15 reasons your ex randomly pops up in your head (the only list you’ll need!)

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| Last Updated: September 20, 2022

You thought you’ve moved on from your ex, but for some reason, they keep randomly popping up in your mind.

Does this mean you want them back? Or does it mean that your ex wants you back?

Maybe it’s some combination of the two, but there could also be many other reasons.

So let’s find out. In this article, I’m going to go through all of the reasons why your ex keeps randomly popping up in your head.

1.You still care about your ex

It’s impossible to be in a relationship with someone you don’t care about.

Some residues of care are bound to linger in your mind. This is why , even after years have passed, you still think about your ex sometimes.

This is normal, particularly if the period of relationship was long and meaningful to you.

It’s a known fact that the more meaningful the relationship was, the longer it takes to stop thinking about it — even after you’ve moved on.

2. You still have strong memories of your ex

Memories are incredibly hard to get rid of, and they keep popping in your head unexpectedly even if you want them gone.

All you have to do is conjure a certain memory, and there it is, staring you in the face.

This can be hard to deal with if it’s an unpleasant memory of your ex behaving badly or it’s a memory from before the breakup.

Depending on your level of bitterness or insight , you are either going to play that memory over and over again in your head … or distract yourself from it.

Or maybe you have positive memories of your ex. Whatever it is, this is yet another example of how, even though you are over your ex, there are still some residues of your relationship hanging around.

3. Your ex was a part of your identity

Your ex was not just a person you dated. He or she was also a part of the life you had together.

You went to parties together, took trips together, hung out with friends and family together, and everything else that comes with being in a couple.

This means that even if you are no longer together, you are still going to have strong attachments to the person. That’s why, even if you are dating someone new now, you still think about your ex sometimes.

4. You’re having flashbacks

Maybe you spent a significant amount of time with your ex — perhaps even years. This means that you have an array of memories to choose from when you reminisce.

These can range from intense emotions (like hurt, anger, sadness), to positive ones (love and happiness).

Whatever the trait is, one thing’s for certain: You will remember your ex in a different way now that you are no longer together.

This is why it may feel strange. But your mind is just playing tricks on you. The old memories are back to remind you of who you were then, and that’s it.

You can be sure that if one of your old friends popped into your head like this, you wouldn’t think he or she was trying to get back together with you!

5. You have unresolved emotions

If the breakup was painful, unfair, or unexpected, you may feel angry and bitter toward your ex.

If that’s the case and you still think about your ex, you may be having flashbacks of strong emotions.

These are difficult to deal with and can come out of nowhere when you least expect them.

Some people even report having dreams about their ex after getting over him or her!

Does it mean they want their ex back? No, but having dreams about ex does mean that some stuff needs to be worked out before your life is fully back on track.

6. You miss the good times

This is a common reason. If you weren’t ready to be over your ex before, you may feel like making a quick comeback now because of your reluctance to let go.

You want to remember the good, and that includes having some good memories together — even if they were with someone else.

It doesn’t mean you want him or her back, but maybe it means you miss them just the same.

Perhaps your current lover doesn’t offer you the same level of understanding, care, or fun that your ex did.

This can make you feel lonely and less satisfied in the relationship, and you may even have a longing for the past because of it.

7. Your current relationship lacks something

Maybe your current partner doesn’t make you feel as loved as your ex did before. Or maybe this new guy or girl doesn’t entertain you as much as before.

This means that when you think about your ex, it’s not a sign that you want them back. It’s just a reminder of the things that are missing from your current relationship.

If this is the case, you may be overly dependent on your partner to make you happy. If so, working on your independence and separation issues is the way to go!

Or maybe your current partner needs to work on their communication. Whatever it is, it’s just a sign of what you’re missing in your current relationship.

8. You just broke up

If you just recently ended a relationship, your mind is going to be flooded with all sorts of emotions.

Some of those emotions are going to make you think about your ex and the good times you had together.

It’s almost a natural reaction after a breakup and will pass with time. Keep in mind that it doesn’t mean you miss or want your ex back, as this feeling will go away after some time.

9. You’re afraid of getting over your ex

There are some reasons that you may want to hold onto your ex — and they’re extremely common.

Maybe you’re scared of the change that will come when you get over him or her.

Maybe you’re afraid of losing what you once had. Maybe it’s just too hard to get past the breakup, even if you’ve tried everything else in the world.

And maybe the very idea of moving on with life is just too hard for you to accept.

The truth is this:

You had a strong bond with your ex that had some really posiitve moments. In the end, who would want to forget that?

10. Or maybe you really do want your ex back!

You may be having flashbacks for any number of reasons. And if you’re having flashbacks of your ex and want them to come back, it can be a powerful urge that takes over your whole body.

Are you feeling lonely? Do you still have feelings for your ex?

Then it might be that you want them back, even if you know it’s not a good idea.

The question is: What should you do if you want them back?

If you have decided that you do truly want them back, then try this “Jealousy” text
— “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” —

Jealousy is a powerful thing; use it to your advantage. But use it wisely.

By giving your ex this text, you’re communicating to your ex that you’re actually wanted by others. We’re all attracted to people wanted by others.

By saying that you’re dating again, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!”

After sending this text they’ll begin to feel attraction for you again because of a “fear of loss”.

I learned from Brad Browning, hands down my favorite “get your ex back” online coach.

Here’s a link to his free online video

In this video, he gives a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately to get your ex back.

11. You went to your ex and yours favorite date place

Maybe the reason they popped up in your head was because you went with your ex to a favorite place? Or maybe you even went to their house!

Most people associate certain places with their ex, so it might be that by visiting one of these places, your mind will automatically bring up some of the memories.

In other words: Memory associations can be powerful!

Just remember that if you went to visit your ex, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want them back. It’s just a part of healing and getting over them.

12. You’re lonely

If you’re lonely and missing your ex, your mind is going to automatically bring up the good times.

It’s a way of trying to make you feel better. You want to feel that excitement and pleasure again – even if it was with another person!

This isn’t necessarily true, though – sometimes we can feel lonely even though we’re in a relationship.

Whatever it is, you’re feeling a little lonely and the truth is, when you were with your ex, you felt less lonely.

Does it mean you want them back? Not necessarily, but it does mean that you’re lacking strong connections in your life now.

13. Your ex has been sending you messages and trying to get in contact with you

If your ex has been contacting you, your mind is going to bring up those memories more often.

It’s the same thing that happens when you talk to your ex again. You’re going to start thinking about them on a daily basis!

Maybe they’ve been sending you messages and you’ve been trying to avoid thinking about them by doing other things.

But the truth is, you used to have feelings for them, so when they message you, it’s natural to think about them.

This doesn’t mean you want them back, it just means they messaged you and that made you think of them.

14. Childhood memories were triggered

There are things that trigger your childhood memories and it could be that your partner is one of them.

Maybe you never really got over them or maybe you never really got over your first love.

But for whatever reason, it’s possible that the memory of your ex was evoked because of a trigger from childhood memories related to them.
In other words:

The memories of the relationship you had with your ex were triggered because of something that happened in your childhood.

15. You were thinking about what could have been with your ex

Maybe you were thinking about all the things that could have happened if you stayed with your ex.

Maybe the argument was something to do with the future, or maybe you thought about your dreams together. All these things, whether positive or negative, can all lead to the same thing:

Your mind is thinking about what could have been with your ex.

We all think about what could have been. Our futures can take different paths depending on our decisions so it’s natural to wonder how things would have been if you’d made different decisions.

You don’t know what your life would be like if you never broke up, and this is just the way that minds work!

Now if you’ve decided that you do really want them back, then you need a plan on how to go about it.

If you truly want to reconnect with your ex, you can’t leave it down to chance. 

You need to take action and get them back before it’s too late. 

And the best person to help with that is Brad Browning. I’ve mentioned him throughout this article because his advice is the best when it comes to reconnecting couples. 

With tips that you can start to use from as early as today, what are you waiting for?
Check out his excellent free video here.