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It’s no secret that your ex will always be a part of your life, even if you’re not together anymore.
Still, it might come as a surprise to learn that she may go out of her way to make you jealous of her new guy.
Keep reading! Here are 17 reasons why your ex may be trying to make you jealous.
1) They still care about you
Perhaps your ex is trying to keep you in their life for selfish reasons.
We’ve all been there:
We’re struggling to move on, and things seem bleak when a friend or a family member suggests that we still need closure with our ex, so they can’t imagine being away from them.
It’s an attempt to get control of the situation.
“They don’t want to lose you as friends or as family,” says relationship expert Dr. Joyce Rochford.
The best way to accomplish that is to make you jealous of someone else. They know that if they are able to keep you around, they will be able to get back in your head and control the situation.
2) They are playing games with your emotions
Another reason why your ex may be trying to make you jealous is that they want to “win” an argument.
They want to prove that they are better than you or feel like the winner in your breakup by making you jealous.
Sometimes, they may even feel like they want you to be with them even more because you are their competition.
Unfortunately, this is a common problem for people who have been dumped.
So how to cope:
As you see, trying to find a way to make you jealous of her new guy means that she is still very much in your orbit. There are still very strong feelings between the two of you. You may want to quickly move on, but this might not be the best thing for both of you right now.
Know that if your ex is trying to make you jealous, there are many ways to cope with these feelings and take back control in a healthy and positive way:
- Remind yourself that the feelings of jealousy are not healthy.
- Remember that you don’t want to be with your ex anymore, and the fact that she feels like it’s still love is only making her feel bad about herself.
- Think about all of the good things about your life and try to enjoy these. If there are other people in your life, this may help too.
- Stay away from situations where you might be tempted to think about your ex or other people who remind you of them.
3) They think they have the upper hand and don’t want you to know how much they still care about you
You may have read about some of the reasons why your ex may be trying to make you jealous above, but this one holds a special place.
You see, sometimes your ex will try to make you jealous of their new guy because they still feel like they have the upper hand in the situation.
They don’t want you to know how much they still care about you and that it’s actually making them feel bad inside.
This is a very dangerous situation because they may start to spiral down into depression, drinking, and other bad behaviors.
If your ex is doing something crazy like posting embarrassing photos or videos of themselves on Facebook, you may want to talk about this.
If you can’t talk to them, then it’s probably time to get some professional counseling for yourself and your ex. This will help you both get a better understanding of your feelings during and after the breakup so that nothing needs to spiral out of control.
4) They want to avoid the emotional rollercoaster of having them break up with you
The truth is:
It’s always scary to hear the words, “We need to break up.”
You might feel confused or surprised.
You may even feel like you don’t know how to cope because you’re so used to being with them.
If your ex is trying to make you jealous of her new guy, it may be simply because they want to avoid the emotional rollercoaster of having a relationship.
They want to make sure that they’re emotionally ready to get back into a committed relationship, and they don’t want the worry of knowing that you are going through the same emotions.
5) It’s about payback for how badly they felt after their breakup with you
Maybe your ex thinks that making you jealous is the best way to get back at you for how badly they felt after their breakup with you.
Some people think that it’s a sign of weakness because it’s a glimpse into their emotional state.
But this is what happens when someone doesn’t take care of their own emotional issues: These feelings eventually manifest themselves in uncontrollable behaviors.
You might think that your ex is enjoying their new relationship, but you may want to think about how they feel when they know that you are watching.
If you try to confront them about the situation, they may get scared and pull back into the relationship even more because they don’t want to face their emotions alone.
They need time and space away from you to work through things on their own terms.
6) They have anger issues or a mood disorder
OK, I know what you’re thinking:
This might be a bit of a stretch, but it’s important to consider.
Think about the time period leading up to your breakup.
- Were there any changes in their behavior?
- Were they starting to exhibit any unusual behaviors?
- Could this be a sign of anger problems or a mood disorder that is affecting their ability to function day-to-day?
- Did you notice that they were more irritable than usual? (This is not an excuse for them, but it may help you to better understand the situation.)
One thing that you should know:
Even if your ex is trying to make you jealous of her new guy, they might not see that this is actually the case.
Every person is different, and sometimes the symptoms of their anger problems or a mood disorder don’t show up until after a breakup.
It’s important to know that someone might have anger issues or a mood disorder for many different reasons.
If it does turn out that you have a problem in your relationship that caused their behavior, it may be something that you can work through together. The onus is now on you to dig deep within yourself and come to terms with your own emotional issues as well.
7) They are testing the waters to see if you’re available
They might be trying to make you jealous of her new guy simply because they want to give the relationship a go.
They want to see if you’re available and still interested in starting something new.
It is important just to sit back and see what they do next. Sometimes, you’ll find that they move on and don’t bring this person up again.
On the other hand, there may come a time when they bring it up again.
If you’re okay with moving forward and you’re still interested in starting something new, then it’s good news.
If you don’t want to deal with this person in the future, then the best thing is to make your intentions known about that.
Still, this won’t stop your ex from trying to make you jealous of her new guy. The best way to get over a breakup is to avoid the situation altogether.
8) They’re afraid you’ll forget about them
This is a pretty big factor that many people don’t think of.
You see, it’s possible to have a breakup with someone and still be very interested in each other.
But your ex might also be thinking that since you’re not coming around as much, they may be losing you. This happens especially if you do something like move away or have a new boyfriend or girlfriend in the picture.
If this is the case, your ex might be trying to stir some trouble up in your life because they don’t know how to handle their own emotions.
9) They want a reaction
The fact that you’re reading this article is proof enough that you want to find out why your ex is doing this.
It’s always the same scenario – they want a reaction.
They want to see if it gets under your skin or if you’ll start to question yourself and their relationship.
Maybe it’s about getting some attention from you where they don’t have it as much anymore between the breakup and their new relationship.
This emotional manipulation just means that they are looking for love in all the wrong places. They don’t feel that they’re getting it at home, so they go looking for it somewhere else.
So the best way to get over a breakup is to avoid them and move on. Don’t let them manipulate you into re-opening your wounds.
10) They want to see if they still have some power over you
Well, this is so messed up.
They’re trying to push your buttons, but they still think that they have some power over you. I mean, how twisted is your ex’s mind? They need to be able to put you into a certain emotional state and still think that they have some power over you?
This may be a sign that they’ve become extremely toxic because they don’t know how to let go.
They might not even realize what they’re doing because it has become such a routine for them.
This is especially the case if your ex just enjoys causing trouble. They don’t really know why they are doing this, and they don’t really care. All they want is to get a reaction out of you.
In this scenario, there is no telling where your relationship with your ex will go in the future. It may start off as something that you can laugh about later.
But if you let them continue to push your buttons, this could end up being something that lasts for years to come.
They may get so used to causing trouble in your life that it’s all they know how to do anymore.
11) They want the drama to continue
There’s this big issue that people have when they break up with someone:
They don’t want the drama to be over. They want it to continue because it makes them feel alive. It is what they know – and it makes them comfortable.
This is also a way for your ex to show you how your relationship was good for them because it gave them such a rush of energy that they almost can’t get enough of it.
But wait, there’s more!
If you cheated on your ex and broke up with them, then you can expect some really toxic behavior out of them.
Your ex may keep tabs on what you’re doing after the breakup, and they may even want to bring other people into the equation just to make things awkward for you.
They also might want to make you jealous because they are trying to find something that they lost when they broke up with you.
Or your ex may become jealous of the new things in your life. They don’t want you to have anything that they don’t have, and they will go out of their way to prove this.
12) They want to make sure it’s really over
This is an important point that a lot of people overlook. They may be trying to make sure that you are over the breakup because they need something to move on with.
This can be a big issue if they’re living with their parents, so it’s important to know that they might be trying to bring up this person just to see if you’re still interested in them.
If this is the case, then they need a gentle push to move on and wait for you.
Don’t be swayed by their attempts to make you jealous, because they are trying to get you to react.
At the end of the day, they want you to feel sorry for them and see them as desperate.
Don’t fall into that trap because it will only entice them further.
13) They’re feeling threatened by your new person
Maybe you’ve found someone new since the breakup.
In this case, your ex might be trying to make you jealous because they feel threatened by your new relationship.
If you’re dating someone, then that person must have something about them that your ex is not as interested in. This could be their physical appearance, but it could also be their personality. It all depends on what your ex thinks is most important to them.
Now put yourself in their shoes:
Would you like it if someone stole your ex from you?
You would probably want to make the person feel really bad about themselves and get them out of the picture as soon as possible.
This is what your ex is trying to do right now. They’re trying to break up this new relationship so that they can back into the picture.
14) They don’t know how to move on
There comes a time when you have to let go and move on, but your ex can’t do that.
This could be because they’re too scared of what might happen if it’s over and there’s no turning back.
Or this could be because they’re too scared of being happy without their ex in their life. This can also have something to do with the fact that their ex has got them all twisted around.
They don’t know how to let go and move on.
In this sense, your ex is completely delusional about their relationship and the things that happened in their life.
So they are holding on to the hope that they will be able to get you back because they don’t think they can handle it if they don’t.
15) They just don’t like the idea of being alone forever
Some people just don’t like the idea of being alone.
Your ex might be one of those people, and they need a constant reminder that who they’re with is something that they don’t want to lose.
It can be very scary for someone to think about being alone forever, and it can cause some people to get desperate and pushy with their partner.
So they simply make you jealous so that they have some kind of feeling about their relationship.
16) They feel the need to prove something
Maybe your ex was embarrassed in some way, shape, or form during the relationship.
They didn’t feel like they were good enough for you because of something that happened between the two of you. You may have even broken up with them because of it.
Or maybe they felt threatened by something that you did, and it really made them feel bad about themselves. Whatever the reason may be, they feel the need to prove something to you.
In doing this, they may not really think that they have anything to prove, such as:
- They’re better than you.
- They can do better without you.
- You did the wrong thing by leaving them.
- You are not better off without them in your life.
- You are not the one who will give them life.
- They are better off without you in their life.
So they try to prove their point by making you jealous over their new relationship.
17) They’re genuinely interested in someone else and want you to be happy for them
There’s this misconception that your ex will be interested in someone else just so that they can make you jealous.
But your ex may also be genuinely interested in someone else, and they want you to be happy for them.
This means that they want you to go out and date again because they’re excited to have someone new in their life. This is great news if you were hoping that they were going to realize how bad they felt about themselves after the breakup.
If this is the case, then you can be sure that they’re planning to leave you alone. They will probably never want to be friends again, so it’s best to move on.
In spite of all the vicious things that your ex does to make you jealous, there are some positive reasons too.
If their reason for making you jealous is genuine, then it’s best to let them go and not get bitter about it.
But if their reason for making you jealous is malicious, then it’s best to put a stop to it. If they’re doing it once, then they’ll continue doing it, and this will only make things worse between the two of you.
It’s okay to let your ex go and find someone new in their life.
Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be together. The sooner you accept this and move on, the better off you’ll be in the long run.
Final thoughts
We have shared 17 classic reasons why someone might make you jealous in a relationship.
You may find your own favorite reason for why someone would do this, or this is just what we came up with after reading various reasons from other people.
The important thing is that you can learn from it and not try the same thing again on your next relationship.
If you’re going through a breakup with someone, then keep an eye out for some of these behaviors because it could be an indicator that they are trying to cause issues.
They may be faking their interest in someone else, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not genuinely interested in someone else too.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get over it and start the healing process that everyone needs.
