Why is my ex trying to make me jealous with his new girl?

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When your ex starts dating someone new and posting about her on Instagram, it’s natural for you to feel jealous. 

This person is now in his life – and for some reason he wants you to know about it.

And even when you hear him talking about her, you wonder if they’re going to seriously date and he’ll move on from you for good.

It’s certainly not a good feeling when your ex moves on and tries to make you jealous about it.

It’s easy to make assumptions in your head and let your mind go crazy, but before you freak out too much on him, take a closer look.

And if you want to know exactly why your ex is trying to make you jealous of his new girl, these 15 reasons can help you out.

1) They want validation that they made the right choice in breaking up with you.

Being with someone new allows them to validate their choice to break up with you (if they were the ones who broke up with you of course!)

Or even if you broke up with them, they’re still trying to prove to you that it was beneficial for them that you dumped them.

A new girl gives them the kind of power they never had before; a way to feel like they made the right choice when they decided to leave you. 

If you’re an insecure person with insecurity issues, this is definitely going to bug you. 

The new girl can now be the source of validation for him and show you that your relationship with him had its problems.

It’s a way for them to confirm their decision and say, “Yeah, I don’t need you anymore.”

That’s the worst part of it.

And look: You don’t have to be jealous about it. He’s going out of his way to make you jealous, which means that he is still thinking about you.

This all might be a bluff and he actually wants to get back together with you. He thinks that if he makes you jealous, you will come running back to him.

Now if you notice a new girl, you don’t have to confront him about it or ask him if he’s with her.

If you’re not together anymore, it’s not your business. If he is being persistent about getting a reaction from you, tell him that you don’t care and he needs to grow up instead of playing games.

2) They have low self-esteem.

If your ex is taking a new girl to all of his old haunts and posting it on social media, it’s likely he has low self-esteem and he is trying to feel better about himself.

When an ex has low self-esteem and no real prospects, they are going to look for validation anywhere they can get it.

Taking a new girl out to all of his old haunts is one of the only places he can go that doesn’t have to involve you.

He wants to show her that he has friends and that he can go out and have a good time. 

It’s not a good look on him, but it’s his way of dealing with the fact that he doesn’t feel like he is valuable enough to be in your life.

He just wants to show you that there are other girls around that value him enough to want to be with you.

So if you don’t value him, then he wants to show that you are in the minority of females that don’t see value in him.

He just wants to show you that he can move on and he has the capability to find someone just as good as you.

3) They want to test your loyalty.

He knows that you’re going to be looking at and reading his updates, so why not make a point to do it in front of you? 

He wants to test your loyalty. 

Is he really together with someone else? 

Or is this just a smokescreen to get you back?

It’s like he’s saying, “Nope! I’m totally over her,” when in reality, he isn’t.

Do you know why? 

Because you aren’t his girlfriend anymore, and he’s not afraid to pull a fast one on you.

You’re basically an old girl that he still has feelings for, and he’s now putting you up to test your loyalty. 

He wants to see if he can cause some sort of a reaction in you and then he’ll know that maybe there is a chance you guys can get back together.

He might keep telling you he’s moving on when actually he’s not.

After all:

He is trying his heart out to make you jealous.

Relationships are a tough caper. Maybe he still loves you and that’s why he wants to get a jealous reaction out of you.

The question is:

How are you going to respond? Go back to him and start the relationship again?

Or tell him to grow up and start acting more immature?

It’s not easy and I know your feeling. 

While this article will give you a good idea of why your ex is trying to make me jealous with his new girl, it wouldn’t hurt to get an expert opinion on it. 

When things got rocky in my relationship, I desperately wanted tailored advice to my situation…

I was introduced to Relationship Hero, and within minutes of speaking to one of their certified coaches, I began to see my situation with much more clarity. 

Not to mention, my coach was incredibly supportive and empathetic. Her methods were powerful enough to help get my relationship back on track, against all the odds. 

So, if you’d like to overcome this problem, don’t wait until it’s too late – gets the advice you need and get back to being happy in your relationship. 

Click here to get started. 

4) They want to stir up some drama.

If your ex is trying to get you jealous by making you think he’ll be spending a lot of his time with this new girl when in reality he’s going to end up single for the foreseeable future, it’s possible that he wants to stir up some drama. 

Making you paranoid about him seeing other girls is not only going to make you insecure, it’s also going to sour your relationship with him even more.

When he’s trying to stir up drama, this has a negative impact on his future with his new girl.

He’s not looking to create a peaceful environment. 

Instead, he’s trying to invite you into the situation and make you want to butt in and get between the two of them. 

He likes to see you suffer, so this is what he’ll do in order to hurt you again. 

There’s no reason for him not to keep doing it now that he knows it will hurt you.

If your ex is posting about going to all of his old haunts, it’s probably because he’s up to something. 

He wants to stir some drama and make you jealous. 

Maybe he did something with her and it makes him look bad in front of his new girl: “Girlfriend, I love that new girl but I’m not sure she likes me as much as you do.

5) They’re looking for your sympathy.

Your ex might have posted all of these old memories on social media if he didn’t see the potential for you to feel sorry for him and offer some encouragement.

He knows that when you see his posts, you’re going to think back to how great things were between the two of you. 

It’s going to make you sad because you miss those memories way more than he probably does, but there might be a little bit more at play here as well.

Note this:

Everybody wants a little sympathy from time to time, and your ex is no exception.

It’s not so much about him getting the girl that he lost – it’s about making her feel like she has some sort of emotional power over him.

Even if he knows that you aren’t interested in getting back together with him, he wants to make you feel bad for putting him in a position where he had no choice but to move on and take another girl out.

He’s hoping that you’ll take pity on him for putting himself in that position, and it’ll make you sad enough to want to give him another chance.

If he’s really feeling sorry for himself and he really wants to get back together with you, this is the perfect opportunity (and it’s not even your fault) for him to do just that – without having to explain his actions.

6) They want revenge for something bad that happened during your relationship.

Sometimes your ex might be taking a new girl out to all of his old haunts because he wants to prove that he doesn’t need you anymore.

Maybe you did something bad, like cheat on him or break up with him for someone else, and this is his way of getting back at you for it. 

Maybe he’s trying to humiliate you and make sure that everyone knows it was a terrible mistake to ever let him slip away.

When you do something to hurt him, he’s not afraid to show you that he can have a great time with someone else. 

That might come as a surprise to you (or it might not), but it’s a good look for him. 

If he’s trying to show off his new relationship with someone else, there’s a good chance that you’re going to feel like everything’s coming up roses for your ex. 

If this happens, don’t feel bad about it – he deserves no pity.

7) They’re projecting their guilt onto you in an effort to acquire a ‘guilt-fix’.

Your ex might be posting pictures of himself with this new girl because he’s doing it in the hopes that it’ll make you uncomfortable enough to get back together with him.

In reality, you normally want some distance from your ex when you’re seeing someone new:

But what they’re doing here is trying to make you feel guilty for what you did.

They are trying to project a fun-loving, happy vibe that shows you how good and successful they are.

Or it could be the other way around:

He is seeing this new girl to cure his own guilt for hurting you. He feels guilty for hurting you, but being with a new girl makes him feel less pathetic.

8) You’re still an important part of their life.

Your ex might be spending his time with this new girl and all of his old friends because he hasn’t completely forgotten about you. 

There’s a good chance that you’re still important to him, and he wants to make sure that you don’t forget about him as well.

This means that he reaches out from time to time to remind you of all the things that you used to have together. 

He might be looking for a little bit of comfort: “It’s not going out with this girl instead of you – it’s more like she’s taking my mind off of everything.”

No wonder!

If you thought that your ex had moved on and was happy being single again, think again: 

They might not be dating anyone (or they might be), but that doesn’t mean that your ex wants to erase you from their life.

He might have moved on to someone new, but he still misses you

That makes you feel even worse than if he were simply spending his time with a new girl and his old friends, so be warned.

This makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you and that your ex doesn’t want to date anyone else.

This is the opposite of what you want to happen, so don’t focus on it – see it as a positive sign instead.

9) They feel like you owe them an explanation/excuse.

Your ex might have posted pictures of himself with this new girl because he wants you to explain why you left him and broke his heart.

The problem is that you don’t owe him an explanation or an excuse. 

You don’t owe him anything at all. 

If he hasn’t moved on, it’s not your fault.

When you ran into him with this new girl, it might have been awkward for the both of you. 

That’s not a reason to post on social media about it though.

He should grow up.  

Keep in mind that your ex doesn’t have to explain the reasons why he broke up with you or why he’s so happy with someone else.

You don’t owe him an explanation either; if something is troubling you, then talk to him about it to get it off of your chest but remember: you can’t blame yourself for something your ex did or is doing.  

10) They want to make sure everyone knows how much you hurt them.

Your ex might be showing everyone his new girlfriend because he wants to make sure that everyone knows exactly how much you hurt him and how he is moving on.

Maybe he was the one who broke up with you and treated you like dirt, but if anyone thinks that your ex is the bad guy, then it’s going to make them think twice before calling him out on it.

This might lead them back into your ex’s good graces so that they can let their words slide for a little while longer.

It might also make you feel like the bad guy, and it’ll make you look like one too

11) They want to see if they can still have an emotional impact on you.

Your ex might be showing everyone his new girlfriend because he wants to see if you still care about him.

Maybe you were a little bit cold to him when you broke up, but he hopes that this means that you still feel something for him – even though you didn’t show it when things were going on between you two.

That might be a mistake, but he still wants to see if you care about him or not.

Yes, It’s really true!

He knows if you respond that you probably still have feelings for him.

And if he wants you back, then it might show that there is still a chance you can get back together again.

12) They’re bored.

Maybe you were the love of his life and you had a fun and fantastic time together.

But now that you’re gone he is totally bored. You were his life and now he doesn’t know what to do.

Boredom is one of the worst feelings to experience.

It’s when you’re not interested in doing anything and you start to feel like doing nothing but numb yourself out.

Your ex might have had a bad breakup with you, but he’s trying to shake things off so that he can get things going again and experience life for what it’s worth again.

He’s not feeling sorry for himself; he wants to get back into the swing of things and try to be the best version of himself possible.

13) They want attention.

Your ex might be showing everyone his new girlfriend because he wants to get attention.

You might have been intimate with him while you were dating, but now that you’re broken up and you’re not really on speaking terms, your ex wants to get attention from you in some way. And he knows you’ll look at his social media posts, especially if another girl is involved.

If your ex is showing everyone pictures of him with his new girlfriend, then that probably means that he’s getting at least some attention from doing it.

Some people are looking for attention; they want to be the center of the universe and have everybody notice them all the time. 

Your ex might not be like this, but if you’re seeing this happening, then that might mean that they’re trying to get some attention from it.

Don’t worry, you don’t owe your ex any of it.

If they’re getting attention from other people, then good for them – but it shouldn’t concern you.

You don’t have to tell them whether or not you feel like seeing their new girlfriend. 

14) They’re trying to make a point.

Your ex might be showing everyone pictures of his new girlfriend because he wants to make a point. 

He’s trying to say that he is a handsome and high-quality guy that can get a girl if he wants one.

You may have broken his heart, but he is trying to make a point that you made a mistake.

If your ex is trying to make you jealous, then don’t expect him to tell you that though.

Unless he tells you how he’s feeling, you probably won’t have any idea whether or not this is something that your ex is trying to do on purpose or not.

The point of all of this is that if you see your ex doing these things, then there’s a good chance that he might actually be trying to hurt you – because his actions have a purpose behind them.

Or he wants to get back together with you. Whatever it is, you might need an honest conversation with him.

15) They want to get back at you.

Your ex might be showing everyone his new girlfriend because they want to get back at you.

They know that jealously will make you want to get back together with him.

If you don’t like him anymore, then don’t let it get to you.

You’ll still have to figure out what your ex’s motivations are behind these things if you want to make sure that they’re not being used as a tool to hurt you. 

That’s not a position you want to be in. This guy could be toxic and it’s actually better to cut contact with him.

But if you still like him, and he likes you, then know that his attempts to make you jealous are just a cry for you to notice him.

Final thoughts:

If you’re seeing your ex showing pictures of them with their new girlfriend all over social media, then you need to know that they might be trying to get back at you.

Or they are trying to back with you.

This is something that can be difficult to figure out and you might need an honest conversation with him.

Or you can get expert advice from a relationship expert. They can help you understand if he is trying to make you feel bad, or if he actually wants you back.

I was introduced to Relationship Hero, and within minutes of speaking to one of their certified coaches, I began to see my situation with much more clarity. 

Not to mention, my coach was incredibly supportive and empathetic. Her methods were powerful enough to help get my relationship back on track, against all the odds. 

So, if you’d like to overcome this problem, don’t wait until it’s too late – gets the advice you need to figure out this guy’s intentions.

Click here to get started.