would be nice to see you regularly.
But he’s not looking for anything serious, so he’s going to keep it casual.
How do you know this?
Because he wants to tell you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you!
“I don’t buy into relationships yet” or “I don’t love her that much; I’m just being nice,” are statements we’ve all heard at one time or another.
The truth is, if a guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, and you’re having to ask him where things are going (or even just asking because it “feels right”), he probably isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
You deserve to be treated well and respected. If he really wants things to work out, he’s going to make time for you.
So, even though he wants a relationship, he still needs some time to make sure that it’s right for him.
So, how can you make him want this relationship once and for all?
When my relationship desperately needed saving, I was put in touch with one of the coaches at Relationship Hero. They deal with all matters of love and were able to help me work through my issues.
That’s why I always recommend them to anyone facing a problem when their guys call them but don’t want to be in a relationship.
Not only did my coach blow me away with her kindness and understanding, but she gave me some incredible techniques to help me get my relationship back on track.
If they could salvage my relationship, I’m confident they could help you too!
3) He isn’t ready.
There are a lot of guys out there who, even if they are interested in you and want to get to know you better, still aren’t emotionally ready for a relationship.
They can’t have a lot of contact with you at first because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Your friend may say, “It’s only been a year, you should call him,” but that doesn’t mean it’s time for you to call him.
He may say he loves you or something like that around three months after the two of you begin interacting, but to start something serious right away would be too soon for him.
He may be afraid of what it would mean to start a relationship, or he might have some extra weight that he wants to lose first.
Wanna know more?
A guy might be ready to date you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s emotionally available either.
A lot of guys won’t commit because they have a bad reputation or don’t feel confident enough in themselves to form a serious relationship yet.
They might be trying to get their lives together, figure out what they want to do in life, or perhaps have just gotten out of a bad relationship that really hurt them.
If you care about him and are serious about dating him, he might just need some time before he’s ready for a commitment.
You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If you’re talking with him, ask him how things are going and see if he’s emotionally ready for an intimate relationship.
If that’s what you want, then you should absolutely go for it.
4) He doesn’t know if you’re serious.
There are some guys out there who are interested in you but don’t know if you’re serious about him.
At first, the two of you may go out together or act like a couple wherever you go out, but he might not be sure that he wants to commit.
He’s often trying to decide if there’s any chance of him being ready for a relationship and doesn’t want to make any big decisions yet.
So, he’s going to be nice and treat you well, but not ready for a relationship.
If you think you’re ready to date him seriously and he knows it, he’s going to be very careful about pursuing a relationship with you.
If he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and decides that it isn’t worth the risk of getting involved with someone who will only end up breaking his heart, there’s no way that he’s going to get involved in a serious relationship.
Rather than bring up your potential relationship, wait until he brings it up first.
It’s difficult to get your feelings hurt by this. He’s treating you like a friend, which is what you want most of the time anyway.
And if he never makes a decision about whether he wants a relationship with you or not, then you probably don’t actually have much to worry about.
5) You’re giving him everything he wants.
If a guy doesn’t want to commit, he’s probably not going to be thinking that much about you.
Even if he says he is interested in getting serious and having a relationship with you, it doesn’t mean that he actually is.
But the fact that:
He doesn’t want to commit isn’t your fault and it doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful.
He can’t help it if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
It’s not his fault if he isn’t interested in you or doesn’t have time for a relationship.
It could just be the way that you’re talking to him because you’re sending off mixed signals.
You might be talking about your relationship to him and the two of you like you really are dating, but it doesn’t mean that he’s ready to hear it yet.
If he’s confused, he may not want to start a relationship with you at all.
If you’re giving him everything he wants right now, just give it some time.
Sometimes men just need time before they feel ready for a serious relationship.
He might not even know.
If you find that he doesn’t want to commit to you, and he can’t tell you why, give him some space and respect while he decides what he wants.
Don’t ask him why it’s not working out. It may be something that he just isn’t ready for yet.
6) He doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
This is a very common reason why a guy might not want to commit to you.
He might be afraid that you’re going to find someone else and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
He may just not be ready for an intimate relationship with anybody, much less with you.
You can’t exactly control who you’re attracted to or who will like you.
It may be that his fear of losing you is the only reason why he doesn’t want to get serious.
You might be so nervous about starting a relationship, you can’t even believe that he would want to be with you.
He might really like you and be worried that if he makes a commitment to you, the person that he likes will start liking him and will want to date him too.
There are tons of guys that are interested in you out there, some of whom are more serious than others.
It’s not your fault that he doesn’t want somebody else to have you.
He might just need time to get over this fear and have faith in himself and his feelings for you.
If he really loves you, he will be able to overcome this fear. He can’t help how he feels.
Unfortunately, he might not be ready for you and that’s fine.
7) He’s made you his backup choice.
A guy can’t choose only one girl. He has to have a backup plan, so if he asks you out, he’s thinking that you might be his backup choice.
If you want to date him and they both like each other, then there will be two of you dating.
This is how it works when two people are going out with each other.
He isn’t avoiding commitment with you because he has already decided that he doesn’t want to commit right now.
You should respect the fact that he isn’t ready for a relationship and he isn’t going to be with you forever.
But, you could still get your hopes up. He might like you, but just not as much as the other person (or any other women) that he’s talking with.
If you’re really interested in him, don’t completely write him off. You might be his backup choice.
He might not even know that he likes you, but there’s a good chance that he does.
If this is the case, give it some time. Don’t write him off or spend all your time with him just to find out that he doesn’t like you at all.
8) He’s afraid of being alone (or bored).
Sometimes a guy will leave the decision about whether he’s ready for a relationship in the hands of someone else.
Let’s dive in!
He knows that he wants to play it safe for now and doesn’t want to make any big decisions about his future.
If this is how he feels then you probably don’t want to get all serious with him anyway, since you might be worried that he’ll end up feeling like you’re clingy and crazy.
Gentlemen, please know that if you don’t want to commit to a woman or you don’t want to get serious with her, it’s not because you’re a scumbag.
It’s not because you’re scared of relationships or scared of commitment either.
If you are just not ready for a relationship right now, there’s no need to feel bad about it at all.
It’s not something that’s wrong with you and it doesn’t make you unlovable.
If you’re interested in her and she’s interested in you, maybe she can be your backup choice.
One other reason that a guy might not want to commit to a woman is because he’s not ready for a relationship.
He doesn’t want to start something that he may not be able to finish. It could just end up hurting more than it helps.
But if he really likes you, he will eventually realize that this was just an unwise decision.
9) He doesn’t want things to change.
If you’ve been dating for a while and he knows that he likes you, it could be that he doesn’t want things to change.
He doesn’t want to be tied down or get into a serious relationship if it might never work out.
It also might be that she’s already decided that part of the reason why he’s been so happy with you is because the two of you aren’t committed to each other.
He might not want to ruin that by starting a relationship now.
You should think about it too. If you don’t get as much time with him, he might seem to be more uninterested in you.
Or if the two of you start getting serious and change a bunch of things, then it’s probably not going to be the same.
You have to ask yourself if you’re ready for a change when the time comes. Whether or not he will is up to him.
If he hasn’t made a commitment to you and he’s still with you, it doesn’t mean that he won’t one day.
He just might be waiting for the right moment to ask you out. One thing is for sure: the only way you will find out is if you give each other some space and respect.
10) He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.
The good thing about relationships is that they can often lead to some great friendships.
If he really likes you and is your friend, he might be worried that if you get serious with him, then people won’t think he’s good enough for you and that would hurt his reputation.
He may not want to risk ruining the great friendship that you have at the moment by getting more serious with you.
This is a very common reason why guys don’t want to commit to a girl and be solely her boyfriend.
Usually, if a guy is friends with a woman and he starts to like her, he will just wait for her to be his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to risk ruining the friendship by being rejected.
If you’re interested in him, you should ask him out on a friendly date.
If he’s not that interested in you or he doesn’t really like you that much, maybe it will help if you make it clear to him that you don’t think the two of you should date each other.
And if you don’t want to be his girlfriend, but you’re still interested in him, then maybe you should think about just being friends.
Yes, It’s really true!
Sometimes, when guys get over the fear of commitment, they quit hanging out with the women who rejected them and their friends.
They might even ignore her calls or pretend that they’re not interested in her.
But if he likes you enough to be your friend, then he should try to hang out with you as much as possible and see how it goes from there.
A guy who wants to be your boyfriend will want to be with you as much as possible.
He should want to spend all his time with you and make sure that everyone knows that it’s ok for him to be interested in another woman.
A guy who isn’t ready for a relationship will sometimes hide his interest in you. He’ll wait to see if you catch him.
Sometimes he’ll ask you out on a friendly date instead of asking you out on your terms. Or he won’t call as often or try to make more plans with you.
If he doesn’t want to get serious with you, then he shouldn’t reject the possibility of being your boyfriend one day.
And if you want to find out why he keeps calling you but doesn’t want to be in a relationship, these 10 common reasons above can help you out!