9 things you need to know about dating someone who needs constant reassurance

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Do you know someone who just can’t seem to make a decision, or find confidence in themselves? 

If so, they might be suffering from what psychologists call “low self-esteem.”

There are 9 things you need to know about dating someone who needs constant reassurance.

1) They feel they don’t deserve ‘good things’ or even a healthy relationship

Sometimes, when you’re in a relationship with someone who has low self-esteem, they feel the only reason you would want to be with them is that there’s something lacking in your life. 

As a result, some of these people will actually push their partner to leave them because that way it feels less like this is happening because of who he or she really is.

That way, they feel that the reason you’re with them is because of something they have to offer that someone else can’t, not just because they’re an awesome person.

Many times, they have a hard time believing that someone as ‘cool’ and ‘attractive’ as you could be into them.

If your partner is feeling insecure about your relationship’s future, here’s the bottom line: 

They probably don’t trust you or themselves enough to know what’s best for the two of you.

If you’re feeling insecure about the relationship you’re in, remember that this person is doing their best to make you feel that way. 

Don’t be afraid to ask him or her what he or she is feeling.  They may need reassurance just as much as you do.

2) They don’t feel good enough

They often feel like they’ll never be able to overcome these feelings.  

Feelings of inadequacy.  

A lack of self-worth.. feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Insecurity can cause someone to feel like they don’t deserve anything good in life and not accept the love that other people offer.

So, this person may actually believe that people won’t love them for who they truly are so they might try to be a better person for their partner.  

They may also try to do things for their partner just to gain his or her acceptance or approval.

When you’re dating someone who has low self-esteem, it’s important to stick around.

This is one of the only people you will ever know who can truly understand how you feel, and there are things only they can say that will make you feel completely better. 

This person cares enough about what other people think of him or her to really want to change themselves. 

And they believe that if they chill out and try to be a better person, enough people will love them for it.

Some of them may be right. 

What makes these people think that they’re not good enough? 

The truth:

Many of the things that remind these people of their inadequacy are simply reminders of how easy it is for them to disappoint other people. 

These people spent their whole lives doing things for others and trying to live up to an image or a standard set by someone else. 

In order to make sure they don’t disappoint anyone (especially themselves), they often expect perfection from themselves.

3) They don’t feel worthy of respect and love

They’re constantly afraid that people will look down on them because they don’t have nice things, a job, or a certain set of credentials. 

Sometimes they believe everyone who has something is better than them, and that’s usually not the case at all.  

Even if you do want things, there are tons of people who do want those things too.

They don’t feel like they deserve the same chances other people get.  

Even though their intentions might be good, they just don’t think they’ll ever make it.  

Dating someone who has low self-esteem also means that you have to deal with a lot of anxiety and pessimism.  

They might even try to bring other people down with them.  

If you’re dating someone whom you want to spend your life with, you’re going to have to deal with this person’s negativity eventually.

Wanna know more:

If you’re dating someone who needs constant reassurance, it’s not always bad. 

But when it comes to your relationship, there is something you can do to feel better. 

And it’s as simple as taking a breath. 

When I was struggling the most in life, I was introduced to an incredible free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê. 

With a focus on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace, it was hard to resist giving it a go.

What made this breathwork video so effective?

Well, it comes down to the man behind it all. Rudá created these unique flows using a combination of ancient shamanic techniques and healing breathwork sequences. 

He’s spent years developing them to help people find their inner peace.  

So, if you feel a disconnect with yourself because you need to know about dating someone who needs constant reassurance, I’d recommend checking out Rudá’s free breathwork video.

He’ll give you the tools to start injecting peace and confidence back into your life, from the very first breathwork exercise. 

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) They don’t believe in themselves

Sometimes, they won’t even try to do something just because they think it’s impossible.  

They might have feelings of self-doubt that keep them from trying new things or believing in their abilities to succeed.

You will have to deal with a lot of this person’s fears and negativity if you decide to spend your life with them.

They may be working around their own insecurities and learning to like themselves for the first time.  

If you’re dating a person who has low self-esteem, there’s one thing you can do that will change everything: 

Ask them what they like about themselves.  

There is nothing someone who has low self-esteem hates more than being asked this question.

But all it takes is a few minutes and some honest encouragement, and they’ll open up.

You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn about someone who has low self-esteem if you give them the opportunity to open up.

5) They never try new things because they think they’ll fail

They often don’t try something because they’re afraid that it will fail or end up being a failure, even if it’s something as simple as going to meet a friend for coffee.

This can cause them to miss out on a lot of opportunities in life that they may be talented at.

For example, they might think that if an interviewer asks them a question, they’ll make an absolute mess of it. 

But, by the end of the interview, they’re thinking what a train wreck they were because they were too nervous to answer the question properly.

As though it’s their fault for not knowing the answer.  

When you’re dealing with someone who has low self-esteem, it’s important to give them compliments. 

You don’t have to go overboard or make up compliments. 

But just giving them a ‘good job’ or something along those lines will do wonders for them. 

They make sense to them, and that makes all the difference.   6. They hate being made fun of or taken lightly.

They may have dealt with bullies in school and in their community.

It can be hard for them to trust people who don’t know them or have any reason to like them. 

They may have had a friend who laughed at them when they said something stupid because it was so easy for that friend to tease or laugh at someone else.

6) They feel rejected

They felt like they weren’t good enough to deserve the love they wanted.

If you’re dating someone who has low self-esteem, you have to make it clear that they are loved. 

You can’t make them feel more insecure by making them feel like you don’t think they’re special or beautiful in any way.

They will always doubt that you love them and think that you’re going to leave them for someone better.

If you want to be with someone who has low self-esteem, it’s important not to look at them in any other way.

They aren’t trying to make you feel bad because they want you to leave. 

They’re doing it because they don’t feel like they deserve the love that’s being offered. 

The fact is:

They won’t be your partner unless you’re perfect.

They expect a lot from the relationship because they don’t see the possibility that it may not work out.

They aren’t willing to wait until they’re ready and feel confident in everything they do before they commit to being with you.

When it comes to relationships, they can be really hard to figure out. 

Sometimes, they’re incredibly needy and seem to need you all the time. 

Other times, it feels like you shouldn’t even bother talking to them because you’re not good enough for them. 

What’s more frustrating is that when you try to figure out how they feel and act around you, it may never make sense.

7) They don’t believe in their own love

They have dealt with betrayal before, so they might not trust people who want to love them.

They deal with a lot of anxiety and insecurities, so sometimes they forget what it’s like to be happy or feel loved. 

It can take a lot to get back into the ‘love’ or ‘happy’ state of mind, and even more for them to believe that you’re still there for them if they just ask for a bit of reassurance.

If you want to be with someone who has low self-esteem, don’t ever tell them that you love them or want to be with them because it feels okay to them.  

They will always think that you secretly don’t like them and that the feeling is only temporary. 

And, even if they ask you what it is, it’s likely they won’t believe you even if you tell them honestly. 

8) They have a lot of anxiety

Sometimes, they’re just scared. 

It’s best to listen patiently.

If you’re ever with someone who has low self-esteem, try to remember that they are just scared and anxious about doing things.  

They might be afraid of being told that they can’t do something or that they won’t be good at it.  

It’s okay if you’re a bit anxious too, but don’t let it get the best of you and make your anxiety out to be something more serious or a case of low self-esteem.

If you’re ever with someone who is anxious, try to be patient with them. 

They can’t get over their anxieties until they are able to do so on their own.

9) They become depressed and angry

They might start getting discouraged when they can’t figure out why they are being treated the way that they are.  

Or, sometimes they might just get angry when people make them feel bad about themselves or make fun of them.

Remember that there will be times when it’s not easy being with someone who has low self-esteem.  

But, if you love them and support them, they’ll eventually learn to trust themselves enough to love you back, too.

So why?

Why would I even put up with someone who constantly makes me feel horrible about myself?

Because you’re too afraid to let go.  

You think that if you just try a little bit harder, they’ll stop feeling so bad and open up to you.  

But there are some people in life who will never feel comfortable enough with themselves to open up completely, no matter how much love you give them.  

Your love will not be enough for them.

10) They feel ashamed of themselves and try to hide it… most of the time

They may have dealt with people making fun of them or laughing at them in school, at the job they were trying to pursue, or when they were trying to make friends.  

They feel ‘less than,’ so it’s hard for them to let other people know about these feelings and how hard it’s been for them.  

As a result, they stay distant from others and try to hide these feelings from others. 

They might not feel comfortable talking about the things that got them down and out.   

They may also be afraid to bring these feelings up because they believe others will just make fun of or laugh at them, and so they keep these feelings to themselves. 

It’s important for you to help your partner talk it out.  

The more they talk about their insecurities, the better off they’ll be when confronting their problems and overcoming their insecurities.

No matter what kind of person you’re dating, it’s important you try to give them some space. 

This will help them grow as a person and as a partner.  

Just don’t forget that most people who have low self-esteem are just like everyone else… They just need a little encouragement to change their outlook on things.

How can you help them? 


  • Try to cheer them up and encourage them to try new things or to be better people. 
  • Tell your friend you don’t know what they’re going through, but that you love them and care about them.   
  • Try to listen more than you talk, so they won’t feel rushed when they want to talk.   

Change how you think of him or her.   

Instead of looking at them in a negative light, look at them with a more positive and encouraging perspective.  

You can even learn a lot about making friends if someone is comfortable and open about what they’re going through.   

You might even learn to help out your friend with their self-esteem problems if they are willing to talk to you about it.

Just don’t forget that everyone has their own set of insecurities.  

If you know someone with low self-esteem, you can help them be a better person and overcome these issues by showering them with some encouragement and love.

Why do you need reassurance in a relationship?

We all want to feel loved and reassured.

This drive to feel loved is innate in all of us. 

This need is more pronounced in people who have low self-esteem because they are so afraid of being rejected or abandoned that they often feel inferior to others.

If your partner has low self-esteem, you should try not to mock them, make fun of them, or laugh at their feelings of inadequacy.    

You should let them know that you love them and that you care about their feelings.

By doing this, you might be able to help them feel more secure about themselves and their relationship.

However, if your partner’s self-esteem problems are too serious for you to handle on your own, then there are other alternatives.

For example:   

You could always consult a therapist.  

They will be able to give you advice and direction on how to deal with the situation in a diplomatic way.

They’ll also be able to suggest other resources, such as books and support groups, that will help you better understand your partner’s problems.

But what if your partner won’t see a therapist?  

In this case, it might be best to distance yourself from them until they are ready to open up and listen to what you have to say without feeling threatened.   

The bottom line is that they need time to work on their issues on their own.

By giving them some space, you are allowing them to come to terms with their insecurities on their own.

Just remember that, in time, your partner will come back to you and the two of you will be able to work things out as a couple.

It might take a while for them to get used to feeling better about themselves.

But if you give them enough support and encouragement along the way, they’ll eventually work past these issues and start living life without fear.

Final thoughts

If your partner’s low self-esteem is affecting your relationship, then one of the things you can do is to develop more empathy.  

You may have to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to comprehend how they are feeling.   

If you feel that you don’t need support from a third party, then it might be best for you to try and talk to them about their feelings.  

When it comes to dealing with low self-esteem, there are no hard and fast rules.